Tag: running

Thursday – crashed with a weak middle

Jess Guth4 Comments

Well I’m doing well aren’t I. After my panic attack yesterday morning I then went to bed early (like 9pm) and read a little bit and fell alseep quickly – for about 90 minutes. Then I woke up. And stayed awake, and stayed awake and stayed awake. I finally dozed off again around 4.30am and when 6am came I was just exhausted and tearful and generally not coping. I hate that feeling, I am a successful, strong and pretty competent woman and should be able to keep my shit together… but no. I can’t, or not all the time anyway. I felt – as you’d say in Yorkshire – proper poorly. So back to sleep I went – until 11.45am. I think that’s what you call crashed.

Then I got up. My leg is still much the same as it was yesterday I think but I had the osteopath appointment this afternoon – possibly the only reason I actually made it out of bed. I wrote about the osteopath a bit back in May. but it is worth repeating: They are amazing. So I toddled off to the Practice, for anyone locally, they are in Keighley at Farfield House Clinic and they are worth bearing in mind for any niggles. I don’t really know how they compare on price but £40 for a session doesn’t strike me as massively expensive.

I saw the same guy as last time (seemed to make sense to me and he had apointments available when I phoned). I was, as I always am for any medical appointment, apprehensive. I tried my best to explain what had happened and he seemed to get it. I can’t quite explain how grateful I am not to be told to stop running or to lose more weight before I even think about running. So after a few tests which had me standing up and touching my toes, standing on one leg, leaning back, twisting my torso etc he examined the muscles in my leg. The good news – I am flexible (for my age – the ‘for my age’ bit being added is a new development!) and the yoga we’ve been doing is clearly working. There is now hardly a difference between left and right in terms of flexibility which is good. The bad news – I’m a bit weak round the middle. Basically the niggle I have comes from the top of my legs and hips not being strong enough. It’s a common issue and thankfully it has an easy solution – strengthen the weak bits. After a little bit of work on the back of my right hip which I can now feel but which I’m sure will be tons better tomorrow, I was shown to simple exercises to do.

The first one is the Monkey Squat. There are loads of videos and descriptions out there but I quite like this one because it is simple. Basically you stand with your feet hipwith apart and then go to sit down on a chair but don’t, stand back up. The second exercise is even simpler – all you need is some stairs. you put your foot on the second step up (facing up) and then step up (hold onto something for balance if you need to) and then lower back down. If you don’t cheat and use momentum or pull yourself up this does work – I did a few on my left side to practise earlier.

As well as these exercises I think I will have to get over myself and start doing the strength session from the yoga app rather than sticking to the flexibility and relaxation ones. Anyway, all in all good news. I haven’t been told to stop running, not even for a short time and it looks like the 11 miler may be on for Saturday – as long as I can stop feeling poorly and sleeping all the bloody time.

Wednesday – still grumpy

Jess Guth4 Comments

Today has not been a good day. We went for a run on Monday. My right leg was a bit tight and almost sore as we set off but it loosened up and was then fine. It was a hard but ok run and I took two walk breaks out. I think the pace was just under 11 and a half minutes per mile. I was quite excited because it meant we didn’t have any gaps on our training plan and we were ready to start week 10. On Tuesday we spent the morning at Kilnsey Show and then came back home and got ready to run in the afternoon. We set off, my leg was stiff and sore – same as Monday really but this time it didn’t ease. By the time we got down to the canal it was painful. I thought it might ease once on the flat rather than going downhill. It didn’t. We stopped. It was so utterly frustrating and of course there were tears. I am trying really hard to be patient. No running today. My calf is tight and there is a niggle further up my leg into my hip and I think the problem may be that my hamstring is really tight. I have an appointment with the osteopath tomorrow so we’ll see what he says. No more running this week anyway.

So instead I have been looking at running routes and we have figured our an 11 mile route for Saturday (fingers crossed I’ll be ok) and also looked at what we can do along the cannal without having to run the same route again and again. So the 11 mile route for Saturday is Bolton Abbey to Burnsall and back – along the river Wharfe. I won’t spoil it, I’ll share details of the route when we actually run it. There are options along the canal with starting points in Shipley, Saltaire or Crossflatts so I think we’ll be ok – conveniently marathon distance is Leeds to home-ish along the canal so we know where we’ll be running for the really really long practice run!

I also had a little panic attack this morning and that slight sense of panic hasn’t really left me today. It probably hasn’t got anything to do with running or rather not running but I don’t think that’s helped. Anyway I am reasured that you don’t lose fitness by not running for a few days so I am hoping we’ll be ok for the long run and then can build from there.

So as not to lose focus but also to remind myself that I really do need to do this right and if my leg isn’t right I’ll just have to wait until it is, I have spent some more time looking at all the work Panthera do. For example, have a look at the Cougar Channel for loads of little video clips  (I quite like the greet and play) or if you feel like you need a brain workout have a look at the publications – I loved reading some of them but I really wish I was more of a scientist to help me make sense of it all.

If you value the work Panthera do or you’re just feeling generous or just want to support us please consider sponsoring us or donate to Panthera directly. Thank you.

Grumpy Sunday

Jess Guth8 Comments

I’ve put on a pound and a half. I’m not too grumpy about that. I had a couple of pints, cake, two meals out and pizza. I am pleased it’s only a pound and a half really. I’m grumpy because I’m impatient and I want to be making progress and this is supposed to get easier. Instead I seem to be struggling more than ever with 45 minute runs and 3 milers on our ‘easy’ week and just the idea of running generally.

So Tuesday we had a good postive run which I blogged about in the last post. The next run was supposed to be Thursday but I was curl-up-in-a-ball-and-cry tired so we postponed the run until Friday. Kath had suggested upping the running to 3 minutes (with a 30 second rest still) and that seemed sensible. the 2.5 minutes running had been going really well. So Friday was a decent run. We went at a slow pace just to see what the 3 minutes would be like and actually I didn’t find that harder than 2.5 minutes. I did wonder though whether it would start to tell if we picked up the pace.

Saturday was our planned 3 miles and we also still had a 45 minute from the other week to catch up on. We had planned to go to Bolton Abbey and run the 45 mins on Saturday and then do the 3 miles Sunday (today) but the Kath had a disturbed night and the kitten woke her up at 4.30am ish so by the time I got up she was tired and hungry.

Don't be fooled - he may look cute but he is a complete lunatic
Don’t be fooled – he may look cute but he is a complete lunatic

We went out for breakfast instead and postponed the run until the afternoon. We decided to try the 3 miles. We nearly didn’t go. We’d watched the Challenge Cup Final and has pizza, we were both tired and it would have been easy to put it off. We did get our backsides out of the house though and went to run along the canal – a simply 1.5 miles one way and then back. It was horrible. I felt sluggish, then I felt sick, my left knee felt uncomfortable and my right leg felt a bit weird. 11 and a half minutes per mile pace and to be fair I did feel more awake and positive after having done it. It also highlighted that pizza and salad are not at all good for pre-run food. It was just over two hours between eating and running but I won’t be having pizza and salad before running again!

So this morning. The cats were being rowdy again so we were both awake early. We did 15 minutes of flexibility yoga (I didn’t bend at all this morning) and then went to set off from home for our ‘past the sheep’ loop. My right leg felt weird. I can’t really explain it. It feels sort of tight and weak at the same time. Like it needs stretching out but also like it might give way. It’s not pain as such, it’s just unpleasant and unnerving. We set off for the seocnd run interval and I nearly fell over. I have a sort of slightly odd tension in the right side of my butt and it sort of carries down my right leg.

It is hard to explain how I felt walking back home. It’s always me that pulls out of a run, it’s always me that lets us down. I am so worried that I have basically reached my limit, that plodding round for 45 minutes 3 times a week is my level and that if I push beyond that with a longer run I basically just break. For a minute there I just wanted to give it all up. Why bother with something that I am never going to be good at?  I’m going to try more yoga and stretching throughout the day and see where I am this afternoon. I’d really like to do the run and get rid of the gap on the training plan. It’s only 29 days to go to the Nottingham Half Marathon. I need to get my act together and keep it together – and ideally not break.

Eek -race numbers and shirts - nice to get long sleeved Ts
Eek -race numbers and shirts – nice to get long sleeved Ts

Recovered from 9 miles

Jess Guth2 Comments

I was tempted by a pre-run post today. Probably because I have got a big pile of proof reading and editing on my desk. Anything but that! So here are my pre-run thoughts:

Today is the first maintenance run following the 9 miles at the weekend. My knees are still a bit creaky but I feel ok. As we are both working at home Kath suggested a lunchtime run. We haven’t done that before so now I’m worrying about it being different but actually I quite like the idea (that might also have something to do with the pile of proofing and editing!). I keep telling myself it is only 45 minutes. Far less than half of what I did at the weekend! It’s a nice day out and I don’t think it is too warm so it should be a lovely run. I want it to be. You see, there I go putting pressure on myself again. It’s obvious I don’t want it to be a horrible run but I need to stop insisting on every run being brilliant. I build it up in my head and it becomes this big thing and then I’m disappointed at the end because it wasn’t a PB or it wasn’t a strong positive run or whatever. I also get nervous and scared about running then (I’m starting to get a bit panicky about today now) and that can’t be good. I wrote the other day that there is no pressure on me and that I decide and that’s absolutely true – I just need to remember it!

Then I got side-tracked and actually did some proof reading as well as a bit of paper and book moving about (my usual pre-writing ritual, also known as procrastination) and now I am just back from that run. It was fantastic. No, for once I am not being sarcastic. I really enjoyed it. We went along the canal towards Bingley. There wasn’t much of note to see  -well actually there was, there were ducks and dog walkers (and dogs) and walkers and cyclists, a couple of other runners, some geese.. the usual canal-y sort of stuff. But the run wasn’t fantastic because of scenery or being out or any of that. It was fantastic because I felt good doing it. It was physically hard but not an effort if that makes sense. For the first time we hit 4 miles in the 45 minutes and even though I didn’t know that until we’d finished I really enjoyed just pushing that little bit harder physically to maintain what I thought might be a pretty even and acceptable pace. Well it turned out to be a very even pace and our fastest over the distance but that hardly matters (except somewhere in my head it does), what matters is that I enjoyed just running, not the things I saw while out or anything like that , just running. Happy.

 

Reading about running, watching running and the day after 9 miles

Jess Guth3 Comments

When I logged on this morning this was actually the blog I intended to write but then I got side-tracked with the award and doing the last post so I never did. So now you get two posts in one day.

It’s Sunday – that means weigh-in. Last week I forgot and was grumpy. I never did go back to check my weight then but I suspect it was up. This week I did remember and I have lost just about 2 pounds (from where I was 2 weeks ago) so happily going in the right direction. We are now making more of an effort on the food front and have pretty much cut out the booze so that helps. Food plans for the week include a risotto, a quorn chilli, pasta parcels, a home made curry and a meal out on Wednesday. We’ve got fruit and salad stuff and I will make a banana loaf later on to satisfy our sweet tooth.running free

This morning I finished reading Running Free by Richard Askwith (published in 2014). Kath read it and suggested I might like it. Hm, it’s bizarre enough that I am actually running but reading about running? Step too far? Well actually I really enjoyed the book. For a start it is well written and in some parts laugh out loud funny. My favourite line in it actually isn’t about running but about getting lost (it’s funny because it happened to me too):

“…but I have been lost indoors – not just temporarily disoriented, but properly sit-down-and-cry-and-wait-to-die lost – on a disastrous visit to the Birmingham branch of Ikea”

I can identify with that – mine wasn’t Ikea, mine was the old Health Studies department of my university where I went to do some interviews. Anyway, there is much in this book with which I can indentify and much with which I would love to be able to identify and lots that confirms to me that I am not really a runner and much that confirms that I am. Richard Askwith clearly loves running. I wish I did. I always thought I hated running but that might not actually be the case. It’s something I find incredibly hard and sometimes it makes me miserable but often it also makes me happy. Initially just the having done it made me happy. Being able to say I had and doing something I was always fairly sure I couldn’t do made me happy. Now though it is sometimes the running itself that makes me happy. Not on every run and never for very long but every now and again I get a glimpse of some of the things Askwith describes: It’s not so much what he says about how running makes him feel or clears his head – it’s more about his description of his runs which focus on what he sees and hears and the emotions that that creates. That’s what I get a glimpse of, the hightened awareness of the natural surroundings and the response I have to it. I recognise his descriptions not because I know the places but because I am beginning to notice the same kind of things on some of my more positive runs. I recognise these emotions:

‘Happiness spread through my being like warmth. Within minutes, it was as if none of the morning’s difficulties had taken place’

‘And part of the appeal (or scariness) of running in wolder contexts – outside the illusory reasurance of civilisation – is that it forces us to face up to uncertainty’

I also read his take on ‘Big Running’ with interest. It has always struck me that running gear is incredibly expensive and that this whole industry has turned something that should be free into huge business. I too can be sucked in by gadgets, marketing promises and shiny new stuff. I could spend a fortune – except that until very recently most of the mainstream shiny new stuff wouldn’t have been available in my size, or only just. I am a bit bemused by it all and at the same time part of me has bought into (or sold out to) Big Running. I am running with the one ultimate goal at the minute – the Disney World Marathon. What could be more corporate or more big running than that? And I am doing it because I want to be able to say that I have done it. Reading the book made me wonder whether that is the only reason. If it is, I’ll likely achieve my goal and then not run again. That, I am beginning to realise, would be a shame. Askwith runs without a watch, he doesn’t time his runs and he runs in the countryside and not in the gym or along roads. All of that appeals. I am not sure about tackling fields etc round here and I don’t really know why I am not sure (and slightly irritated by not being sure – I want to be the kind of person who happily runs through muddy fields)  but I’ll take the canal bank or the trails at Bolton Abbey over a running track, road or treadmill any day. I am not really interested in racing. We have signed up for a few events but for me it isn’t about pitching myself against others. Running is about me and not even about getting better, just about me doing it. Askwith talks about running in an environment which makes you happy and running round here where I live makes me happy and if I am going to run a ‘race’ then I want to do it in places that mean something to me or are somehow special. So the upcoming Nottingham Half Marathon will evoke memories of the year I lived in Nottingham, the Scarborough 10km after that will allow me to enjoy the stunning views across the sea and the Disney World marathon – well that’s just another leve altogether and we’ll be doing that to raise money for an amazing charity. Big Running – yes but also Jess Running. Anyway, read the book. It made me think about my running journey, appreciate it and it somehow made me enjoy my running more even if I am not quite ready to give up the outcomes focused recording of time, distance and pace – and I want my stickers for each completed run. I don’t think Askwith would mind that, I think maybe he’d acknowledge that we are in different phases of running and I think he’d encourage me to just keep getting out there – and by out I mean off road.

I have also been watching a bit of athletics – I often have sport as background noise when working at home. It’s a distraction that keeps me focused (if that makes sense). I watched Mo Farah take the 10km Gold (that’ll be 10km in a faster time than I can run 5km), I watched Usain Bolt win the 100m Gold and I’ve also seen other bits and pieces over the last couple of days.. As I watched those elite runners I suddenly thought how lucky I am. There is no pressure on me to run and when I do there is no pressure on me to go fast. There is no pressure to go for a certain distance or keep going for a certain time. I decide. The elite runners are phenomenal, of course they are but I’d rather be me. I’d rather have the freedom to plod my way along the canal bank and watch the herons flying ahead. As I watched Mo cross the finish line I realised I had tears running down my face. The win obviously meant a lot to him, being good at winning medals obviously means a lot to him and just running, however pathetically slowly, means a lot to me – in a really funny and conflicted way.

I’m still feeling pretty smug about the 9 miles yesterday and my body seems to have recovered very well. The weak point is my knees. That’s perhaps not surprising – I’m heavy, many might say too heavy for running. However, they are not what I would call sore, not injured as such, just a bit weak and creaky. I am planning a  yoga session this evening and that will help recovery further. I am also looking forward to my next run.