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Double figures, doughnuts and a possible curse

Jess Guth2 Comments

We are entering what I call the pixie dust pre- Dopey Challenge phase. I have been scrolling through Dopey running groups and rolling my eyes at the ‘I can’t currently run/walk a mile, I still have time, right?’ or ‘My current pace is 24 minutes per mile over 5km, can anyone help me get faster so I can maintain the 16 minute mile required for the marathon’ type comments. You can’t tackle to Dopey Challenge on pixie dust. As Allie Bailey says on her website ‘Whoever invented “Believe – Achieve” was lying. You need to believe, do a fuck tonne of work on yourself, then achieve‘. So as I was scrolling rolling my eyes I realised that I am also in pixie dust territory. I have neither been consistent nor have I got anywhere near the distances I should be running now to get ready for Dopey. It’s time to recommit to doing the fuck tonne of work.

On Wednesday I had a random day off and it was Kath’s non working day so we set off to Bolton Abbey to run the 7 mile loop from the top car park to Barden Bridge and back. 7 hilly miles was always going to be tough so it was actually really nice to have nothing at all really to report from that run. It was uneventful and I loved it. I completely died on the last hilly bit and walked from there which was most of the last mile. We had some food at the Tea on the Green cafe and a nice afternoon. The next run was then meant to be Friday but after waking up early I then fell asleep again and somehow the day was all out of sync and I never really got going with anything.

Saturday I was at an Open Day at work and when I got back I was dehydrated and tired. But I really wanted to try and get out and try and build some consistency. The only thing I had eaten since breakfast was a doughnut that were available for us at the open day. It was yummy but it isn’t exactly prime running fuel. I had however grabbed some for Kath and her mum so I thought I could drop off a doughnut on a run. But running with a doughnut in hand wasn’t really an option so I thought I would try my running pack for an actual run. I had only ever used it for walking really which is what I bought it for. I packed the doughnut in the bag alongside the rain jacket I knew I didn’t need just to see what it was like with something in it. So I went on my 2 mile doughnut delivery run which was kind of fun and the pack worked well.

Then today was long run day. And I had a wobble about whether Dopey was really doable. So we mapped it out and then I got my sorry arse out for 10 miles. I ran the first 2 and bit miles really happy and positive. Then I watched a stupid little dog bark at ducks and as I approached it ran towards me barking. The owners were what I presume was a couple and the bloke turned to look back but made no attempt at calling the dog. I just raid ‘really? Not really on is it’ and he stepped in my path so I had to stop. He had a really creepy smirk on his face and didn’t say anything. I was seriously ready to push him in the canal. I had my bodyweight all set but there were people within sight and his wife/ girlfriend was there and then he stepped out of my way so I just kept going. The next half mile or so I was a bit freaked out by the whole thing because he was just weird. Then I settled into a happy run again. At 4 miles I could see another bloke walking a dog that was bouncy and running ahead and I just couldn’t face the idea of going past and potentially getting caught up in another bloke with dog incident. So I turned round.

Inevitably I came across the weird couple again and this time there weren’t any people within sight. I felt myself tense as I approached and the bloke said something along the lines of ‘the fat bitch again’. It wasn’t meant for me to hear and when I actually got close enough the couple made the dog sit between them at the edge of the canal. I said a pointed ‘thank you’ as I went past and decided that he’d really called me a fat witch and that I could therefore curse him. I spent another half mile or so wishing him fun things like really itchy flea bites in places he can’t reach. I’m nice like that. Then I settled in again and started to think about making the distance given that I had turned round a mile early. I decided to just keep going along the canal for an additional mile, turn round and then head up the hill as planned. I did briefly consider not doing the full ten but I really wanted the double figures. It felt like getting into double figures today was the test for whether Dopey is on or not. So I got my earphones out of my pocket, plugged them into my phone and hoped that some music would carry me through. It helped.

As I headed along and hit 8 miles and the turnaround point, I was in quite a busy stretch with lots of people walking. I decided to keep going on and do a loop instead of staying on the flat of the canal for an out and back because I didn’t want to get tangled in all of the people I had just passed going one way. I continued my run/walk until about 8.5 miles and then walked up the hill into Morton and then picked up the run/walk again for the last mile, although I had to add some walks on the uphill bits. Nothing hurt majorly but my right hip flexor is the weak point. All in all it was a good run and I am really happy to have got into double figures and for the Dopey dream to be alive. I did my stretches outside while Storm Cat watched and everything seems fine. In fact I feel pretty good about things. I have a plan and I feel like I have re-committed. Hopefully some pixie dust will help me get out and keep doing the work and if I do that, Dopey is on.

Why not me?

Jess GuthLeave a comment
Me at the end of 9 miles

I watched a bit of the Olympics and it is easy to just dismiss these super humans as irrelevant to our lives. I have watched runners like Noah Lyles and Josh Kerr declare to the world that they will win and one doing just that on one race and not the other and one not. I have watched amazing performances across a whole variety of sports and I have seen some of the interviews and pieces to camera that hint at the hard work done behind the scenes. I watched incredible marathon running and awful social media posts about athletes who ‘lost’. I flicked between being bemused by what an elite set of human bodies can achieve and noting that my body never has and never will be capable of anything spectacular in the sporting arena. I flicked between dismissing it all as irrelevant to me and being inspired. But a theme, as well as actually a quote (Noah Lyles I think, possibly Josh Kerr), that runs through so much of what I have seen is that idea that someone has to win, someone has to get the medals so why not you? It’s that notion that there are things out there to be done, to be accomplished so why shouldn’t it be you doing it. It somehow chimed with me the first time it was said at these Games and I have been thinking about why.

Obviously it is nonsense for me to think there are podium finishes in my future that someone has to win and it might as well be me. That’s not why this chimed. I think it is about something broader for me. It’s about deciding you want to do something, doing the work to get yourself there and then owning it. So, there is a Dopey Challenge open to what you might call recreational runners, I quite like the idea of running it again, people will run it, I might as well be part of it. But that very simple theme also incorporates a perhaps obvious point – if it might as well be you, you have to be in a position to get it done. I have to be fit enough to get round Dopey. Not to win obviously, but I have to do the work now, I have to prepare so come January I can say, with the same confidence I have seen repeatedly over the last week and a bit: ‘People will run and complete the Dopey, why wouldn’t I be one of them’. The ‘why not you’ has popped up before. I have often thought about the fact that someone has to comes last, why not me? Things happen – good and bad – why shouldn’t they happen to you? Isn’t that just the serendipity of life? Of course you can do things that might reduce the chances of bad stuff happening to you. And for some things the ‘might as well be me’ is hugely dependent on you doing stuff.

So it chimed because it is such a simple phrase and idea: Why not you? But it is also so complex, part serendipity and luck, part hard work, part within your control and partly not at all. I then listened to the High Performance Podcast episode with Michael Johnson where the theme popped up again. Both in the sense of someone has to win so why not you but then also in another sense – Michael Johnson talking about the stroke he suffered not in terms of how unfair it was or feeling sorry for himself but acknowledging the ‘well why not me’ question. Noting that if someone has to have a stroke then it might as well be him as much as the next guy and acknowledging that he was fortunate because he was in great shape and able to get back to full health. The why not me theme is so simple and so complex at the same time.

When I started this blog post the Olympics weren’t over yet. I had had a pretty good week of training. I felt good and I was going to write all about what I was doing to put myself into a position where ‘why not me’ is a reasonable thing to ask about finishing Dopey. The last week though hasn’t gone to plan and I have done absolutely nothing to get myself into that position.

But let’s re-wind. My good week. I cycled, I stretched every day, I did my runs and I was proud of finishing what was essentially a 10 miler even though that didn’t go as planned. We’d gone out for a curry on the Thursday and while the food was great as always, I felt sluggish for days after. I knew I wasn’t really ready for my long run, my tummy wasn’t settled but I also knew I just needed to get it done. I was ok-ish to 5 miles. At 5 miles I was beginning to be quite uncomfortable, by 6 miles I was in bother and by 6.5 miles running was basically impossible. I stopped and had a brief little tantrum and switched my watch to walk. I decided that I would try and walk the remainder of my 9 mile run/walk. As walking was sort of ok and dramatically reduced the danger of puking or worse, I decided I would see if I could walk the 2.5 miles remaining within the allowed Disney Pace of 16 minute miles. Unfortunately though the data on the screen of my watch is so small when using the walk setting that I couldn’t actually see the pace so I just had to march as fast as I could given the circumstances. I wanted to stop more than once but didn’t. I made it, and then very slowly walked the rest of the loop home – clocking in at something like 9.98 miles total for the day. And the 9 miles were at an average of 15 minute miles so all Disney Legal.

This week though I have done very little. I have done some random stretches most days but nothing more than a few minutes at a time and nothing from any of the apps. I haven’t run and I haven’t been on the bike. I have lots of excuses but they are just that. I easily could have got out there. I just didn’t make myself make the time.

Today was supposed to be long run day. I wanted to have another go at the route I did last weekend to see if I could make it without tummy issues. But my period started this morning and it’s a bad one. Tummy cramps, back pain, nausea and everything makes me cry. So mostly I have just been feeling sorry for myself. The usual painkillers had little effect and mostly I just didn’t know what to do with myself. I know it will be a bit easier tomorrow and then fine the day after but I have not been a happy Jess today. This afternoon I got so fed up with myself that I tried a Joe Wicks strength in menopause workout. I should have done one I already knew but I tried a new full body 30 minute one and I didn’t much like it and sort of just grumped my way through it a bit half heartedly. But I supposed it is still better than nothing. I’ll try that one again when I am not feeling as crappy.

So the week ahead. Somehow it feels busy. It’s not really in the grand scheme of things. Tomorrow the car is going in for its service and Storm cat is having her vaccination in the evening. Tuesday Kilian goes to the vet for his teeth extractions (the poor little bugger has a nasty infection and the icky gums and teeth the vet warned us about when he was a kitten have finally got the better of him), Wednesday I am going into the office on the train… it might be a week of excuses or it might be a week of managing to juggle successfully all the life stuff we all juggle. We’ll see.

I guess some people just have bad periods – why wouldn’t that be me? Some people are really good at excuses – that’s definitely me and some people can also laugh at their excuses and then get on with it – why not me?

Fell Pony Adventures Mosedale Trek – Day 3

Jess Guth1 Comment

After Day 2 of the trek I was expecting to maybe be a little achey but overall everything felt fine. I slept relatively well, waking up just a few times. It was still raining and grey and seemed set in but as we had breakfast (charcoal stove toasted croissants again – so nice) and started to pack up there were also glimmers of blue sky. Tom had moved the ponies onto some better grass so they were all happily munching away. We got packed and on our way fairly quickly and day 1 started much how day 2 ended but it was less windy and while there was the odd little bit of rain we seemed to be mostly walking in the dry. The ground was wet though and there were some really boggy bits to navigate round.

Kath and Pansy

After a little while of walking and crossing a beck that Prince didn’t seem too keen on (we took the boxes off him to make it easier) and Pansy navigated in a rather undignified manner sliding down the bank on her bottom, Teddy took a good long look at before deciding it was ok and Fay and Trouble navigated really well, we soon arrived at Gatescarth Pass. We stopped for a few minutes to reduce layers of clothing, have a drink of water and I had a good look at the up that was coming. I was partly anxious and partly just trying to remember that the views would be worth it and that I would just get to the top when I got to the top.

We set off and very quickly Prince started picking his own way zig zagging along behind me and then past me. He was going faster than I could manage and I didn’t want to make it harder for him to carry his load up so chucked the rope over his pack saddle and let him get on with it. He made some interesting choices about his route and sometimes he trotted along like an idiot and I was worried he’d hurt himself – but of course he knew what he was doing – he’s a fell pony, he’s made for that terrain. So I huffed and puffed my way up. Sue chatted with me at the back and we got there eventually. It’s a stoney path which going up was fine but we were going up and over and that meant down the other side.

I started the downhill with Prince and for a while that worked well. He pinged from one side of the track to the other often walking on the grass bank. A couple of times he went further off piste than I had rope for so I let him go. Once he pulled me over into quite a high banking which I sort of belly flopped against and which made me giggle. The downhill was not my favourite part. The lack of core strength meant I felt ill equipped to deal with any slips and trips and rolling pebbles and sliding scree and I got in my head a bit. I caught up to Prince and on a less steep section took the rope again and hung out with him. I quickly focused less on me and my silly anxiety brain and more on where he was going and if I could go with him and how and did a bit better.

We stopped for lunch at a beautiful sport overlooking Haweswater. We tethered the ponies and set up the shelter so we could stay out of the rain which started again just as we stopped. Tom made a pasta and pesto lunch and we had a cup of tea and a biscuit. Then out of nowhere several mountain bikers came racing down the pass. They didn’t slow down for the horses and spooked them a bit. The last rider to come down obviously scared Trouble who managed to pull the tethering pin out of the ground as she bolted towards the others. Thankfully she settled down quickly as we all swore at the cyclists more or less under our breath.

After lunch we did the final little bit down the pass and then a little stretch along the road before another climb. This time we went over the Old Corpse Road. It’s steep but not as long as the previous up and because it was pretty narrow – certainly at the start – I just let Prince go ahead. I walked at the back with Sue and we kept Prince going vaguely in the right direction with the help of her dog Jess who seemed very pleased to finally have a job. The Corpse Road up was hard. I was probably getting tired and the up is very definitely up! Once at the top we stayed at quite a high level and started to make our way back towards Naddle Farm. Tom had already said that a lot of the final bit of the route was off piste but that he had discussed a potential route in with someone from Naddle Farm and was aiming to try that.

Well, we didn’t get that route quite right and had good chunk off piste with pretty boggy bits. I was definitely tired at this point and was just leaving Prince to it and just making my own way at the back. After a little bit of navigational backwards and forwards we committed to a route and eventually found the gate that Tom had been told about and from there took a good track through a gorgeous valley all the way back to the farm. Somewhere along this track Kath had taken Prince – I think she retrieved him from a random wander off and I took Pansy off Sue so I could enjoy the last stretch walking with a pony again. Pansy was lovely too. Less zig-zaggy than Prince and very responsive to voice and being talked to. I enjoyed the last stretch very much and was once again lost in my own thoughts occasionally talking to Pansy and trying to drink in as much of the scenery and bottle the calm.

We arrived back, wet, tired and very happy. Once we unleaded the ponies, retrieved our belongings from the packs, we got changed into dry clothes (dry socks are bliss!) and said our good byes. We stopped at Tebay services and got a sausage roll and chips to eat in the car before driving home, unpacking the worst of the wet gear and collapsing into a hot bath and then bed.

Saturday I woke up and wowsers, haven’t been that achey in a while. Hamstrings, quads, hip flexers and hips and lower back in particular were all there to say ‘Hi’. I stretched a little but I couldn’t even reach my toes. It eased slightly during the day and today it is noticeably easier again with just my back still being a bit unhappy. I miss the ponies and I miss the almost meditative walking along with them. I am so glad we decided to go and do another Fell Pony Adventures trek and I am proud I made it up and over those hills. Was it hard – yep, was it worth doing – absolutely. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat!

Fell Pony Adventures Mosedale Trek Day 1&2

Jess Guth1 Comment
Picture of bell tent in a field with tree line in the distance and blue sky

Not a running adventure, but an outdoor moving sort of adventure. From Wednesday to Friday last week Kath and I did the Mosedale Trek with Fell Pony Adventures. On Wednesday (Day 1) we drove up to Naddle Farm at RSPB Haweswater to meet Tom and his ponies and the other 2 trek participants. The tents were already up so there wasn’t anything for us to do other than enjoy the sunshine, meet the ponies and learn a little more about Wild Haweswater from the RSPB Visitor Experience Manager Annabelle. It was really nice to see ponies Fay and Pansy again and meet Prince, Teddy and the affectionately named youngster Trouble – who wasn’t actually any trouble at all.

After a really yummy tea of quorn chilli we moved into the badger hide that is on site and settled in to wait. After about an hour a first badger appeared and a little while later a second one joined and eventually there were three of them. I’d never seen a badger in the wild in the UK and it was very cool to just see them doing their thing, foraging for food. We were all tucked up in our tents at not long after 10pm and I slept quite well. I woke up a few times and noticed that it was raining – which was a little disappointing as we were really hoping for a dry trek (wasn’t to be!) and then there was a noisy dawn chorus about 4.10am. I eventually woke up fully at a little before 7am.

After breakfast of bacon and eggs on a warmed croissant we started packing all the gear and getting it into the pack pony bags with Tom carefully weighing them to make sure we got even pairs for each pony. Then we got the ponies. Tom and Mountain Leader Sue had suggested who takes which pony and it worked really well. So Kath took Pansy and I took Prince. Tom showed us how to put the saddles on the ponies and then how to lift the packs on and then, after a quick ‘this is how you lead a pack pony induction’, we were off.

Pansy

I really liked walking along with Prince. He was lovely and mostly well behaved but with a clear idea about exactly where he wanted to walk which seemed to mostly involve zig zagging across the path behind me. The first stretch was a gentle path back through the field where the ponies had been turned out and through a little wood and then across to Swindale on a narrow up and then down track. We stopped for a little break and then made our way along Swindale Lane and onto a path which then took us to our lunch spot at Mosedale Beck. It turned wet and windy while we had a lovely lunch of soup and bread with nibbles of olives, hummus and local cheeses. The rain then eased off again and we set off on the afternoon section of our walk in grey but dry weather. We had come about 3 miles at this point and it had all been absolutely fine.

After lunch we headed up. This was a little more challenging and my lungs weren’t playing ball. It felt like I couldn’t really get any air in but Prince was patient with me and we stuck together and made it bit by bit with little stops where I focused on breathing and he focused on eating. I was slightly conscious of people waiting for me but everyone was really patient and the ponies happy to graze. There were one or two bits where Prince had ideas about where he would go that didn’t really match the path and I ran out of rope so left him too it and there was a steepish section where he was too fast for me.

Prince (Day 3, bottom of Old Corpse Road)

Mostly I managed the up with Prince and once or twice he saved me from a slip. When we reached the top and Mosedale Common, the wind was nippy and it was raining fairly consistently so we just all plodded along lost in our own thoughts avoiding the boggiest bits. In some ways this was my favourite bit of Day 1. Just me with Prince trudging along in the rain and wind with 4 other ponies and 5 other people doing the same. There was no point trying to talk to anyone, with hoods up and wind you couldn’t hear anyway so we were all in our own worlds and it felt perfect. A sort of being alone together which I really quite like.

Eventually Mosedale Cottage and with it our home for the night came into view. We unloaded the ponies and tethered them behind the cottage for a little shelter from the wind. We settled ourselves in and had a cup of tea and a biscuit and chatted a bit. It was nice to be out of the wind. Then Tom made another delicious meal (Flat bread with chick peas and peppers, tomatoes and herbs and spices). Not long after we’d eaten 3 lads appeared absolutely soaking wet through and rather clueless. I think they were happy to have a bit of advice and help and be able to come in out of the dry and warm as we had brought some firewood and lit a fire. They had some camping gear but the wrong sort of gas canister for their stove so Tom gave them one of his – that didn’t stop an attempt to warm tinned curry on the fire though. They were probably also a little embarrassed but they gave us a good giggle and deserve some credit for being out there and giving it a go. I don’t want to be preachy but please take the the Lake District fells seriously, things can and do go wrong quickly, get a proper map and learn how to use it, don’t rely on your phone and think about clothes, waterproofs and suitable footwear. Go with someone who knows what they are doing if you don’t.

I went to bed tired and happy. Yes, I had to go slow coming up onto Mosedale Common but I had made it without any drama, the terrain under foot hadn’t actually been an issue – I think leading Prince and chatting to him and focusing on that meant I hadn’t really thought about the ground partly being uneven, partly being slippery and partly being wet. I was just getting on with it – so yay to not overthinking. As I slowly dozed off snuggled into the sleeping bag I thought about how calming overall just being around horses is, how being out and moving puts everything into perspective, makes stresses melt away and how doing it with a fell pony out on the fells acts as a reminder of the importance of just being. Thursday had been 6 miles of moving at fell pony pace and a day of just being. I fell asleep happy.

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2023

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So that’s it, as the clock ticks over, we take down old calendars and put up new ones, 2023 is done. We draw an arbitrary line and start again in the morning to welcome 2024.

I’m not really sad to see 2023 go. It showed me the worst of people, how broken some people are and how many really only care about themselves. 2023 renewed my disappointment in people, made me bin more role models and discard more heroines. A lot about 2023 confirmed to me that really, most people are completely overrated and you are almost always better off with a cat.

2023 also showed me the best of people. I met, worked with, chatted with, ran with, taught, was taught by and laughed with people who showed me and others genuine kindness and warmth and who restored my faith that there are good people out there, some even approved of by cats.

In terms of running, 2023 has been…, not quite sure how to put this really. 2023 has not been a running year. According to Strava I have run 63 miles all year. I’ve tracked walks of about the same distance. I’ve done some yoga and pedalled about in zwift a bit and only recorded 78 days of activity of one sort or another. In terms of exercise, well, the less said the better! I finish the year the heaviest I have ever been and unfit, very unfit. But that just is fact.

I am usually reflective at this time of year but this year I am not very focused and can’t quite get the words so here are my reflections in photo format. One from each month, all from places that hold memories – old and new. Make of them what you will and I hope some make you smile.

I hope 2024 brings you happiness and peace