I ran

I wasn’t really expecting to tell you this again this year! I had moments where I hoped and the odd glimmer of total madness where I dared to plan. But I didn’t really believe I would manage another actual run this year. When I last wrote I was testing the fitness water with some HIIT sessions at home – well parts of HIIT sessions. Well they felt sort of awful and I felt not quite right and weird. And then one day, about 10 days ago I managed all 3 sets, and it didn’t feel weird. It just felt hard. It felt like being unfit and not being used to any of the exercises and like maybe having started on the mince pies just a little too early this year. It felt familiar. My body does unfit really well. It understands what it feels like and what is asked of it. It grumbles in all the usual places and ways when asked to do something about it. It wobbles and creaks a little and grumbles but it also secretly knows which bits will be slightly less wobbly first, which bits need nursing along and which bits just need to get over themselves. It knows my thighs lie when they say ‘can’t’ but that my shoulders know their limitations and ignoring a ‘can’t’ from them is likely to result in a dropped weight or face plant. It also knows that my hips are quite bendy, my hamstrings are not. Being unfit and starting to get fitter is familiar territory, I was beginning to come home.

So if the HIIT sessions just felt hard but not being-poorly-weird then there was no real reason I couldn’t have a go at a run. Running feels scarier simply because I have to leave the house. If I don’t feel well I still have to get home; there might be other people (rude!) and there are other things to think about like traffic, curbs, potholes, dogs, cars, wheelie bins with minds of their own… so I made a very very gentle plan:

  • Week 0: Complete 4 HIIT sessions
  • Week 1 (now): 2 runs of 30 minutes running only 10 seconds of every minute; 1 longer run -same running interval
  • Week 2: 2 runs of 30 minutes running 15 seconds of every minute; 1 longer run using same intervals
  • Week 3: 2 runs of 30 minutes running 20 seconds of every minute; 1 longer run using same intervals
  • Week 4: 2 runs of 30 minutes running 30 seconds walking 30 seconds; 1 longer run 30/30 on Christmas morning

The I panicked about everything and did very little. Out of the 4 sessions I managed 2 and I struggled to get out to run. It’s now Thursday of Week 1 and after a day of pottering about in the kitchen baking I decided it was time. I found a pair of new New Balance long pants I bought a century or so ago (it’s 2020, time is meaningless) and got wrapped up warm. Then I went to set my watch and discovered that I couldn’t set a 10 second/50 second alert – it would have to be 15 /45 seconds or I’d have to set up a new workout to upload first. Hm. Ok well 15 seconds run it had to be then.

Kath came with me and we agreed just to do an out and back to the end of the road section of our sheep loop. It wouldn’t be quite half an hour but it would be a good start. So that’s what we did. 15 seconds of running – really concentrating on running form and going at a decent pace. It was pretty good. It wasn’t easy but my legs remember how to run and actually they weren’t too grumpy about having to move a bit faster and get the knees a bit higher and my lungs didn’t protest too much either. 1.5 miles all in and I am looking forward to the next one. I ran.

More 8 minutes, more mantras and a revelation

On Monday I told you about my 8 minutes times 3 running. Well it was the same again for the next run – which was today. I didn’t go this morning so actually chances of it happening at all diminished as the day went on. We had to get something looked at on the car and did the food shop and then were hungry and then too full and then we fell asleep… anyway, then we went for a run. I think Kath had a 5 miler and I watched her set off in the rain as I tried to find something to occupy Odin kitten so he wouldn’t follow me.

I went a different route this time. The first 8 minutes were comfortable and I enjoyed the rain on my face and the lack of people. I was staying on the roads round the village and it was lovely and quiet. I don’t remember thinking about much at all. It was just nice to be out and moving. As I finished my first walk break and settled into the 2nd run I remembered something that Kath had said about mantras – apparently using ‘you’ rather than ‘I’ works better. So I tried that; ‘You are strong and you can do this’ – nope my brain did not like that one. The little voice in my head did this:

I tried just ‘You can do this’ and a more confident ‘You are doing this’ and some variations on that theme but now I am referring to myself as another person and quite frankly I am quite loony enough without adding that. So with that little voice in my head still falling over itself laughing, I nearly got run over by some muppet in a corsa who didn’t know what the flashy little orange lights on his car do and somehow thought that’s my fault and had run for 7 minutes. One minute to go. Up hill. But it’s just a minute. And now I know that I can run for 8 minutes, a minute seems doable. And it is.

The 2nd walk break finished just as the slope upwards intensifies. I have to start running. I have moments of doubt. I daren’t go back to the mantras because, well, the voice in my head has had quite enough hilarity for one day. So I keep my eyes fixed on a parked car. Slowly, slowly I get closer. And then it drives off. I mean, really. The universe couldn’t have just let me get to the car and pick my next mark? My brain was saying I had to get to the car… the car that was now out of sight. Yeah, thanks. I was unreasonably outraged by the car just driving off. ‘That was my marker’ I screamed silently in my head. I’d been running for about 90 seconds. Outrage can take you another minute or so further. Then I had to cross the road and honestly, I was grateful I had to stop and let some cars do their thing. Once it was clear, I headed off again towards the canal towpath.

My legs had sort of had enough really and my breathing was more steam train than human. So when a woman and her child on a bike didn’t move as I approached and said excuse me twice, I just raised an eyebrow at her ‘Sorry love I didn’t hear you’ as I sidestepped onto the grass. If she didn’t hear me coming she needs to get herself to the doctor to get them ears of hers checked. Anyway, as I was still pondering the weirdness of people I glanced at my watch and realised I had run 5 of the 8 minutes. 3 to go. I wanted to stop really but the woman and child on the bike were behind me and I do have some pride. So I told myself that I just needed to get to where the line of houses starts and then I could walk. That seemed ok-ish. I got there and only had 20 seconds left to run so just kept going until the watch beeped. Done. 2 minutes walk later and my 30 minutes were done.

I have been grumpy about how slow I have been but this lot of 8 minute runs with 2 minute walks was at 13 and a half minutes per mile pace which is much better than the just a smidge over 15 minute miles from Monday. I know it’s not about pace or about going further or faster each run. I know that, but it did cheer me up to see a pace number of under 14. I think it means that this programme is working and that slowly and surely my body is remembering how to run and do it more efficiently and comfortably. It’s a glimmer of hope that maybe soon I might even enjoy a run as I do it rather than only afterwards.

Kath caught me up just a minute or two after I had finished and was walking home. We walked together a few minutes and then she set off the run the last bit. When I got home this was stuck on the door and it made me giggle – although I had no energy for a happy dance just then.

I was already sweaty and in running gear so I thought I would do my Nike App exercises after the run. I had done this particular workout before (though do not get me started on plank saws etc again) and it wasn’t too horrendous. So I grabbed my phone and set the workout to start. However my t-shirt was soaking wet from the rain and really quite uncomfortable. Sod it, I thought, I’ll just take it off. And there I was, doing a workout just in my running tights and sports bra. So that was a bit of a revelation. I have always been a bit skeptical seeing women out running or at the gym or in exercise classes wearing tops that are essentially just a sports bra. Skeptical not because of the way they look but because somehow I couldn’t get my head round being comfortable. Yes I realise this is silly and says way more about me. But anyway, hello superwoman. Exercising in just a sport bra for a top was different. It felt somehow empowering. I don’t think I’ll ever run outside or go to the gym just in a sports bra top because quite honestly I can’t do with the staring or the comments, I have other things to worry about but here, at home in my spare bedroom, hell yes.

8 Minutes and Mantras

Well it stopped being too hot and with that I ran out of excuses really. I still managed to not run for a few days, I kept finding excuses in the morning, reassuring myself that I would get out later. Guess what. Yep. Later never happened. This morning my excuses didn’t really sounds believable, even to me. So I gave myself a talking to. ‘You’re a double Dopey’ I told myself ‘just get your butt out there and run’. I tried to convince myself that running for 8 minutes three times on a West Yorkshire August morning was not going to be anywhere near as hard as 26.2 miles in Florida January heat. ‘It’s also less fun’ niggled that little voice in my head.

Anyway, then Kath said she would come with me and given that none of my excuses had sounded plausible in my head, I wasn’t about the try them out on her. So I got dressed and off we went. It was only 8 minutes running. I mean really, 8 minutes is not a very long time. Except it is. The first 8 minutes actually felt ok. I settled into it quickly and while it started getting hard at about 5-6 minutes as we got to the steepest bit of the uphill I huffed and puffed my way up relatively happily. So far so good. 2 minute walk was enough to recover a bit and I felt ok setting off for run 2. Run 2 mostly sloped very very slightly upwards (after a sharp short down – which on the way back becomes a sharp short up – see below). The annoying slope you really only notice when you are running that way. It doesn’t feel like it slopes downwards the other way.

In run 2 my brain started not playing ball. It felt too hard, thoughts of walking a bit crept in. Excuses formed: ‘I can always try again to run it all tomorrow’ and ‘I’m just feeling a bit heavy because of all the food yesterday’ (It was Kath’s Mum’s birthday and we had a lovely roast dinner and birthday cake). Often what happens next is that we progress from that to ‘No point, can’t do it, might as well just walk, crap, can’t do it’. I managed to refocus before the real negative got hold and sent the little voice off into a corner of my brain for a time out. Instead I told myself that I really just had to run for 5 minutes because then I could turn round and head back towards home. And as I knew from run 1, 5 minutes was actually easy. I was huffing and puffing, sweat was dripping and I was barely going snail’s pace but I was going and at about 5 minutes we turned, back up a little tiny hill and then down the slope that doesn’t feel like a slope and run 2 was done.

My lungs were screaming for air as I mourned my lost fitness and cursed myself for having stopped running after the marathons last year and not really every getting going again. But after 2 minutes I had recovered enough as the watch beep told me it was time for my moonin butt to get moving again. Run 2 started with that short sharp uphill. Just a 10 second kind of hill but as I got to the top to another section which pretends to be flat – it’s the flattest on the route but at this point is really slightly upwards sloping, I felt like I had jelly legs. I was sure I couldn’t possibly run another minute even though I had only run less than a minute so far. Nope, I was going to have to admit defeat. I think I whimpered. Kath told me I’d recover now we were on the flat. ‘It’s not flat’ I felt like screaming but I had no spare oxygen for that. She told me I could do it and to remember my mantras.

Ha mantras. Yes I’d forgotten all about them. Mantras are funny things. In a way I am skeptical about them and on a cynical day (so most days) a bit dismissive. Somehow I can’t quite bring myself to accept that talking to myself and repeating affirmations or whatever is an acceptable way of getting through life or through a run. It just seems weird to me to be telling myself how amazing I am. It makes me cringe. So while I thought about how cringeworthy mantras are and all of that went through my head, I hadn’t stopped running. I was, somehow, miraculously still running. I heard Kath say ‘Come on keep going, you’re strong’. And I sort of shrugged and thought ‘well compared to three weeks ago I am, I’ve done all my strength workouts after all’ so my mantra became ‘I am strong and I can do this’. After saying it in my head three or four times, not finishing the run was no longer an option. All I had to do was get up the hill, down the other side and depending on time, up another slope for a bit. I am strong and I can do this. Car to car to gate to lamppost to car to gate to tree to wall to car… I am strong and I can do this. And I did.

Collapsing in a heap at the end of run 3 was tempting. But I kept walking for the 2 minutes as per the programme and by the end of that had recovered a fair bit. We were nearly home – just a couple more minutes of walking. It was slow and it was hard but it also reminded me that while often at the start of running or at the re-start of running things are physically hard, really hard and the sayings about running being mostly mental etc don’t really help or apply, there is absolutely still a place for training your mind to help. Yes I found the run today physically hard but I am now aware of the mental strategies available to me to push to the end of a physically hard run. I tried to just focus on something else during run 2 – I was still thinking about the run on this occasion but it was enough stop the negative spiral and I got through run 3 only because of the mantra. This is a definite advantage a running re-start has over starting for the first time I think. I have experienced runs were it’s all mental and I have tried different mental strategies. Now I just need to remember to use them as I make my way through this programme!

It’s too hot

It’s too hot. I generally think of myself as quite good in heat really but that apparently only applies when I am not at home. West Yorkshire is not supposed to be this hot and humid and I am just permanently grumpy about being too hot. Have I mentioned it’s too hot?

Anyway, running. I went. Kath came with me. My plan said 7 minutes running three times with 2 minute walk breaks. Well even at 7am it was already warm (have I mentioned the heat) but there was still a bit of air. The first 7 minutes were ok, hard on the uphill towards the end but ok. The second 7 minutes were just ridiculous and I didn’t think I’d get beyond 4 minutes, then 5 minutes, then 6 minutes… I would almost certainly have stopped but Kath kept insisting I could do it. I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt about that but I did feel like collapsing in a heap when I heard the beep on my watch.

The 3rd set of 7 minutes was pretty much all downhill so much easier and I recovered a little. It was lovely to run off road again too. I have been doing an out and back road route for the first part of the plan but it was early enough to head for our sheep loop (we should really call it something else, we haven’t had our sheep for quite some time now) including the canal. And the longer running intervals made a loop more worthwhile. We finished run 3 just about a minute or so onto the canal and then enjoyed a relaxing walk home from there. It was nice to do a loop rather than an out and back and it was lovely to see some greenery and ducks! I hadn’t realised it but I have missed the ducks.

Other than that it’s basically just too hot.

Week 2 Run 3

Come on, who stole the air last night? Even though it was a bit cooler during the day than it had been, last night was just the worst for sleeping. I couldn’t get to sleep for ages and once I did, I didn’t stay asleep… event the cats were hot and bothered. At 5.19 we gave up and Kath got us a cup of tea. The sky was stunning and as I tried to stretch and shake off the sleepiness I thought that it was probably worth getting up and out. It took me a little while to get going but at about 6.30 I left the house for the 3rd run of the second week of the 5km plan. Run 3 is run 5 minutes, walk 3 minutes and do that 3 times.

Given how hard I found running for 3 minutes the other day I really wasn’t sure about 5 minutes. After having returned Odin cat to the house to stop him following me I set off, not really thinking much about anything. Just a little way down the road I passed a neighbour who cheerfully informed me that she had seen Kath and I was way behind and wouldn’t catch her and that she knew what I’d been doing. I have no idea what she was talking about. I set off a good 10 minutes or so after Kath on a completely different run and as for what I was doing – erm, getting up, dressed and sorted to run. Thinking about the random, often well meaning but slightly idiotic comments you get when running kept me occupied until my watch beeped to tell me 5 minutes was up. I guess 5 minutes is shorter than 3 minutes in some cases!

I walked the rest thinking I didn’t really need the three minutes and set off on the second run at the beep. I got mostly downhill here so it was fine. I turned after 4 minutes of running still quite happy. Again I did not feel like I really needed three minutes of recovery but I was sauntering, looking around and daydreaming rather than marching on. Run 3. Well, if run 2 was mostly down hill and I had now turned round then Run 3 was of course mostly uphill. Well the first 2 minutes were uphill and wow that was not comfortable. I huffed and puffed my way to the top like a steam train and when I got to the top my glutes were burning. It was quite tempting to stop, I’d done the hard bit after all but I still had 3 minutes to go and figured I’d recover a bit on the down before sloping up again. Yeah something like that. That 5 minutes was looooong. Trust me, 5 minutes is not always the same length of time.

Kilian showing off his slightly
unorthodox yoga moved

Once home I looked at my Nike app and saw that today’s session was a strength yoga class of 23 minutes. Kath wasn’t back yet so I thought I might as well give that a go before breakfast. It was actually not bad and Downward Facing Dog really helps stretching out legs. They were feeling quite tight after the run but so much better after the yoga. There were a couple of things I struggled with a bit because I have no upper body strength – the transition from plank to upward facing dog for example – but generally I was quite happy with that.

The advantage of having done my run and my exercise session before 8am is that it is done. I don’t have to spend the rest of the day worrying about when to fit it in and how that works with food and how that aligns with Kath’s work pattern today etc. I’m done. The day is mine. The disadvantage is that I am not quite sure what to do with myself now. I have all day with no real plans (unless renewing car insurance counts as a plan). Still, it feels like a positive start to the week.

Happy Monday.