Pumpkin Trails

Jess GuthLeave a comment

Darling Mortals, come with me, if you dare, as I take you on the Halloween adventure that is the Bolton Abbey Pumpkin trail. Once through these gates, there’s no turning back, you are bound to complete the harrowing mile by my side, see the frightening sights and hear the horrible sounds. And should you make it to the end, well then you get to do it all again – but in reverse and worse because I’ll be a mile more tired, a mile more sweaty and a mile more huffy and puffy. So. Enter. If you are brave enough.

Selfie of my head and shoulders in front to ominous looking Halloween themed gates leading up a woodland path

Our journey begins up a frightful slope. It’s victims rest, in peace or otherwise, at the bottom. Or maybe it was the toadstools that finished them off or possibly the potions further up. I beckon Bramble to come join me on my run. Afterall, every witch needs her sidekick and there is not black cat to be seen. Bramble however doesn’t seem keen to leave her grave and as my pathetic untrained human lungs struggle to do their job up the slope, I begin to see why. The potions cabinet, while well placed for foolish mortals exerting themselves, offers nothing of use. No oxygen, nothing that suggests a sugary gel. If it’s something to slow down a rival you’re looking for though, it might be worth a longer stop. I have only just started so lingering is out of the question, though much desired . Maybe when I return, I can sit with Bramble for a while.

Onwards my travellers, we must fly. Well, actually that would be cheating. So we park the broomstick here. The downhill was fun while it lasted, it felt a bit like flying, just slower and more, well, grounded. I wondered where I’d put my hat. I am that age now where finding things in weird places is normal. But its too big and cumbersome for running and it might fall over my eyes. I shall leave it there and summon it later. And Alas, this trail teases with modes of transport. But no wings for me today. I vowed to make it through under my own steam. Yes, hm, steam. Is that what is burning in my lungs? And are we sure flying would be cheating? Seems unnecessary for my legs to have to work this hard when we could just… no. Onwards.

We must leave temptation behind and make our way deep deep into the forest. There is no chance now of anything lurking not hearing me coming. I haven’t run for weeks and before that only sporadically. I sound like a steam train with a bad cough and I am less efficient. Loud and slow in these woods? Not safe, not safe at all. And before you know it, out comes Henry (this year, as far as I can tell, all spiders are called Henry. There’s one on our kitchen ceiling, he’s Henry, too). Henry, with his unreasonable number of legs and menacing look. Is that a scream I hear? Oh, yes, ok, that was me. And I run a little faster. Perhaps a little too much faster because the next stops presents an attractive looking resting place and I contemplate a nap. A long long long long nap.

Or maybe what we need is lunch, looks frightfully delicious. Doesn’t smell so good though. Or is that me again. No time to work it out because I run past a some parrots pretending to be pirates or maybe there are some pirates somewhere that own the parrots and they are nearby somewhere left to our imagination – but anyway, that display may be the scariest of them all because it’s weird so I run past without stopping or taking a photo. I also skip past the dancing skeletons because I do not want to dance with a skeleton. Or dance at all really, I have enough of a job on remembering how to put one foot in front of the other. But then I have run too far and my lungs, if indeed I still have any, are protesting. I stop at the bone jokes, they’re so terrible they humerus. (Sorry).

And when I can breathe again we move on to a squished scarecrow and crows and a Halloween looking archway. Did our trail designers run out of scary things? We have made it mortal friends. We got to the end of the mile. Just over a mile in fact, though barely. The scariest thing about the mile was undoubtedly the pace. It was frightfully slow, held back and distracted as I was by the trail’s demons and spirits. Oh hang on, that was just the voices in my head reminding me not to get too carried away and that a mile stop-start running while looking at displays and making up stories in your head doesn’t make you a runner.

It’s time to head back but now I am in my head. It is time to head somewhere anyway. Back? I am in my head so that turns to backwards and negative and no point and I need something else. Just because I am now doing the trail in reverse doesn’t mean I am going backwards. It doesn’t mean retreat or going back to where I started. Because that was then and when I get back it will be now. Or then. Or something. I can’t do time, it confuses me. But this wasn’t about time, it was about being in my head about not being a runner.

As I look at my options for a destination on the last display, I realise that maybe stop-start running while looking at displays and making up stories is exactly what makes me a runner. I mean if you’re not a runner it is a pretty stupid thing to do. So here’s my story of a little witch who, one Saturday morning decided enough was enough and it was time to get her sizable arse out for a run. She went somewhere where she thought she might blend in and had a good chuckle at what the humans entertained themselves and their young ones with for Halloween. The broom and the wings were impressive, she had to admit. She lingered at the broom. So big, probably fast, perhaps a little clunky in the air and not really sparkly enough.

The rest was a little gimmicky, though the eyeball soup looked yummy. She nearly stopped for some but it was positioned too close to the spiders, who seemed nice but spiders are so needy, always talking and scuttling about. Henry this and Henry that.

The running was hard going. It had been too long – what a good 300 years maybe? Bones were creaky, joints all seized up and the little witch was not at all convinced that a witch should ever feel her lungs like that. But she got to the end of the trail having captured each stop (but one, pirates and parrots for Halloween?!?) and was pleased with herself. She took in the view, not a bad place for a little rest, and then she made her way back. One foot in front of the other, running for at least a minute each time, some runs were much longer, some just felt like it but all of the running was strong and felt capable and the little witch smiled, because this, she thought, is what it feels like, when your body is on its way to being able to do things. It can do hard things and then those hard things get easier. So the little witch ran all the way back to the car park, got changed and went home happy. Maybe she drove, but maybe she flew. And maybe I am a runner or maybe I cheated and flew.

Challenges Everywhere and a Plan

Jess GuthLeave a comment

I finished the Berlin Wall challenge at the end of May. I resorted to cycling much more than I wanted to because of the calf niggle. That now seems behind me. I think because the challenge didn’t quite go to plan and I was grumpy about not doing the miles just running or walking as I had planned, I sort of lost interest – coupled with the fact that I was irritated by the ‘postcards’ and place information given, I wasn’t all that inspired. Having said that, the medal is cool. And actually, the challenge did its thing. Without it, I doubt I would have got on the bike. Anyway, I wanted to finish itin May because in June I wanted to do the Virtual Spine Race Sprint. It’s 43 miles virtually on the Spine route starting in Edale and finishing in Hebden Bridge. I like the idea of watching my own dot moving along the route having watched so many dots move along the Pennine Way both in the winter and summer edition.

I have had a slow start but a controlled and planned start. I have been playing with new plans, new ways to do couch to 5k and then build from that for ages now, years literally. And it’s not really working. I don’t like them. I get so far and then lose interest. It seems silly to just keep doing that and think something will change. So I have gone back to what I know does work. This week I started the runDinsey Dopey Plan. The number of weeks left for the Great North Run actually works really well with the plan starting now and after that I’ll look at what’s next and work out where in the plan to drop back to to have a rest and then build again.

The first week has gone ok. I tried out some of the suggested drills on Tuesday’s run and then some quarter mile segments trying out different run/walk ratios. I was faster doing 15/15 seconds but felt a lot stronger doing 30/30. On Thursday I went after work. I was so tired – in fact I was too tired to do anything other than run. It may not have been the best idea to try a magic mile but I thought I might as well set a benchmark. I initially thought I would run the mile in quarter of a mile segments with a short walk break in the transition from one to the next. But it turns out that tired plus hay fever plus not having done much running at all, means that that was too ambitious. I walked more than I planned, then lost the battle in my head and nearly gave up, then rallied and finished. It ended up being a 13.58 mile on the flat. Oh well. The long ‘run’ today was a walk up to Keighley Gate and back down. It feels a bit like cheating in spite of the instructions being clear about it being perfectly acceptable to walk the full distance. Anyway, I am 13.5 miles into the virtual Spine so have navigated Kinder Scout and am slowly making progress towards Torside. Maybe one day I will actually go do bits of the pennine way and see these places for real. For now, I am looking at them on the OS map and they seem familiar just from previous dot watching experiences.

Finishing the Sprint distance is going to be a challenge, and I am not counting cycling this time, Everything is running or walking. I have a tendency to not get out when things get busy at work – that needs to stop and I am hoping that my slight dot watching obsession and cheering dots on a map onwards will translate into wanting to see my own dot move along and get this done. I am not currently last – which is a new experience lately!

I had 3 challenge codes for conqueror virtual challenges and was wondering what to do with them, what is next. Well, we have booked an adventure for this time next year. We are doing a tour in China so I used one code to sign up to a long distance challenge to try and complete over the next 50 weeks – running and walking for now but if it looks like I am going to be too far off, I may need to add some bike. I am doing the Pandas of China challenge and Kath signed up for the Great Wall challenge. It feels like a nice thing to do to celebrate and get ready for the adventure.

As the medal whore in me seems to be quite happy with these challenges and I am managing to be more consistent when I have a medal to work towards, I am now looking at what challenge to go for in July? Help me out. Lake District? Space Exploration? Great Barrier Reef? Niagara Falls? Help me decide. The distances vary so for some I would need to include cycling if I am going to do it in a month.

Next week looks like this: One run which includes race day practice and some drills; one run which includes some hill work and my long run – 4 miles on the plan. I also want to get on the bike at least once and do 2 strength sessions. One of them in the gym if I can’t manage both. I had got really good at stretching and yoga and that slipped a bit so far this month. I will try and start the week on the yoga mat and set the tone. I’ll let you know how I get on.

A few little jogs and all is well

Jess Guth1 Comment

I love my random additional days off! There are a couple of bank holidays where we also get the Tuesday off from work and there is always something really nice about that additional day. It feels a bit indulgent in a way annual leave doesn’t. The plan for today was just to try out the calf a bit. Nothing silly but after yesterday’s gym session all is still well and it seems like the obvious next step is to see how it fairs out in the wild. So we went to Bolton Abbey. Kath went off on her 5 mile loop and my plan was to walk a mile which would take me almost to the Strid and then on the way back I would throw in a few little jogs to see how everything feels. The loop went like this:

  • Ooh it’s lovely and cool under these trees
  • Squirrel!
  • Bye Kath as I waved her off on her run
  • Hm, high path or low path? High path
  • Wild garlic smells lush
  • What’s that? Oh just a pigeon
  • Everything feels ok, good
  • Oh person, ‘hello’. No hello? Rude
  • Oh I am at the Strid already. Lovely. That was nice. Should I run now?
  • Little jog, weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee downhill
  • Ok nothing hurts, did my knee just niggle? Nah, that was a brain niggle not a knee niggle
  • Ok, back we go. Little jog, body scan, all good
  • Slope, walk. But I could try and run. Stop it, be sensible!
  • Weeeeeeeee down the slope and on a bit. Ok all good
  • It’s kinda hot
  • My eyebrows are sweaty
  • Little run, all good. Keep going to that tree. No not that one, the other one. Which one? You know. Do I? Oh slope, walk
  • And run down the hill and keep going, keep going, yes it’s hot, keep going. Fuck that’s a big dog. Walk
  • ‘ Hi dog’ (and human). Aw friendly. That’s nice. Walk the hill though
  • And last little run down the slope to the Cavendish Pavilion. Ooh is that tightness? Niggle? Brain niggle or real niggle?
  • Doesn’t matter. I am out of the wood, too hot to run in full sun. Walk to car
  • Grab go bag with change of clothes, gym towel and deodorant and head for toilets
  • Thank goodness I am getting changed because these lycra pants are not coming back up after having a pee. Also, I think I have an actual puddle in my bra.
  • Good outing that. Happy

So that’s another 3.7km added to the Berlin Wall virtual challenge. Well, I continued along the road I was on and then turned right where I will have walked along a stretch planted with 45 cherry trees as a memorial. I continued along the Wall route past more remnants, a tower and then I hit the river Spree. The river also acted as a physical border with underwater barriers. There is a lot online about this if you are interested and on the Mauerspuren website you can see the various locations. After crossing the river I will have come to the East Side Gallery. We have been to that Gallery – the longest Open Air gallery in the world and the longest continuous stretch of Wall remaining. The 1.3km of that stretch will have taken a third of my run/walk today and I am sure that if I was doing it for real, I would have lingered. We probably have photos but what you can see online is probably better. After that I went onwards along the route, past more bits of wall. I’ll soon head left over the river again but that’s for next time.

Bitchy Calf Muscles and the Virtual Berlin Wall Challenge

Jess GuthLeave a comment

I had to rethink my Berlin Wall Challenge. Hmph. Silly calf muscle. I think it is probably getting better now but it was pretty painful for a good few days. I tried to go for a walk a couple of times but going up even the slights slope hurt. Cycling was pain free but I didn’t want to cycle, I wanted to run. But anyway, I want to complete the challenge this month because I have other plans for June!

I have counted walking and biking – not that this has got me all that far – I still have about 30km to go over the next week. But anyway, where am I? Well I think last time I had just gone past the piece of the Wall outside the Museum Treptow. I called it the first piece I passed but actually I missed a whole stretch that runs along side the lovely A113. You can see where exactly and also some good pictures on the Mauerspuren website here. Eventually the challenge route left the A113 and I must have magically jumped from the motorway across to a footpath along a canal the name of which I looked up and have forgotten again. Then, not long after that I turned right along another bit of canal. About halfway along the stretch I did along that canal, I will have passed the monument to the last victim of the Wall Chris Gueffroy. He was shot dead on the 5th February 1989 trying to cross into West Berlin. Just think about that for a second. 1989.

A little after that I will have crossed the canal and headed left. Mauerspuren tells me there are more bits of Wall to be seen and as I make my way through this residential (I think) area, there are also concrete posts to which barbed wire will have been attached. If I ventured off the main route a little I would be able to see another bit of Wall that is outside the townhall in Treptow. A little further along you can see a series of stone slabs marking the border as well as the street lighting that would have illuminated the border zone. After more bits of Wall I will have turned left and then right to find myself on Harzer Strasse, which is where I currently am with this view.

From the challenge itself you wouldn’t know about the bits of wall or other left overs from the physical border. You wouldn’t know about the monument along the canal. In fact, so far I have had one ‘postcard’ which tells me Berlin is a thriving City of 3.8 million people and gives a very superficial account of Germany being divided into East and West after World War 2. In fact you’d get a sense of the Wall and the Death strip that was nomansland as something vaguely Hollywood. The postcard talks of daring escapes. I’m not keen on the positioning and writing in this. It feels glamourised and the point sort of missed.

I also unlocked a ‘Local Spot’ which tells me that Kreuzberg has transformed itself from a cheap (read undesirable) neighbourhood in the shadow of the Berlin Wall into one of the trendiest places in Berlin. That might be true and I really don’t know enough about the different Berlin districts. It seems to miss the point of Kreuzberg as somewhere that has always had a reputation for difference, migration, art, punk and while some of the arty reputation appears to remain I wonder how gentrified it has become. Maybe one to look at when we next go to Berlin. I read somewhere (may have been Wikipedia when I was first looking for more information) that it now has the youngest population of any of the districts. I do know that the Jewish Museum is on Kreuzberg and that it is an area with a relatively high concentration of Stolpersteine – 10cm square cobble stones topped with brass plates which commemorate victims of the Nazi regime and are placed outside the last residence or workplace of the person the memorial is for.

Obviously I am going to finish the challenge but I am wondering whether real place challenges are for me. I am irritated by the lack of any real historical markers or detail on this route. And just as I found the jumps between locations discombobulating on the Cuba challenge, I am not quite sure why we are only doing 48km for this one. It suited me for the time period I wanted (even though things have now changed because of the calf niggle) but the Berlin Wall was 155km. I suppose not everyone wants to do that distance but it seems to me that it wouldn’t be too hard to highlight a section of about the length of the challenge I am doing and be explicit about the fact that it is a section and have some rationale as to why that section has been chosen. I don’t know – might just be me and my grumpy old woman ways and maybe it just really doesn’t matter, it’s just a running/walking challenge – but I am concerned about a whole load of people now thinking the Wall was 48km long and generally having a skewed view of Berlin history (newsflash, 48km wouldn’t make a big area if you had to wall all the way round it and if you just have a line, people can go round it!).

Anyway, I have also done other stuff – yesterday I did an absolutely disastrous FTP test on the bike. Functioning Threshold Pace or whatever FTP stands for. As soon as it good a little hard, I got in my head and panicked about my calf and then it all fell apart. I’ll try again next week. Today I went to the gym early and it was all good. I put some weights up even though I haven’t been for a little bit and it felt like a productive session. I halved the weight on calf raises and that was ok and the only thing I couldn’t do was the leg curl because the bar sat right on my bruised shin. I’d forgotten about that bruise until I tried that and swore. I might bike later, I might not. It’s hot. I am only blogging now because it’s something to do indoors to cool down.

Happy Bank Holiday Monday.

FFS

Jess GuthLeave a comment

That’s really all I have to say. I felt good about week 2 of the plan. I felt good about having bought the next virtual challenge (Berlin Wall) and was ready to start. I had done run one. It was all looking, well, good. And then on Thursday when I was going to do run 2 in the afternoon, I whacked my right shin and top of my foot on the edge of a raised bed trying to water some just planted mange tout. Yes gardening is dangerous. It really hurt. It sort of derailed my afternoon in the way small things that are not really a big deal at all sometimes can. I didn’t run. I told myself it didn’t matter because I could still get my two runs in easily by running Friday and Sunday. Friday came and we set off to Bolton Abbey. The beauty of a week off is that we can run in places that are often busy at the weekends during the week and avoid crowds. I set off with a 5 minute walk. Everything felt ok, no niggles. I then went into my run/walk intervals. Everything still felt ok. I wasn’t really settling into my breathing so it felt a little more laboured than it really needed to be but nothing at all to cause concern. At about 0.7 miles I felt my left calf go a little tight. It was right at the end of a running interval and it disappeared through the walk break so I didn’t think anything of it. I started the next run interval, ran for about 15 seconds and then swore loudly as my left calf screamed at me. I hopped dramatically on my right leg for a couple of hops, swore some more and then tentatively put my left foot down. I shifted my weight onto it, that seemed fine. But walking – nope. I hobbled back to the car, stopping along the way to take pictures and try not to be too grumpy. So much for running consistently and so much for my virtual Berlin Wall Challenge.

I iced and heated the calf muscle and felt sorry for myself for the rest of Friday. Saturday I worked an Applicant Visit Day and after setting up the classroom and courtroom was in quite a lot of pain in spite of painkillers. In the afternoon, we watched football and then sorted some photos and by the time I went to bed it perhaps didn’t feel quite so sore. I woke up this morning and there was no pain as I sat up and did a little body scan. I got up. I could feel some tightness but no pain. I can walk normally without pain. There is tightness and if I step backwards or at a funny angle there is a bit of pain but nothing like yesterday. I am obviously not going to risk running just yet but I did just sit on the bike and pedal for a minute and there is no pain through that motion – so I will get on the bike this afternoon and just do some sort of flat loop.

I need to think about my challenge though. I wanted to do this all running but I don’t think that will happen now. I could extend the time but I wanted to drop into the virtual Spine Race Sprint after the Berlin Wall so need to finish this month. I think maybe what I will do is upload today’s cycle manually and see how things go next week. If the challenges are about consistency and getting out then this is also sort of working – my default position with an injury is often to just to nothing, this is making me think about what I CAN do instead if I can’t run . So maybe counting a short ride is ok.

Anyway, the Challenge. I have set off from the starting point on the Conqueror App map which seems to be a random spot on the Waltersdorfer Chaussee on the wall route in-between two points of interest noted on the website Mauerspuren (German only – for an English interactive map see here). From there I have made my way 2.43km along the route onto the absolutely awe inspiring (not) A113 which has the most spectacular views (not). If you want to learn more about the Wall, the website of the Berlin Wall Foundation isn’t a bad place to start.

It’s now a nap and a cat cuddle later and I have been on the bike. Just 5km, just to check that there is no pain while riding and that it doesn’t make it worse. It was fine, nothing hurts and it was a positive 12 minutes or so to get the blood pumping a little. I have uploaded it to the challenge. That’s the good news, the bad news is that I am still on the A113 (virtually obviously) – the third picture above is where I am now. I have gone past the first piece of the wall which sits outside the Museum Treptow. Not that you would know that from the challenge because it doesn’t have these things marked on it and it doesn’t come up in the narrative. So below is the screenshot from the Mauerspuren website linked above. I have now received my first challenge ‘postcard’ which just gives a pretty basic history.

So let’s see what tomorrow brings and go from there.