Ok, ok so you know how this works – no posts, means no running. I have been utterly crap! My fat arse seems to want to stay glued to the sofa. Not in the depression fogged way of late but in a lazy sort of ‘yeah I’ll go later’ sort of a way. I guess that’s sort of a positive – I can get off the sofa, just don’t want to.

Actually that’s not entirely true – I have wanted to get off the sofa and I have done stuff – I’ve walked miles both here and on our trip to the Lakes, I’ve sorted photos, I’ve organised books onto shelves, I’ve sorted work files, I’ve looked after our sheep, looked at new cars, looked at sheep trailers (stories yet to be shared on the sheep blog…). I’ve been busy. At least it feels like I have. All of this is of course just an excuse. I could easily have found time to run – just didn’t want to.

It’s 24 days to the Disneyland Paris Half Marathon. Hm, I think I better start thinking about running again. I think we’re ok. I’m not really panicked yet. I’m not worried about not making the distance – that’s the nice thing about a half marathon. It is doable, not so stupidly impossible like a marathon. I will be slow because I always am and I don’t mind. I am going into this with a slightly different mindset I think. I am not worried or scared. I am looking forward to it. I also have the memory of the Dopey Challenge Half which I loved. Yes it was hard somewhere in the middle where I felt a bit miserable but it didn’t last long and the overall experience was really positive. That’s what I am aiming for again. Just being there, doing it and taking it all in. If I do that the finish line will come to me!

For a few days I’ve felt grumpy about running and fitness and weight and food and ‘being good’. Just the very idea of trying to be good makes me want to eat a bar of chocolate. That thinking doesn’t work for me. I’ll refocus on fuelling and eating good stuff rather than being good! I feel better about it all today, much better and I’ve got my running gear on so when Kath breaks for lunch we can go and have a little trot out and then I’ll decide whether I want to panic about running 13.1 miles in just over three weeks!

Oh, did I just say I was LOOKING FORWARD TO a half marathon? How odd.