Regaining perspective

I feel ok today. I completed a 12 mile walk/run yesterday and I feel ok today. That, I have decided, is a huge success. I slept pretty well although I started getting restless about 4.30am I think, probably not helped by the cats. I don’t really have any pain anywhere. My legs feel fine – just a little tired maybe. It’s all good.

We fly out to Florida 9 weeks tomorrow. We arrive Tuesday evening and the marathon is on Sunday. We’ll head for the expo and pick up our packs on Wednesday and we have a few days to adjust sleep patterns and food etc before the marathon day. It also means that there are only 7 more weeks of long runs before we taper off to rest before the big event. However much I might hate every long run – and I am not entirely convinced that I will hate them all, I can do another 7 weeks of this.

So I learned some things yesterday.

  1. I am not mentally anywhere near as strong as I need to be. The minute it gets really tough I forget to count, I forget my mantras, I get negative. I am going to practice  on the short runs during the week. Maybe by extending the time I run before taking a walk break or maybe by pushing the pace a little and seeing if I can maintain it… Yes I know I need to be careful not to push too much and risk injury. I know.
  2. I am extremely lucky that I don’t get blisters easily. My feet are in pretty good shape and any blisters I have had have been minor. The more I talk to runners the more I realise that I am increadibly lucky. Poor Kath’s feet are in bits.
  3. Chafing is a thing, and a painful one at that. I have to be honest here. I hadn’t, naively perhaps, given chafing much thought. Well I am giving it plenty of thought today. I will spare you details but let’s just say it took me a while to find underwear that didn’t cause intense pain this morning. I think this means I need to be even more careful about what underwear to run in and vaseline may be my new best friend. My bra was ok yesterday but I am beginning to see how this is an issue I am going to have to think about. Oh joy.
  4. Roast chicken with mashed potato and celeriac, turnip, cauliflower, broccoli and carrot is an excelleRunning T-shirtnt post run meal.

To help get back to a happy place yesterday I put my favourite running T-shirt on (here it is). Then I started looking at running routes for our next long run which will be in Hamburg next weekend. We are going over for my Dad’s birthday. We go on Friday evening and come back Monday morning. The plan is to do a gentle 6 mile run/walk on Friday and then a 15 mile run on Saturday. I think I’ve found a route that means we don’t need public transport and can walk 5 minutes or so as a warm up and cool down at either end. I’ll share the route once we’ve run it (I’ll stop for a photo or two!)

Yesterday was also incredibly good for my fitbit stats. I’ve had one for a couple of weeks. I won’t bore you with details but I don’t move much unless I run it seems. On days where I don’t run I often struggle to hit the recommended 10000 steps – I tend to get around 8000 ish. When we run our short loop I get the 10000 but yesterday, with a bit of pacing round the house just before bed I got over 30000 steps. I got quite excited about that. I’ll write about the fitbit some other time but it does work to make me move a bit more. I find myself wanting to hit the 10000 target and I am also more conscious of spending long spells sitting at my desk or on the sofa so at work in particular it makes me get up and walk about and stretch more.

Anyway, 45 minute run scheduled for the morning before work. I hope it’s not quite as foggy as it has been today.

12 – I can’t f-ing do this – miles

It’s Sunday which means weigh-in day. Kath has done amazingly well and has lost 4 pounds. I’ve lost half a pound if you take pre run reading which I usually do or 2 pounds if you take post run reading. That’s it for good news.

I hated every single step of our run today, each and every single step. We set off on the flat. I had the backpack with water and a porridge bar to have around half way. The backpack was fine. I wasn’t. I felt really sluggish and tired from the start. We were running 90 seconds and walking 30 seconds. I really wanted to be able to do those intervals all the way. I was struggling much more on this route than I did when we ran it one way last weekend.

Nothing worked, counting didn’t work, my mantras didn’t work, my legs barely worked. I’m sure the canal was stunning, in fact Kath told me it was several times. I don’t remember. We got to Saltaire eventually, I hadn’t been able to think of a plausible excuse which is the only reason we made it that far. We kept going a bit to hit the 6 miles. Just over 6 miles we turned round, had some water and a chunk of a blueberry and honey porridge bar. We took one of the 90 second run intervals as a walk while we did that. Then we set off again. I made it back to Saltaire. So far so very slow and horrible, plodding but no real niggles. Not physical ones anyway. I was full of doubt though, full of ‘this is stupid, WTF am I doing?’. I got a tiny little boost as I passed a colleague running the other way and we recognised each other just in time to high 5 as we passed.

I asked Kath to tell me when we hit 8 miles so that I’d know when we had done two thirds. We’d already done 8 miles. That made me marginally hate the run less for about 30 seconds. We crossed over the canal, the little tiny tiny hill up onto the bridge was brutal. I swore under my breath. It’s followed fairly quickly by a slope up the side of one of the locks on the canal. More swearing followed by a shorter run because I ran out of steam as I got to the top and just managed a couple more steps. The longer walk was needed. I kept trying but I’d gone mentally and tiredness in my legs was giving way to niggles. My left knee didn’t hurt as such, it just felt  weak. My right calf felt tight and my lower back was starting to protest. We kept going taking the 90 second intervals one at a time and occassionally just running a minute walking a minute. At some point Kath also took the backpack off me although that made no difference really.

Melt down came at the Five Rise Locks. I just couldn’t do it. I was so disappointed. As we were coming up to the largest slope a women commented saying how we could always start again at the top. I snapped at her. She said something else and Kath did say thank you. I’m sorry if that was you. It’s just that you were tall and athletic and walking far faster than I felt capable of running. Sorry and thank you for taking the time to try and be encouraging. You did help!

At the top of the slope Kath suggested stopping at the cafe and getting a drink and having a rest as well as time to get myself together. That would have been too much like admitting defeat so I kept pushing and managed to get to crossflatts using 1 minute runs and 1 minute walks mostly. With roughly 2 miles to go I think I was in pain. The thing is, I don’t really remember. We walked almost all of the last two miles. Then, just because finishing a run with a walk is so utterly depressing we managed a little jog for the last 200 metres or so to the end.

So are there any positives? Well I guess I’m not still out there! I am not too broken now I’ve been home for a couple of hours, have done some yoga, had a bath and a roast chicken dinner and inspite of the 2 miles walking and the meltdown in Bingley which saw us actually completely stop for a few minutes we came home well within Disney pace requirements. We were at 14 and a half minutes per mile.

At mile 10 I was ready to give up and never run again. I was convinced it was a stupid idea to even attempt the marathon and wondered if I could persuade Kath to just run the half or ideally not run at all or maybe run it on her own – I’d be an awesome supporter. Now I’m disappointed and a bit anxious about distance and how I am going to manage those additional miles but I want to try. I am grateful that nothing is injured. The long runs will inevitably highlight weak spots and I’ll keep doing the yoga and the exercises I’ve been given. I am back to really wanting this. That doesn’t make me hate today’s run any less but it’s 12 miles ticked off the list, it’s 12 miles closer to where I need to be. 15 miles is next for the long runs – well I could have walked another 3 miles today – it may not have been pretty but it would have been possible. So, because today has to be all about me and I am feeling bitchy (mostly at myself), I leave you with this:

#RunningMeme Friday: I Don’t Know Who You Are…

Be careful of Liam Neeson, y'all. He has a certain set of skills/ Have a running meme you want to see featured here? Click here to submit it.

Sunday Slog and October One Big Fat Run

We did our 45 minute run today – it wasn’t fun. It wasn’t really that hard either. It was grumpy. Yes that’s it, it was grumpy running. No idea why, it just was. We ran 1 minute/30 sec intervals again. We were going to go to Bolton Abbey but that doesn’t open until 9am and we were ready earlier (thanks mainly to the clocks going back) so we went from home, past our sheep which also gave us a chance to check on our ram (he’s been poorly with an infection) and still gave us some gentle hills.

Just past our sheep, on the slope I probably dislike most in terms of uphill running round here, there was a bullfinch puffing out his bright colours. There were also several robins along the way. I wondered if there are more robins around or whether their red chests just make them easy to see at the moment. The autumn colours are getting more vibrant and stunning every day but of course soon they will disappear (oh look grumpy again). There were amarous ducks on the canal and one or two other people, walking dogs mostly. We were passed by a runner who said something about ‘…isn’t going to be any help to you’ – I didn’t hear what he said though so I initially decided that it was positive but I couldn’t shake off the niggle that he wasn’t particularly complementary. It bothered me.

I bought ‘Run Fat Bitch Run‘ by Ruth Field yesterday. I have got through Part 1 and I wonder whether that has something to do with my grumpiness. There is quite a lot in there that I agree with but I also found it incredibly patronising and not at all motivational or inspiring. I may just be in that mood – I will review the book properly when I have finished it and when I have given it a fair shot. I think possibly I like and totally agree with the idea but not with the approach. We’ll see.

This weekend is the October iteration of the One Big Fat Run which I think is a great idea. It’s a virtual 5km run and it’s just about getting that run in at some point over the weekend and sharing the achievement of getting our butts out there. Time doesn’t matter, there is no coming last because the ‘race’ isn’t a race. It’s about us – you and me – getting out there and doing it at our own pace in our own way. You print your own race number (it’s the same for everyone 001) and you can even buy a medal in the Too Fat to Run shop. So our 45 minute run today was our Big Fat Run for this month – we did a little over 5km, 3.48 miles. Because I was all grumpy though I forgot to print race numbers and I also forgot to take a finish line selfie. Sorry. Maybe you can do better! Get yourself out there and round 5km, hop, skip, dance, walk, crawl, run your way round and then share your achievement on social media using #onebigfatrun.

Oh yeah – Sunday – weigh in – stayed the same – grumpy

Autumn Running

This week has been a solid if not perfect running week. I blogged about our run last Sunday and then we also went on Monday and Tuesday – just 45 minutes each. Each of those two runs were quite hard work – that flu bug or virus or whatever hasn’t quite been banished yet I don’t think! Both runs were enjoyable too though. We went along the canal for both but in opposite directions each time. The autumn colours are stunning at the moment and it was nice to just look around. In both cases we stuck to 1 minute runs and 30 second walks and on both we took a few walk breaks out here and there. I had my moments during the runs – mostly because I didn’t find them easy and started worrying about whether I would be able to get up to any kind of distance again. The niggles started: ‘yeah ok so you can jog for a minute and then walk a bit and you can keep that going for 45 minutes… but what then?’ or ‘You’ve only done 3.6 miles and you’re tired. 26.2 isn’t going to happen, is it?’ or the worst one ‘Be realistic, you can’t do this!’ Those thoughts didn’t last too long though and overall I felt pretty postive.

We didn’t run Wednesday because we both had long days at work and Kath didn’t get home til 7pm ish. We didn’t go Thursday because we were both too tired to function. Friday we made excuses. We sold one of our sheep and then went out for tea… Today we were going to do all sorts of sheep stuff but our sheep had other ideas – we will have to try catching them again tomorrow. It did mean that we could go for a steady 5.2 mile run along the canal to Saltaire. We set off on 1 minute run intervals with 30 second walks inbetween. We did that for about the first 10 minutes or so. Then the Garmin battery died. We knew it was low so I had put my normal stopwatch on. We then ran most of the way with 2 minute runs, 30 sec walks. There was a bit in the middle – around 35 minutes where I struggled a bit and we dropped back to 1 minute or 1.5 minutes. We got to Saltaire in 1 hour and just under 4 minutes which if Google maps is accurate is 5.2 miles from where we started. That would be a pace of 12.3 minutes per mile.

The run was nice. We actually managed to chat a bit while running and we remembered to look around – mostly just at the colours but we also passed swans, lots of ducks and moorhens. The canal bank was relatively quiet. We passed a few people but really not many. Maybe the rain earlier in the day kept people away. As we were running I thought that it might be the last run before Florida where I can get away with 3/4 length pants. It’s going to be too cold for them soon. Once again my Ronhill jacket (see last blog post) was fabulous though. It actually didn’t rain while we were running but it kept the wind off  a bit.

As we were sitting in ‘Don’t Tell Titus’ enjoying fizzy water and punjabi nachos it occured to me that 5 miles was no longer a scary distance. I don’t mind 5 miles. In fact 5 miles is nice. I’m not saying the run was easy. Running is never easy but I never thought I would struggle to get the distance done. I enjoyed a lot of the run and I could have kept going at the end of the 5 miles. There were bits I didn’t like – the steep downhill at Bingley Five Rise Locks. I just don’t like downhill. I didn’t like that hill and the gentler slope further along that were both covered in leaves and were damp and thus slippy and the bit of the canal two path which runs directly along the Bingely bypass which is noisy – we just ran that bit rather than taking a walk break – I just wanted to get back to quiet as quickly as possible.

Tomorrow we are planning on a Bolton Abbey run – so there will be hills. We’re joining in the October One Big Fat Run which is a virtual 5k run taking place over this weekend  -wherever you are. I’m actually quite looking forward to it.

And we’re back

So, flu. Is that nature’s way of telling me to stay in bed for two weeks? I could have done without it. I didn’t have time to be off work ill. The thing about academia is, if you’re off sick, your work just waits for you and piles up and you get back and there’s all the work there just going ‘hello, welcome back. You were 2 weeks behind already, you’re now 4 weeks behind and the week you had planned this week was always totally unrealistic, so make that 5 weeks’. But it is  what it is, it’s just that without running I am not very good at the ‘it is what it is’ mindset. I knew running was helping me keep a level head and I’ve blogged about my mental health and my little black labrador puppy (my symbol of depression) before but I didn’t quite realise how much it makes a difference to the little day to day niggles and stresses that we all have. So while I was getting more stressed about being off work and generally feeling crap the three things I do to destress and make sense of the world around me where all out of the question: reading – couldn’t see the page without inducing a major headache, writing – ditto and running – I could barely walk upstairs. That mix made for a particularly grumpy and gloomy me.

I started feeling much better on Wednesday and went back to work Thursday. By Friday I was looking forward to trying a run. We had talked about possibly Saturday. Kath’s knee is much better and she is keen to get going on it and start getting back into things and luckily the flu didn’t hit her quite as hard as me and she is recovering well. However, we had to move our sheep from one field to another – sounds simple, it’s only 200 metres or so along a track but add in 7 perfect, experienced and willing sheep and 7 inexperienced, highly strung and skittish ones and you end up with quite a lot of running around, then there was the 5.30am start to avoid dog walkers etc and then the work to get the field and shed tidied up and sorted… We were really quite wiped out after that. Run postponed until this morning.

I woke up and was quite surprised to see it was 8am. Not sure why I was surprised, I’ve been sleeping at least 10 hours a night for the last week or so. I got up and was even more surprised to find that Kath had only been up an hour or so – she’s usually up really early. We had a cup of tea and then did 15 minutes of flexibility yoga. We drove down the hill just in case Kath’s knee relapsed and we’d need the car to get back up the hill. Then we tried running along the canal..

The autumn colours along the canal are stunning at the moment. We’re clearly not the only ones who think so – it was quite busy with walkers, runners, cyclists and dogs. We had set the intervals to one minute running/ 30 seconds walking and planned to be out for 45 minutes. It felt so good to be out. As I was trying to suck the oxygen into slightly unwilling lungs I also made a conscious effort to look around, take in the colours, watch the ducks, watch the dogs – some excited to be out, some plodding along in the slight drizzle; same as their owners really.

It would be wrong to say that the 45 minutes were easy. That’s not quite it. Running for a minute at times felt about all I could manage (but that’s because I knew it was all I had to manage!) and my body didn’t really quite agree that this running things is a good idea. It felt like I had accumulated a load of crap in my lungs, it felt like my legs were a mixture of concrete and jelly – heavy and wobbly at the same time, I felt slightly uncorordinated and not very sure-footed but I also felt a sense of being able to do it. Maybe my ‘I can’t do this’ voice still has flu, or maybe it’s gone on holiday – whatever, it wasn’t there today. Eventhough the run was hard physically it was probably the easiest run I have had mentally. I was excited to be out, running, doing, getting back on track.

We didn’t worry about pace at all. We didn’t look until we had finished. We were at just over 13 minutes per mile. It may sound slightly ridiculous but I am really quite happy about that – we used to work hard to get to 13 minutes per mile and now this was just a first jog after weeks out. I really do think we are making progress and the training is working!

Kath’s knee held up. She said it is a little achey now and she’ll be careful and get some ice on it etc but there is no pain.We came home and did 15 minutes of yoga for runners. Then Kath made pancakes but not before we got on the scales for our weigh in – I have lost a pound, Kath stayed the same. Happy Sunday.

We’re back!