Category: Training

17 Miles of Awesome…

Jess Guth5 Comments

… well I might be exaggerating a little there but in the context of today having completed a 17 mile run/walk feels pretty awesome. This morning I went to the doctors and my anxiety and depression indicators on a mood questionnaire are through the roof. I am signed off work until at least 14th December. I have very mixed feelings about being off work but that’s not what this blog is about – the doctor was supportive of the running though so – onwards.

So Kath rearranged her work commitments to make time for a long run this afternoon. We couldn’t do our planned 17 mile route because some of it is still under water and we couldn’t get a train to the start of it because they were all cancelled because of flooding. So, a there and back it was then.

We walked down the hill to the canal and then started our 2 minute running intervals with 1 minute walk breaks. I’d decided last minute to ask Kath to try this with me because I was struggling with the 2 minute runs and 30 second walk intervals. We set off. For the first time I was wearing long sleeves and a t-shirt over the top and my jacket. After a couple of runs I took the jacket off. Then onwards. I felt fine. All was good, the canal was showing its autumn glory. We seemed to get to Bingley and then Saltaire quite quickly. 2 minute runs with 1 minute walks seemed to work. I could keep the the walks really strong and still recover quite a lot. At just about 5.5 miles we shared a porridge bar and had some water. As we got past 6 miles we were in unchartered territory on the canal. Neither of us had ever walked along that stretch. We kept going for another 2 and a bit miles along. I still felt fine but I had slowed a little.

At just before 8 miles the garmin had a wobble – it had run out of space for data and re-set itself. We were at that point doing a roughly 12.45 minutes per mile pace. At around 9.5 miles my hip started to niggle. Kath suggested we just walk a little and get ourselves sorted. We walked fast for maybe 8-10 minutes or so and then we tried a 2 minute run again. I can’t say it was comfortable but it was ok. I was sort of excited that I had made it to 10 miles before any real niggles but also a little worried that there were another 7 miles to go.

We walked a bit  – making an effort to stride out – and then kept putting in little runs for 2 minutes. We got to Bingley and then walked up the slopes at the 5 Rise Locks. I was amazed that I still felt quite positive and was still enjoying it inspite of little niggles in my right hip and both calf muscles. We were at Crossflatts  – wow, this was home territory – I have run this stretch 10s of times. We ran a bit – kept going beyond the 2 minutes until we came to the next road. We crossed the road and kept going (it was getting a bit dark now but I didn’t mind because this stretch of the canal is very familiar), after a little walk we managed another 5-6 minute run and then another walk. Then we hit the last bridge before home and as soon as we emerged from under that we ran – we just kept plodding, one foot in front of the other until we hit the bridge that signals our turn off the canal and up the hill to home. We had done about 16.5 miles and instead of running on decided to make the walk up the hill home part of the 17 miles. The walk uphill was horrible and quite painful but that didn’t detract from the fact that we had actually just managed 3 roughly 5 minute runs with short walks inbetween at the end of a long run/walk. No dragging my butt along, no tears, no meltdowns, no tantrums. Just a strong finish. It took almost exactly 4 hours – Just over 14 minutes per mile pace – slow, yes, obviously, this is me – but well within Disney Pace and without that bloody hill, I could have kept going.

We did 10 minutes of yoga for post-run, had a bath and leftover squash and spinach lasagne and veggies. I’m ok, tired but ok. I’m going to bed now in the hope that being physically tired will let me rest and get some good quality sleep, at least for a little while.

Oh and I ‘forgot’ (I didn’t forget, I just didn’t want to know) to get on the scales yesterday so hopped on today. I have lost about half a pound

Goal 4: Put one foot in front of the other – or the one where I show you my short run loop

Jess Guth2 Comments

Earlier today I posted that I was about to go for a run. Well I managed to get out the door but to be honest it was all a bit much. I didn’t feel like I could run really. I just wanted to turn round and come back in. The sheep needed feeding though and I’d already said to Kath that I’d go. So, in an effort to make this less about running and more about being out and having fun I took my phone to take pictures of our short run loop. It’s about 4 miles from front door to front door but we don’t run the last half mile – you’ll see why later and it’s a nice warm down. So, come with me…

We start on our road, run to the end and turn left. It’s a nice gentle downhill to start off with. When we started running at the start of the year I could barely make it to the end of our road without my heart rate going through the roof and my legs feeling like led. It took a little longer for me to be able to run to the end of the next road even though it’s all downhill.

At the end of the road we turn right and hit the first hill. It took me ages to be able to run up it. Not sure the pictures really show it that well but it’s a steady pull  with a brief flat section and a few steeper metres at the end before another left turn

Then a short downhill which flattens out as we run the last residential street for a while. We then join a track which takes us past our sheep, into and through a little wood and down the golf course.

Going this way round I like the little slope that drops us onto the track – it’s short so not scary and that feeling of your legs being faster than the rest of you reminds me of being a kid. It’s always nice to run past the sheep and see if they are ok. We didn’t run past today, we stopped and fed them – there’s 8 in this field.

When we combine feeding sheep with a run we walk the bit inbetween fields. I didn’t take a picture of field 2 today – that’s where we currently have 3 ram lambs. In field 3 we have 6 ewe lambs and one of our bottle fed ewes we are not lambing next year. The views are pretty stunning on this stretch.

Immediately after the sheep field comes my nemesis – a slope that doesn’t look like much and yet it gets me every time. It is narrow, muddy and feels so so much steeper than it looks. At the top it opens out in the wood and that is one of the most welcome sights ever on this loop. It’s a few steps on the flat and then down the golf course with stunning views (which I haven’t really captured – instead focusing on the path!). Once down the golf course we cross the car park and head down the last little bit of track to the Leeds Liverpool canal.

The rest of the run is flat now  – all along the canal. We turn round at the bridge above (apologies about the silly baseball cap back to front pic – it kept blowing off when on properly) and head back in the direction we came from.

I love the canal views – they change with the seaons and are always interesting. Today, Kath spotted a kingfisher in a tree on the otherside of the canal. I coudln’t spot it but then it flew off – streak of colour flying low above the water. We walked a bit to see if we could sport it again but it was gone. We saw it again further along and again stopped to see if we could see where it had gone but gone it had.

The run finishes at the next canal bridge or sometimes further along the canal depending on our pace. From that canal bridge we walk home – one of the reasons we don’t run home are the hills:

Once up this hill we are back on the route where we started – just a few more steps and then a left turn back into the road that was the first downhill on the way out – now it’s uphill and that gentle slope feels rather less gentle. The pub on the left is always tempting and when we’re not in serious training anymore I reckon we might make that the end point and have a pint and packet of crisps as a treat after a long run!

And then we are home.

It was again nice to be out and my brain functioned a bit better during and immediately after the run. I feel like I achieved something at least today. It was also nice to see that even with our stops to find the kingfisher we were still at 13.5 minute per mile pace so when we’re out there we are within pace – all we need to do is get out there! One foot in front of the other…

Goal 3: Get out the door

Jess GuthLeave a comment

It may not look like it to anyone watching or looking in but I’m having a full blown fight with my black labrador puppy – it’s screaming at me and I am being quietly determined if a little shakey and scared. The little bitch is full of energy this morning – my energy and I want it back. My head is full and cluttered and noisy – I can’t really focus on anything. I have got up off the sofa to do something at least twice today and in the time it took me to stand up I’ve forgotten what it was I was doing. Kath was talking to me and I just heard words but my brain wouldn’t process them. I don’t know what she said. Not being able to think clearly is really uncomfortable for me. I’m an academic, my life is about thinking clearly.

I managed to go to sleep quite quickly last night but I woke up at 2am. I was awake for ages then. Eventually I fell asleep again. When I woke up at 8ish I kept dozing on an off putting off the inevitable ‘I have to get up now’. One step at a time… remember. If it was all too much I could always go back to bed. Goal one is just getting out of bed, doesn’t matter for how long and anyway I needed to pee. I got up. Kath made me coffee and a bagle and I sat on the sofa – my designated safe space. I opened emails and didn’t shut them again immediately. I dealt with a few. And breathe. I cried a bit.

I checked Facebook and Twitter – there were more lovely messages. I cried more. I played candy crush and soda crush and completed a level I’d been stuck on for months. I cried again. I somehow miss that level – I’d stopped playing to complete it, I played it for some odd sense of familiarity – gone now. I had mug of hot water. Then I had this sudden need for order and planning and being on control of absolutely everything. So I tried to remember what we had agreed about our training last night. We went over the training plan and worked out what we had missed and therefore how far behind we were. It’s not actually that bad and we have a plan, a sensible plan not a reckless plan, to get back on track. I remembered – my brain does still function a bit. I’m not sharing the revised plan because that feel like an awful lot of pressure. Let me see how I go for a few days.

Next I booked our train tickets to and from London for our Disney trip and for 2 December work trips (London and Nottingham) – very carefully and with triple checking. There, achieved something.

Goal 2: Get dressed in running gear. I went upstairs for no particular reason, I just found myself there. ‘I’m here, I might as well get dressed’, I thought. I put running gear on. Then I returned to the sofa. So where’s the puppy in all of this? Well it is rolling around in a sunny patch on the floor laughing hysterically at me. As I ate the bagle with peanut butter it mocked me about calories etc; as I dealt with the emails it just sat there smirking waiting for a mistake, as I booked the train tickets my head was so full of noise I worried about booking the wrong date or the wrong times… As I got dressed in my running gear the pup’s giggles were deafening. I don’t have the energy to shout back or make it be quiet. All I can do is take one step at a time. It screams at me and I let it, I shout back by doing something I don’t think I can. I have got up and I have got dressed…

…and now, I am going for a run

Black dogs, running and the kindness of strangers

Jess Guth3 Comments

My black puppy can drive and it has just run me over with a truck. It’s sitting there all smug looking down on me ‘ha, you thought you were ok, didn’t you? You thought you were back on track and coping, didn’t you? You actually thought you were in control and slowly moving in the right direction, didn’t you? Didn’t you? Wrong!’ Depression’s a bitch – a small, black, fat labrador bitch in my case. At least the pup is female today, I’m not sure it always is – she’s got that icey voice, like fingernails on a chalkboard. She got me.

Yesterday was awful. I sat on the sofa for hours staring at my computer screen with tears streaming down my face. No real reason. I felt like I physically couldn’t move off the sofa, like there was an invisible cage holding me there. I tried to cheer myself up by looking at stuff for our January holiday, mapping out Disney itineraries and looking at the runDisney site to try and get excited about our adventure. I just cried more. Kath dragged me out to go see our sheep. I walked the mile there and the mile back putting one foot in front of the other. I watched our sheep, I smiled, I giggled at the ewe lambs getting all tangled trying to get to the  food but I didn’t really feel like I was there.

I went to bed, I slept a bit, I was awake a lot and then I couldn’t get up. I did eventually and sat on the sofa with my laptop. The f-ing bitch got me good and proper this time. I realised I was crying again. I opened my emails and closed them again – couldn’t face them. I opened the virtual learning environment to provide feedback on some work for my students – I stared at a few submissions but didn’t know what to say. My thoughts turned to running. ‘I could go for a run, that might help me feel better’ I thought. ‘hahahaha – funny. You CAN’T run’ came the instant reply from the puppy. I brought up the runDisney site and started searching for information on how to pull out of the race. ‘Good Girl!’ said the pup ‘Best not embarrass yourself’.

I sat for a bit and then did two things I didn’t think I’d do – I agreed to speak to a doctor. The last time I spoke to a doctor about mental health issues, the issue of exercise was raised and I mentioned running (this must have been not long after my friend Rachel died and we had started training for our first half marathon in 2012) I was told that I was far too heavy for running. That message has been repeated by every doctor I have seen since.They all say lose weight first. Anyway, I have an appointment for Monday. The second thing I did was post on a closed Facebook Group geared towards the Walt Disney World Marathon weekend training. I joined the group a while ago and I have found it really helpful to connect with others going through similar training programmes and having the same goals in mind. I suddenly thought that as I cannot expect much support for my running from the docs on Monday, other people in that group might have some suggestions as to how to put the puppy back in its place. I thought they might help me run through this episode of depression, they might keep me going and help me get to the start line. They might help me not quit.

I wasn’t expecting much but within minutes I had several wonderful responses, all of them telling me not to give up and all of them telling me to find another, more supportive doctor (I’d love to but they don’t seem to exist round here – is it NHS policy that anyone slightly overweight is told not to run anything above 5km?) and all of them telling me I can do this thing. The responses keep coming and they are all wonderful and it is hard to explain just how much they help. One person said she wished she could pick me up off the sofa and take me on the run she was about to start  – such a lovely gesture; another reminded me of the value of small goals and those two together made something click: I had already achieved goal one – get out of bed. Go me! Goal 2 was also within reach – goal 2 was just to get dressed in my running gear. I did that too. Then I faltered a little and went back to the sofa.

Kath was coming up to her lunch break so I told her I wanted to run. She had suggested that earlier but I’d just shaken my head and cried. We had agreed we would try and go see our sheep during her lunch break. I WANTED TO RUN. I just needed help actually leaving the house. We walked to the sheep. It didn’t feel like a fast walk, it was steady and it was roughly 17 minutes per mile I think so we probably could walk at 16 minutes which is runDisney minimum pace. I didn’t want the pressure of the garmin, I just wanted to be, so we just took my little stopwatch to have an idea of time generally. We stopped at the sheep and fed them all. All in all that took 27 minutes. Then we set off on our run. We usually run/walk following Galloway and have been doing 2 mins runs with 30 sec walks quite successfully for a bit recently. Today though we were just going to run/walk by feel. Once I got going I didn’t want to walk. Well I did, but not. The effort sort of felt real. It felt good to be running continuously at a pace that wasn’t fast but was just fast enough to make it feel hard, to make me wonder if I could sustain it for much longer, to make me focus on sustaining it and keeping going. We ran our loop without walking in 31 minutes 10 seconds and for that 31 minutes 10 seconds the fog in my brain lifted a bit. I felt a bit more like me. It took another 15 minutes to walk home (uphill) so we were actally out for nearly an hour 15 minutes.

I want to say thank you to all those people who took the time to post in response to my plea for help in the facebook group. It was the early posts that helped me make it out the door today and all the posts are amazing and supportive.I don’t know these people but we are all working towards the same challenge. There is a real sense of community there somehow that I wasn’t really expecting. I’m part of something and somehow, for my addled brain that is really important right now. We all have the same ultimate aim – crossing the marathon finish line vaguely in one piece on the 10th January 2016. We all have our demons, battles or puppies to contend with along the way and we will all help each other, through the next few weeks and during the challenge.

So yes, I am struggling, really struggling but I had a choice today – I could have done what I usually do, taken a deep breath, plastered a smile on my face and got on with the job by hiding under the duvet while insisting that I am fine or I could have asked for help to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I chose the latter. I may be suffering from a particularly nasty round of depression but I am determined to run through it and that determination comes from the kindness shown by a group of people who know nothing about me other than that I will run Disney in January and that I will cross the finish line

Thank you

Running on empty, or on too full or just running out of steam

Jess GuthLeave a comment

We were going to run 15 miles today. We didn’t. We did run though. Let me start at the beginning. It has been another stupid and stupidly busy week. Work has been relentless for both of us. We didn’t manage another run after Tuesday’s 45 minutes. Yesterday we flew out to Hamburg for my Dad’s birthday which is tomorrow. Our flight wasn’t until the afternoon so we decided to do the 5.5 mile walk as per our plan  before we set off. It was a nice walk and we stopped to feed out sheep on the way round and chatted about Disney plans and emptied our brains of work stuff. We were exhausted when we got home though. We were beginning to be a little pushed for time so we actually only walked 4.5 miles. We made up for the missing mile with a mad dash across Amterdam Schipol airport to make our connecting flight, just.

As I said I had planned a route that was 15 miles but it did involved 3 loops of the Alster. We got up at 6am, forced down about half of a porridge pot each, forced ourselves out the door and took some deep breaths. We hadn’t slept well, even a relatively quiet area in the city is noisy when you’re used to the complete silence we have at home and unfamiliar beds never make for a good night. Neither of us really wanted to go. Neither of us felt particularly bright. We walked, for about 5 minutes and then started the run. 2 minute runs, 30 second walks. The first mile and a bit was just along a residential street, then we hit the Alster an decided to go clockwise. It is quite a nice route and there were a fair few runners about.

image

There were also ducks and geese and swans, a few dogs and walkers, some people just going about their business and some very serious, and not entirely happy looking, people with two walking poles engaging in what can only be described as skiing without skis.

It was hard going. We walked a lot and plodded along at a slow trot in between. It was unusual because we were both struggling so we made the decision to turn the run into a positive and just do one loop of the Alster. By the time we had done that and got ourselves back to a cafe that looked like a good option for breakfast we’d completed 7 miles.

I don’t know why we found it so hard, maybe because we hadn’t eaten the right sort of stuff at the right times yesterday, or maybe we hadn’t drunk enough water, maybe there wasn’t a long enough gap between porridge and running or maybe we are just tired, properly tired. We have decided to rest tomorrow and then possibly do another loop on Monday and see how we feel.

image