Tomorrow I run a marathon. It’s my second marathon. It’s probably my last marathon. It doesn’t feel like my second. It feels like it’s the first. But maybe not. It feels like the first because I don’t feel like it is possible that I have run this distance before. But I know I have.
Over the last few days I have been nervous, terrified, grumpy and tearful. Today I feel settled. There isn’t any other way to describe it. Settled. What ever happens, happens. It’s irrelevant whether I am ready or not. It doesn’t matter that training hasn’t been ideal. This thing is happening and it is happening tomorrow. I’m sure the nerves will come back tomorrow. I am sure I will once again be terrified but for now I’m settled.
We travelled down to London this morning. Everything went smoothly and after dropping our bags at the hotel we headed over to the Expo. Maybe we were just grumpy but the organisation seemed so much more chaotic than the Expo at Disney. In spite of having more space it felt cramped, it felt like we were being herded through, it was difficult to really look at anything and I was underwhelmed by the official marathon merchandise. We got our numbers and timing chips and got out. Maybe it’s just that if you’ve done one Expo you’ve done em all. Maybe my anxiety levels were just up because of the number of people. Others certainly seemed to enjoy it.
Then we had a quick photo for the Clubhouse – the online running club I’m part of – and it was great to briefly meet some of the people I feel like I know but have never met other than on Facebook. I’ll write more about the Clubhouse and the Too Fat to Run community soon but do check out the Fat Girls’ Guide to Running blog – which has just won the best blog award at the running awards.u
Since then we’ve been taking it easy. We had some food and watched something about Lego on tv (I wasn’t really concentrating so can’t tell you anything more about the programme). Our kit bags are sorted with a change of clothes, our kit is laid out and ready, our race numbers are pinned on and timing chips attached. We are well hydrated, we’ve had a bath…
Even writing this I still feel settled. Tomorrow I’m running a marathon. Thank you for all your support!