I love my random additional days off! There are a couple of bank holidays where we also get the Tuesday off from work and there is always something really nice about that additional day. It feels a bit indulgent in a way annual leave doesn’t. The plan for today was just to try out the calf a bit. Nothing silly but after yesterday’s gym session all is still well and it seems like the obvious next step is to see how it fairs out in the wild. So we went to Bolton Abbey. Kath went off on her 5 mile loop and my plan was to walk a mile which would take me almost to the Strid and then on the way back I would throw in a few little jogs to see how everything feels. The loop went like this:
Ooh it’s lovely and cool under these trees
Squirrel!
Bye Kath as I waved her off on her run
Hm, high path or low path? High path
Wild garlic smells lush
What’s that? Oh just a pigeon
Everything feels ok, good
Oh person, ‘hello’. No hello? Rude
Oh I am at the Strid already. Lovely. That was nice. Should I run now?
Little jog, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee downhill
Ok nothing hurts, did my knee just niggle? Nah, that was a brain niggle not a knee niggle
Ok, back we go. Little jog, body scan, all good
Slope, walk. But I could try and run. Stop it, be sensible!
Weeeeeeeee down the slope and on a bit. Ok all good
It’s kinda hot
My eyebrows are sweaty
Little run, all good. Keep going to that tree. No not that one, the other one. Which one? You know. Do I? Oh slope, walk
And run down the hill and keep going, keep going, yes it’s hot, keep going. Fuck that’s a big dog. Walk
‘ Hi dog’ (and human). Aw friendly. That’s nice. Walk the hill though
And last little run down the slope to the Cavendish Pavilion. Ooh is that tightness? Niggle? Brain niggle or real niggle?
Doesn’t matter. I am out of the wood, too hot to run in full sun. Walk to car
Grab go bag with change of clothes, gym towel and deodorant and head for toilets
Thank goodness I am getting changed because these lycra pants are not coming back up after having a pee. Also, I think I have an actual puddle in my bra.
Good outing that. Happy
So that’s another 3.7km added to the Berlin Wall virtual challenge. Well, I continued along the road I was on and then turned right where I will have walked along a stretch planted with 45 cherry trees as a memorial. I continued along the Wall route past more remnants, a tower and then I hit the river Spree. The river also acted as a physical border with underwater barriers. There is a lot online about this if you are interested and on the Mauerspuren website you can see the various locations. After crossing the river I will have come to the East Side Gallery. We have been to that Gallery – the longest Open Air gallery in the world and the longest continuous stretch of Wall remaining. The 1.3km of that stretch will have taken a third of my run/walk today and I am sure that if I was doing it for real, I would have lingered. We probably have photos but what you can see online is probably better. After that I went onwards along the route, past more bits of wall. I’ll soon head left over the river again but that’s for next time.
I had to rethink my Berlin Wall Challenge. Hmph. Silly calf muscle. I think it is probably getting better now but it was pretty painful for a good few days. I tried to go for a walk a couple of times but going up even the slights slope hurt. Cycling was pain free but I didn’t want to cycle, I wanted to run. But anyway, I want to complete the challenge this month because I have other plans for June!
I have counted walking and biking – not that this has got me all that far – I still have about 30km to go over the next week. But anyway, where am I? Well I think last time I had just gone past the piece of the Wall outside the Museum Treptow. I called it the first piece I passed but actually I missed a whole stretch that runs along side the lovely A113. You can see where exactly and also some good pictures on the Mauerspuren website here. Eventually the challenge route left the A113 and I must have magically jumped from the motorway across to a footpath along a canal the name of which I looked up and have forgotten again. Then, not long after that I turned right along another bit of canal. About halfway along the stretch I did along that canal, I will have passed the monument to the last victim of the Wall Chris Gueffroy. He was shot dead on the 5th February 1989 trying to cross into West Berlin. Just think about that for a second. 1989.
A little after that I will have crossed the canal and headed left. Mauerspuren tells me there are more bits of Wall to be seen and as I make my way through this residential (I think) area, there are also concrete posts to which barbed wire will have been attached. If I ventured off the main route a little I would be able to see another bit of Wall that is outside the townhall in Treptow. A little further along you can see a series of stone slabs marking the border as well as the street lighting that would have illuminated the border zone. After more bits of Wall I will have turned left and then right to find myself on Harzer Strasse, which is where I currently am with this view.
From the challenge itself you wouldn’t know about the bits of wall or other left overs from the physical border. You wouldn’t know about the monument along the canal. In fact, so far I have had one ‘postcard’ which tells me Berlin is a thriving City of 3.8 million people and gives a very superficial account of Germany being divided into East and West after World War 2. In fact you’d get a sense of the Wall and the Death strip that was nomansland as something vaguely Hollywood. The postcard talks of daring escapes. I’m not keen on the positioning and writing in this. It feels glamourised and the point sort of missed.
I also unlocked a ‘Local Spot’ which tells me that Kreuzberg has transformed itself from a cheap (read undesirable) neighbourhood in the shadow of the Berlin Wall into one of the trendiest places in Berlin. That might be true and I really don’t know enough about the different Berlin districts. It seems to miss the point of Kreuzberg as somewhere that has always had a reputation for difference, migration, art, punk and while some of the arty reputation appears to remain I wonder how gentrified it has become. Maybe one to look at when we next go to Berlin. I read somewhere (may have been Wikipedia when I was first looking for more information) that it now has the youngest population of any of the districts. I do know that the Jewish Museum is on Kreuzberg and that it is an area with a relatively high concentration of Stolpersteine – 10cm square cobble stones topped with brass plates which commemorate victims of the Nazi regime and are placed outside the last residence or workplace of the person the memorial is for.
Obviously I am going to finish the challenge but I am wondering whether real place challenges are for me. I am irritated by the lack of any real historical markers or detail on this route. And just as I found the jumps between locations discombobulating on the Cuba challenge, I am not quite sure why we are only doing 48km for this one. It suited me for the time period I wanted (even though things have now changed because of the calf niggle) but the Berlin Wall was 155km. I suppose not everyone wants to do that distance but it seems to me that it wouldn’t be too hard to highlight a section of about the length of the challenge I am doing and be explicit about the fact that it is a section and have some rationale as to why that section has been chosen. I don’t know – might just be me and my grumpy old woman ways and maybe it just really doesn’t matter, it’s just a running/walking challenge – but I am concerned about a whole load of people now thinking the Wall was 48km long and generally having a skewed view of Berlin history (newsflash, 48km wouldn’t make a big area if you had to wall all the way round it and if you just have a line, people can go round it!).
Anyway, I have also done other stuff – yesterday I did an absolutely disastrous FTP test on the bike. Functioning Threshold Pace or whatever FTP stands for. As soon as it good a little hard, I got in my head and panicked about my calf and then it all fell apart. I’ll try again next week. Today I went to the gym early and it was all good. I put some weights up even though I haven’t been for a little bit and it felt like a productive session. I halved the weight on calf raises and that was ok and the only thing I couldn’t do was the leg curl because the bar sat right on my bruised shin. I’d forgotten about that bruise until I tried that and swore. I might bike later, I might not. It’s hot. I am only blogging now because it’s something to do indoors to cool down.
That’s really all I have to say. I felt good about week 2 of the plan. I felt good about having bought the next virtual challenge (Berlin Wall) and was ready to start. I had done run one. It was all looking, well, good. And then on Thursday when I was going to do run 2 in the afternoon, I whacked my right shin and top of my foot on the edge of a raised bed trying to water some just planted mange tout. Yes gardening is dangerous. It really hurt. It sort of derailed my afternoon in the way small things that are not really a big deal at all sometimes can. I didn’t run. I told myself it didn’t matter because I could still get my two runs in easily by running Friday and Sunday. Friday came and we set off to Bolton Abbey. The beauty of a week off is that we can run in places that are often busy at the weekends during the week and avoid crowds. I set off with a 5 minute walk. Everything felt ok, no niggles. I then went into my run/walk intervals. Everything still felt ok. I wasn’t really settling into my breathing so it felt a little more laboured than it really needed to be but nothing at all to cause concern. At about 0.7 miles I felt my left calf go a little tight. It was right at the end of a running interval and it disappeared through the walk break so I didn’t think anything of it. I started the next run interval, ran for about 15 seconds and then swore loudly as my left calf screamed at me. I hopped dramatically on my right leg for a couple of hops, swore some more and then tentatively put my left foot down. I shifted my weight onto it, that seemed fine. But walking – nope. I hobbled back to the car, stopping along the way to take pictures and try not to be too grumpy. So much for running consistently and so much for my virtual Berlin Wall Challenge.
I iced and heated the calf muscle and felt sorry for myself for the rest of Friday. Saturday I worked an Applicant Visit Day and after setting up the classroom and courtroom was in quite a lot of pain in spite of painkillers. In the afternoon, we watched football and then sorted some photos and by the time I went to bed it perhaps didn’t feel quite so sore. I woke up this morning and there was no pain as I sat up and did a little body scan. I got up. I could feel some tightness but no pain. I can walk normally without pain. There is tightness and if I step backwards or at a funny angle there is a bit of pain but nothing like yesterday. I am obviously not going to risk running just yet but I did just sit on the bike and pedal for a minute and there is no pain through that motion – so I will get on the bike this afternoon and just do some sort of flat loop.
I need to think about my challenge though. I wanted to do this all running but I don’t think that will happen now. I could extend the time but I wanted to drop into the virtual Spine Race Sprint after the Berlin Wall so need to finish this month. I think maybe what I will do is upload today’s cycle manually and see how things go next week. If the challenges are about consistency and getting out then this is also sort of working – my default position with an injury is often to just to nothing, this is making me think about what I CAN do instead if I can’t run . So maybe counting a short ride is ok.
Anyway, the Challenge. I have set off from the starting point on the Conqueror App map which seems to be a random spot on the Waltersdorfer Chaussee on the wall route in-between two points of interest noted on the website Mauerspuren (German only – for an English interactive map see here). From there I have made my way 2.43km along the route onto the absolutely awe inspiring (not) A113 which has the most spectacular views (not). If you want to learn more about the Wall, the website of the Berlin Wall Foundation isn’t a bad place to start.
It’s now a nap and a cat cuddle later and I have been on the bike. Just 5km, just to check that there is no pain while riding and that it doesn’t make it worse. It was fine, nothing hurts and it was a positive 12 minutes or so to get the blood pumping a little. I have uploaded it to the challenge. That’s the good news, the bad news is that I am still on the A113 (virtually obviously) – the third picture above is where I am now. I have gone past the first piece of the wall which sits outside the Museum Treptow. Not that you would know that from the challenge because it doesn’t have these things marked on it and it doesn’t come up in the narrative. So below is the screenshot from the Mauerspuren website linked above. I have now received my first challenge ‘postcard’ which just gives a pretty basic history.
So let’s see what tomorrow brings and go from there.
It will come as no surprise to those of you who know me that the challenge went right down to the wire. I could of course have changed the finish date on the app – that seems like a thing people do but somehow that didn’t seem right. So I went into the last two days with about 28km still to do. The only answer was to use the bike. On Saturday I had a little virtual pedal round London – nice and flat and about 13ish km. And on Sunday I did another 13ish km on Watopia – another fairly flat route. I actually enjoyed the rides. I didn’t really push, I just sort of pootled around really. I still can’t quite get over how much of a puddle I turn into on the bike even when I don’t feel like I am working that hard. Why? Anyway, I finished the bike with just under 2km left to do. I deliberately finished short on the bike – for two reasons. First, I still had a run to do on the Week 1 Plan. If I had finished the challenge on the bike, I might have decided that doing so was enough and it really didn’t matter if I didn’t do my third run. But I do want to run more consistently so I needed to do my third run. Second, I started the challenge to help with consistency and when I started it I knew I would use the bike a bit but it was mostly about running so somehow finishing on a run was important to me. And it worked, I got out for the run, I enjoyed it and am still feeling a little smug about biking and running yesterday. The run was good – I did got mostly downhill but actually the running segments felt a little less clunky that they have, not quite fluid but certainly better.
Doing big chunks of the challenge at once means there were some big jumps though. I sort of bypassed Viñales almost completely and landed in Havana without fanfare or even gentle introduction. That’s ok though – I still spent time looking back at photos.
ViñalesViñalesViñales
Can we talk about pineapples for a second – I had never given much thought to how they grow but if you had asked me, my answer would not have reflected reality. They do not grow from trees. I don’t know why I assumed they would. I also always assumed I wasn’t that keen on pineapple but freshly harvested pineapple – game changer. We went to Viñales towards the end of the trip, sort of on our way back to Havana. It was a hot day. The pineapple stop was welcome for a brief moment in the shade of a hut and the sweetest juiciest pineapple I have ever had. We bought some coffee beans from the farmer, too. Cuba is where I learned to drink my coffee black. Initially the coffee always tasted fairly awful – we were putting milk in it. But quickly we noticed that most Cubans were not so we tried the coffee without milk and it was so much better. I never went back to adding milk after we got home and I also turned into a proper coffee snob. Of course we also saw the traditional methods of growing and drying tobacco and rolling cigars. I do remember at this point being utterly fed up with a couple of people in our group. I remember a very posh woman from Kensington (yes, Kensington, never just London) who still wasn’t quite sure whether or not our tour guide was joking in his response to her question after a stop at a church: ‘What happened to all the nuns’ when he said ‘We killed them all in the revolution’. She’d pissed me off at one of the dinners by complaining that more dishes were needed. There was plenty of food but the family had only recently started the business so there were literally no more dishes – just one big rice bowl that kept being re-filled. All that was required was a tiny tiny smidge of patience. She didn’t seem to understand and went on about the need for education to lift the country out of poverty… I had given up trying to argue but I was irritated that even after nearly 2 weeks in Cuba she still didn’t really get it. I think I was pretty rude to her.
Anyway, It was hot. We stopped briefly to watch a local baseball game. I had always associated baseball with the US and was interested to hear more about it as a popular sport in Cuba. Then it was back on the bus and onwards. So then, Havana. I have photos from the start and end of the trip. I have really happy memories of Havana. I remember it as a city full of life and kindness. I remember warm sun, sea, impressive buildings and nature reclaiming old falling down ones – just one of the many contradictions and juxtaposition the country, but Havana in particular offered. I remember impressive home made wiring and makeshift repairs, I remember people wanting to chat, people proud of their city and wanting to share. I remember feeling welcomed. Kath and I explored a fair bit both before we met the rest of the tour group and then in the free time in the afternoon/evening. I don’t really know what to say about it now. I am sure my memories are the sort of memories you have of an overall really special holiday. They are coloured by the passage of time and mediated through things that have happened since. What remains is a feeling more so than the recall of specific events. And it is that feeling and the sense of the place, the fact that through connections and the wonderful ways of the universe, that trip, Cuba, will always be special, that makes me feel current events so deeply. Since I last wrote, US Congress has warned the Orange One to rule out a takeover but there are no real signs that things are getting better any time soon. And if they are not getting better, then they are getting worse for Cubans.
HavanaHavana Panorama 2Havana 2Havana
So anyway, yeah, this was a running blog wasn’t it… So the question is, did the virtual challenge help me at all. Well I think the answer is yes. It made me get out and start, then it made me keep going and do something. It made me get my backside out and finish it. Without the challenge I would undoubtedly have moved less. I am a bit irritated by the big random jumps from place to place – but I guess that makes sense – if you don’t do that, you can’t cover the key spots in 70ish miles. It just feels a bit discombobulating. Maybe for real places, I want real distances. I think it helped that I chose Cuba – it was something I wanted to take time to think about, to look back on, to learn more and the Challenge and this blog alongside it also provided some space to do that and to feel all the stuff that comes with it. Anyway, once the challenge has finished you just click a button to claim your medal, confirm address and that’s it. Mine arrived really quickly and it’s lovely. You can also do challenges without getting the medal at the end. And maybe that is a sensible way forward – although for now I continue to be a medal whore. I want the brain tingles of holding the physical thing.
As soon as I finished that challenge I started thinking about whether I wanted to do another one. I deliberately didn’t do it immediately – it’s easy to rush in and get caught up in the excitement. I wanted to think about why I would do it. What would I hope to achieve. I thought about it and I think it is currently a good way of cajoling my brain along this running journey. I need action. I am not motivated at all but I also know that motivation follows action so it will come as long as I can get my arse out. So the plan is this: Berlin Wall 30 mile challenge starting tomorrow and to be completed by the end of May with running only. No bike in this one (that reminds me, I need to change the automatic upload to the challenge). It’s very doable but given recent form, it’s also a real challenge… and I might even share some Berlin pictures from our trips.
Oh and I did the first run of week 2 today. The run was fine. The dash for the toilet at the end could have gone either way but thankfully my dignity is intact.
Sort of – and only for running, not to change the world sadly. So yesterday I wrote about my inability to make decisions when it comes to running. I can’t even decide on a training plan. Brains can be funny things, can’t they. A plan would definitely help me get out and tick things off the list because having a plan means fewer decisions need to be made at the point of running or while running, that’s good. However, deciding on a plan is still a decision that needs making. And I just somehow didn’t want to engage with making that decision. So Kath made it for me. She came up with a plan that is based on time on feet and not distance. It’s essentially a half marathon plan and it is very gentle. It has no set miles in at all. It is all about time. I was skeptical. How do I tick off the miles when there are no miles on the plan. How do I know I can run far enough? But I had been procrastinating about not running for a while already and I needed something to kick me out the door so why not try. It didn’t solve the problem about where to run but Kath gave me a suggestion for that, too. I didn’t like the suggestions so said I would go a different way – there you go, sometimes I just need to be told what to do so I can decide to not do that and do something else instead.
So the plan for week one is to walk 5 minutes, then do 12 minutes of run/walk intervals and walk for 10 minutes. The original plan had the intervals at 30 seconds walk and 90 seconds walk 6 times but that seemed too easy. Instead I did 12 x 30/30. It was fine. I also walked for slightly longer at the end just to get home. The run was fine. Not as easy as I would like to pretend but absolutely doable. My brain liked this plan. It was more like the bike where I don’t have to make decisions. Of course I still had to decide to start running again at the relevant beep but because I knew I was doing 12 runs, it was just about ticking them off. The goal was not the distance, the goal was to tick off 12 thirty second runs. When I have a distance goal, it is much easier for my brain to justify inserting an additional walk because as long as I cover the distance, that’s fine. Distance based plans seem to make it easier for my brain to give in and not do hard much more easily than wen I have x number of runs to complete. So yeah, this might work for a bit – at least until my brain comes up with some way to cheat this system.
I have now also moved along the Challenge a little. I have left Cienfuegos and have arrived at the edge of Santa Clara. I remember Santa Clara better than most of the other places we visited apart from maybe Havana. And I think this must be because of how I felt, the conversations we had and a sense of being able to touch history. We stopped at the scene where an armoured train was derailed marking a significant victory for the rebels. I don’t really have any good photos of the scene other than the bulldozer that was used in the derailment.
Santa ClaraSanta ClaraSanta Clara 5
Later we headed for the Che Guevara Mausoleum which is an odd place. It’s so full of concrete and the statue of Che is slightly ridiculous in size. The weight of history rests heavy there. I don’t remember what items we saw in the museum, I remember the feeling coming out of the mausoleum, I remember the sense of almost touchable history – after all Che’s remains were only moved there in 1997 and I think the most recent internments took place in 2000. It’s an evocative place. I remember it was one of the few places our tour guide didn’t joke around and be silly. It was the only place I ever heard or saw him get sharp with some of our fellow travellers who seemed incapable of being quiet for a few minutes to pay their respects or at least let others do so. There is something about the place which commands, not respect exactly, but emotion. I remember feeling a little heavy as I got back on the bus but also grateful to have been able to see this place, bow my head and give a nod to the eternal flame. I am almost certainly getting days muddled so this may be a false memory but actually looking at the photos I think I am right, that evening, a few of us stayed up much later than the others and sat talking, perhaps a little more openly and earnestly that we had previously about all sorts of things. I don’t think it was just the bottle of Santiago Rum we shared, I think it was also something about that little group of people who, after the rest of the pretty annoying group had gone to bed, felt a shared sense of history and wanted to understand, learn and sit with it all for a bit. It wasn’t the sort of day you just ended by simply going to bed. I look back at the day now and I struggle to know what to think. Cuban politics is complicated and I don’t know nearly enough to write about this. In the meantime the US continues to threaten Cuba, the blockades continue and people suffer. And for what exactly? I am grateful I had that day in Santa Clara where I could stretch out my hand and touch history. It’s a day that reminds me to sit with the heaviness, to sit with discomfort and contradictions, to accept that life and with it politics is complicated and contested and to pause to think about what is worth fighting for and what I am prepared to be complicit in.
really (not) a runner 