Tag: Bolton Abbey

2.5 miles, happy runners and new ‘grumpy old woman’ level unlocked

Jess GuthLeave a comment

Week 5 complete! Yay. Today was such a mental battle. It wasn’t so much the getting out because we had already decided we were going to Bolton Abbey to run. It was such a gorgeous morning so in a way the getting out bit was easy. It was a bit chilly though. According to the car it was 4 degrees (centigrade) when we left the house and 2 when we arrived at Bolton Abbey. But the sun was out and I felt positive. I was creaky – I ran and did the first HIIT workout in forever yesterday so that’s perhaps not surprising. I decided to walk a couple of minutes before easing myself into my 30/30 run/walk intervals. I made my way up the first slope and at the top- ish I set of for the first run. It felt like running through treacle.

I could see Kath ahead and she had chosen the top path and I decided to follow her and get the slopes out of the way early. Making my way up to the top path felt impossible. My legs were heavy, my lungs burning and it felt like I was going backwards. I just made it to the top, turned right and realised that there was no downhill now. The path just sort of undulates upwards for a bit. Just as I was thinking about whether just a nice walk might be the better option today a tall runner came cheerfully striding towards me and beamed a big ‘hello’ at me. Somehow that really cheered me up and gave me enough resolve to keep going a bit. I was pondering the various meanings of ‘undulating’ in running commentary and race descriptions to try and take my mind off things but every step felt so hard. It was like I had to force my brain to force my legs to keep moving and my legs were saying no and my brain was saying no – mutiny all round.

At about half a mile the light caught my eye. I was mid way through a walk, I stopped the watch to just admire it for a bit and take a couple of photos (they don’t really do it justice). I was stopped for less than a minute, I was still puffing but I thought I might as well do a little more and shortly after another runner came flying round the corner with a little brown dog and I got another happy ‘Morning!’. Both of the runners I saw on the top path early on seemed content in their runs and cheery and like they were enjoying themselves. Somehow that helped me focus more on the positives of my run – being out, autumnal clear air, the light, the colours… . I dropped back down onto the main path down by the river to head back towards the car park. I hit a mile and the running sort of settled down and just was.

As I got closer to the car park, it got quite busy and I am clearly getting closer to my life goal of being a grumpy old woman. Groups walking together all seemed to need the entire path, dogs were mostly not under control, dogs on long leads were waddling across the path so I had to hurdle the lead, families were walking taking up all the path and just stared at me when I said ‘excuse me’ from a distance and then ‘excuse me, can I just come through please’ meaning I had to zig zag my way through. I was pissed off by the time I got to the last stretch before the Cavendish Pavilion and went through the same process and got no reaction, no attempt to move dog on lead or 3 small children to one side to leave enough room for me to get past. So I just said ‘Excuse me, please can I come past you’ for the 3rd time and when nothing happened I snapped ‘I am not stopping!’. As I said that one of the children told their mum to move out of the way and shifted creating just enough space. The mum shouted something after me and it is probably just as well I didn’t hear it. To be clear – this is not a single file path – this is a path where you can easily walk 4-5 next to each other so making space for me to come through was really not a big deal and they were coming towards me and I was already tucked away on one side – so no excuse really.

I was glad to clear the gate and continue towards the car park where there was actually space to avoid people. My plan said 2.5 miles but I had told myself that I could stop at 2 as I am still one run behind from week 4. But I figured I might as well get the 2.5 done given that I was out and not completely dead yet. I ran alongside the river on the wet grass and there was something rebellious and fun about running on the grass getting wet feet. My watch was running out of battery and when it leaves the battery warning across the screen so you can’t see any of the stats so I knew it had beeped for 2 miles and I knew I was going really slow. I sort of guessed that if I did another 8 runs after the 2 mile beep I should be round about 2.5 miles if I was guessing my pace about right. Turns out I wasn’t far off at all – Garmin said 2.51 and Strava being Strava stole a bit and makes it bang on 2.5 miles. Week 5 done. Happy.

Feeling more normal

Jess Guth1 Comment

I completed 2 weeks of the running plan – at the end of week 2 – which is now nearly 2 weeks ago and the post has been sitting here in draft as my attention was elsewhere. Completing week 2 doesn’t sounds like much but I have not actually managed to complete 2 weeks of any training programme for a very long time. So just having gone out and ticked off the 6 runs on the plan feels like a win. I did the 3rd run of week 2 at Bolton Abbey. I have written about our Bolton Abbey loop previously and it’s been a go to place for lots of running adventures. It was nice to be running somewhere other than my immediate neighbourhood. It was a hard run and no easier than the previous ones and I had all sorts going on in my head. But, remember that for run 2 week 2 I said that that run somehow felt more normal. Well I had that same sort of feeling again and I have been thinking about that a bit. The first few runs just felt clunky and weird and like I’d forgotten how to run. I didn’t feel at all like running was something I should be doing or that I belonged out there. Run 3 of Week 2 seemed to build on the vague realisation from run 2 that maybe, just maybe I do belong out there. While the run was still annoyingly hard and I was huffing and puffing, everything felt less weird, less clunky.

So I wanted to think about belonging in running and what my feeling of clunky and not normal means in relation to that. Over the years I have had my share of imposter syndrome – in relation to all sorts but let’s stick with the running for now. When I first started running I didn’t feel like I belonged at all. The name of my blog did not originally have the ‘not’ in brackets and I usually felt self-conscious and out of place. I am not sure when that changed. But it did change, because looking back at it now, I did feel like I belonged, like taking up space on the trails was just as much my right as anyone else’s and like running was something normal. I always had the race or event nerves, I often felt like maybe that wasn’t really my place. Knowing that you are going to finish towards the back and possibly last doesn’t necessarily make you feel like you belong somewhere – but I did belong. At some point along the running rollercoaster I stopped feeling like the running world wasn’t for me and even when I still worried about being too slow or people having to wait for me, I never felt like I was in the wrong place doing the wrong thing.

So where am I now? Certainly the first few runs were pretty awful. As were my stop start attempts over the last 18 months or whatever. I feel self conscious, uncoordinated, clunky and like I am taking up space in all the wrong ways. I’m worrying what other people see when they see me running, I worry about all the wobbly bits, the slowness, the huffing and puffing… all of it. I think the feeling of clunkiness is actually about self consciousness. It’s about worrying what other people think, it’s about being aware of my t-shirt clinging to my curves, my running pants being, well running pants – so no hiding anything, my sports bra doing its best but its best perhaps not being quite un-bouncy enough. I’m not running clunky, I’m thinking clunky. So the feeling of more normal that I experienced at the end of week 2 is I think just a sign that I got out of my own head a bit. Run 2 that week was the first loop I did and I was excited about that and remember thinking about where exactly I would end up and if the loop was long enough or too long etc- so thinking about something other than me running. And run 3 was at Bolton Abbey and it was still quiet so it was really just me. If there are no people, there’s no need to worry about what they think and anyway I was too distracted by taking in the beginnings of autumn, the still subtle but now noticeable change of colour and the different air. I was looking around more, watching a heron on the middle of the river as I ran or trying to spot the long tailed tits that I could so clearly hear.

I am a long way off feeling like I belong in the running world again and I suspect I am equally far away from not feeling self conscious but I’ll take the less clunky and more normal whenever I can get it and I’ll just have to trust that the rest will come. One step at a time, gently.

Ice, Ice Go Away

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Running is sort of on semi-hold while the weather decides what it wants to do. I’m trying not to be grumpy about it. I get stupidly scared in snow and ice. While part of me really wanted to go and play in the snow, face some of those fears and rediscover some of the winter childhood joy, now is not the time to risk injury or to add to stress levels. So running is paused until the last of the ice has melted and the paths are safe again.

For once I am not too concerned about the pause. I have been doing my Body Coach App workouts so I am at least doing something. I am also confident that I can run/walk the distance on my plan so am happy to just tick those weeks off for now and pick up the plan wherever it falls when I can get outside again. This weekend I am to do a 2.5 mile run and maybe, just maybe I can do that tomorrow.

I seem to be managing 1 run a week in-between cold snaps. Last Tuesday I had a therapy appointment at Bolton Abbey and took the opportunity to have a little trot out while there. I was only going to run/walk from the Abbey to the Cavendish Pavilion, grab a coffee and walk back to the car park with it. However when I came out of my session the path towards the bridge across the river and beyond towards the Cavendish Pavilion looked really busy with dog walkers and families with small children. I really didn’t fancy trying to navigate my way through that lot. I briefly considered not running and just heading home but the sun was shining and my brain was whirring from therapy. Running would be good.

So I set off in the opposite direction for a little trot out along the river and soon moved off the path onto grass. It had that delightful consistency that you only get from slightly frozen wet fields – squishy and crunchy at the same time and a little bit spongy. I trotted along in my 30seconds / 30 seconds run/walk intervals and wondered why it felt like such hard work. Then I remembered that for the last year or so I have hardly really run properly off road. The bit of running I have done has been road and canal towpath – and the towpath locally here is proper path not mud. I have not run on grass and mud for absolutely ages. And it showed.

The section I ran is only about half a mile each way so I ran a little loop round the field which also tested out my feet and ankles more on the slightly longer grass and avoided the muddy bits where lots of people had walked. Then I ran back up to the Abbey and round it back towards the car park to make up my 30 minutes. It wasn’t a great run in terms of pace or even how I felt doing it – a bit sluggish and can’t be bothered but it was 30 minutes of moving my moomin butt in the sun, it helped my brain stop whirring and it felt good.

The run really got my quads and I was sore for a couple of days after but not sore enough to not do the Body Coach stuff. I have a week to go on Cycle 1 so I’ll do a review then. I’m quite enjoying it all. I’ve switched rest days around a bit this week as I was just dead yesterday but overall I think it’s going pretty well. Now, if the weather goddess would be so kind and remove the ice, I can get going properly on that 10km plan!

A Bolton Abbey Walk

Jess Guth2 Comments

The Lakeland Lapland Festive Virtual Ultra continues. I have given up the idea of doing much running on this. I want to make a contribution every day if I can and my feet are struggling a little – and they struggle more when I run. I had my therapy session over at Bolton Abbey earlier today and I was very much looking forward to a walk afterwards. I had my heart set on doing a sort of figure of 8 loop from the abbey to the Cavendish Pavilion and then on to Barden Bridge and back. I was however a little worried about how my feet would hold up. Once I set off though I realised I’d be fine, they actually feel better when I am using them.

I walked slowly towards the stepping stones with the abbey in the background and crossed the bridge across the River Wharfe. There were a couple of people walking on the bottom path that forms the Welly Walk so I walked up the top path and didn’t see anyone else until I got the bridge at the Pavilion. It was nice just walking along lost in thought and enjoying the sunshine. I crossed the bridge and went to get a coffee and walked on towards the Strid sipping it. There were a few people about but not very many and wherever possible I took the route they weren’t. I caught up with some people just before the aqueduct and decide to just fall in at their pace and stay a few metres behind them. I stopped to watch a dipper for a minute or two and then carried on – the people in front went across the aqueduct and I had the path to Barden Bridge to myself again.

I briefly stopped on Barden Bridge, like I always do and took a picture before enjoying walking on spongy grass and saying hello to the sheep as I walked back towards the Pavilion. There were loads of little birds around and squirrels everywhere. The sun was actually quite warm and I stopped again to watch a pair of red kites overhead. as I headed back into the wood on the path there were a few people coming the other way which confused me a bit and initially I didn’t know why. After the 3rd or 4th person passed me I realised what was wrong – they were going the wrong way. The estate is operating a one way system to help with social distancing and for a second I panicked that I had got it wrong and it was me going the wrong way. I wasn’t. I don’t really mind but my brain somehow wasn’t prepared for meeting people coming the other way and I found it irritating because it meant I actually had to look where I was going more than I wanted to.

I got back to the bridge by the Pavilion and a walker asked about the length of the circular route or what I’d recommend. We had a little chat and together managed to persuade his little dog that the gaps in the wood on the bridge would not swallow him up alive or despatch him straight into the depths of the Wharfe. I took the opportunity for a toilet stop and then wandered across the long long car park alongside the river. I was getting a little tired now but the sun was still shining and I found myself smiling. As I went through the gate to the field I had to cross there’s a sign asking you to pick your own path so I did just that and turned left to stay right next to the river. I went down to a little pebble beach and then back up the steep hill to the road.

The final section took me into the Priory Church to light a couple of candles. I’m not religious. I don’t believe in God and even less in religion but I do very much believe in the power of silence, reflection and light and they can often be found in churches. Just as I lit the candles a lawnmower started up outside so the quiet didn’t quite work but it still felt nice to pause for a second and stand and just be. I walked through the cemetery and back up to the car park for a total of just over 12 kms.

A walk with running bursts

Jess GuthLeave a comment

Happy first day of meteorological spring. It’s sunny in patches and windy here. Not freezing cold but not exactly warm either. Except that there is a noticeable warmth in the sun now. It’s no longer a distant ball of light in the sky. It’s like it is thinking about maybe sharing some of that warmth and just slowly testing out what that might feel like.

Since the session on Thursday I have done very little. I could hit you with all the usual excuses but it just is what it is. Some days I can want to do something, really really want to do it, have very intention of doing it, not understand really why I am not doing it but still not be able to do it. Some days that just is the way it is.

Today threatened to be interesting in that sense. I’d gone to bed really early yesterday. I slept on and off for 12 hours and when I woke up Kath wasn’t there. I have no idea why I found this worrying or odd. She had said she might go for a run. But I couldn’t see a note, the house was eerily quiet, I walked all round it and even checked under the sofa (FFS, she’s not a cat!) and panic was setting in a little. So I ran back upstairs and got back into bed to hide. Then I saw the note – you know the one that wasn’t there earlier (obviously it was) and then I just felt silly. Great start to the day that.

We went to Bolton Abbey. It was tempting to say we’d just go for a nice walk, to just forget about running… but trust in the process remember. Don’t think about it too much, just tick off the runs, tick off the exercises, just follow the plan. Ok well, I’m already behind on the plan but never mind. 30 minutes was required for the next run on the plan so we made our way up to the Strid and back. We basically walked and threw in a few short bursts of running really concentrating on form. The bursts varied from 10 to maybe 25 seconds and some were on the flat, some were down and some were up and some were a mix. So I guess really we went for a walk with some running drills thrown in. The focus was on knee drive and not heel striking but landing much more mid foot. It was ok. It’s done. I feel less panicky and less silly.

Another one ticked off. Another sticker on my chart, another step close to believing its possible. And another cup of Bolton Abbey coffee to soak up the sun and watch the people go by with.