Tag: Bolton Abbey

How is it Saturday again already?

Jess GuthLeave a comment

I don’t really understand time. How is it that when I was a kid I could explore whole worlds in a day, summers lasted lifetimes and double maths on a Saturday (yes Saturday!) morning could drag on for what seemed like weeks. Now, some meetings feel like those double maths lessons but mostly the weeks just fly by. It was February a minute ago and I’m sure Kath’s little big run and that core class I wrote about were really just yesterday… Obviously they weren’t but the week has once again just disappeared.

So after Monday’s core class I did absolutely naff all exercise wise until Thursday. Tuesday was busy at work and I had a work thing in the evening. I had intended to get up and run before heading into work but that actually requires waking up and getting out of bed and I just couldn’t bring myself round enough to make that happen. Same thing on Wednesday. At least on Tuesday I did walk a fair bit but on Wednesday I think I barely broke 4000 steps. Thursday I also didn’t do much but went to a Mind class at the gym. The class was actually nice and stretched out some areas that needed it but it was full of chatty women and I was not feeling sociable. Friday we went to yoga first thing and I do love that yoga class. It’s calm and structured and clear. After that we had therapy at Bolton Abbey and while Kath was in her session I went for a little run. It was the first time with the next set of intervals on the Couch to 5km plan and the first time in ages I had a real inner dialogue. It went something like this.

  • I’m supposed to walk for 5 minutes but I’ve set the intervals already and set the watch, the intervals don’t fit into 5 minutes
  • Then walk for 3.5, that fits
  • Ok
  • 90 seconds running is 30 seconds longer than 60 seconds running
  • yes, yes it is. I can’t breathe
  • My legs are heavy
  • Can’t breathe
  • Eek – dog
  • Fuck still 50 seconds to go, I’ve been running forever
  • Can’t do it, still 40 seconds to do
  • Get a grip
  • Can’t, too hard. Might need to stop… ooh beeps

That first interval was ridiculous. I was unsettled, breathing was awful and my legs were uncooperative. I really thought I might need to give it up I felt so terrible. I walked the 2 minutes and when the beeps came for the 90 second run, I set off tentatively. I felt ok though. Running on grass definitely felt harder than the road running I have been doing but it also felt nice. I also died on every little slope and there was a fair amount if huffing and puffing. I ran some completely random circles across the grass to not get tangled up with dog walkers and overall I wouldn’t say I particularly enjoyed it even if it was a lovely day in a lovely place.

However, it was a nice opportunity to test out some trail shoes I have had for a while but hardly worn because mostly I have been running on road or canal towpath. They were good – in fact they felt better on the grass than they did when I wore them last weekend where I was on hard compacted paths. Anyway, I was supposed to run for 90 seconds and walk for 2 minutes five times. In the end I did that 7 times because that took me back to the car in a loop. I struggled with it but it’s done and it was just one of those runs that just needed to be over. It was also another example of how weird time is. That first and last 90 second runs went on for months! The 2 minute walks were over in a flash mostly but the one after the 3rd run was so long I checked my watch to make sure I hadn’t missed the beeps.

I am back to road running today because I am going to combine running with running some errands (so literally running errands?). I’ll let you know how it goes.

Some runs just need to be over

Jess Guth1 Comment

Today’s run was not fun. None of it. But it’s done. The original plan was to do two 7 mile-ish loops at Bolton Abbey. However, we managed to not pick up Kath’s running vest when we set off so she had no phone and no water and no fuel. So rather than risking anything silly we agreed on one loop and I gave her one of my bottles of Tailwind. We set off and for the first while I could see Kath ahead of me – the distance between us getting further with every walk break I took. I felt pretty good. I dropped down past the Abbey and jogged across the bridge and started walking up the slope. Not a slope I had ever planned to run anyway. When I started running again nothing felt right. And that was the story of the run.

I didn’t settle in at all, not to the rhythm of the run walk, not to the running and not even to the walking. I walked more than I ran. My brain was noisy and random and even though I tried to consciously find joy – there just wasn’t any. I briefly glimpsed some as I hopped through golden crunchy leaves just before mile 5 and then when I saw a heron at 6.5 miles but otherwise it was just meh. My breathing was wrong, something always hurt and every time I won the argument about it not being real and whatever had been hurting went ‘oh ok then, yes I am fine’, something else would pop up and hurt. In fact it was so predictable by about mile 4 that it became funny. At about the same time I was also suddenly really hungry. I had some Tailwind and walked a bit drafting a rant blog about the awfulness of running in my head.

At every opportunity where I could cut the run short by doing a smaller loop, I had a real battle and every time I carried on along the planned route. I couldn’t quite decide whether to tell myself I was an idiot and should just stop or whether to be proud of myself. When I passed the aqueduct, the last point at which a shorter loop was possible, I thought I might settle in. Nope. I kept coming across people. I mean, obviously there were going to be people, and everyone was friendly but I didn’t want people in my space and I was always a bit surprised that I sounded both strong and cheerful as I said ‘Good Morning’. Anyway, with a million imaginary niggles and thoughts bouncing around everywhere I eventually finished with only the last 2 miles actually being within Disney allowed pace. I consigned the run to the ‘done’ category and joined Kath for food and coffee at the Tea on the Green cafe.

The mileage is ramping up but so far my body seems to be coping well. There are no actual niggles following Tuesday’s 9 miles and today’s 7. In fact Tuesday’s 9 miles were so delightfully uneventful I should have dedicated a post to them. I ran/walked the first 7 of them at remarkably consistent pace and then I ran out of daylight and decided the safest thing to do would be to walk the rest of the stretch along the canal until I could see properly again on the roads and when I got back onto roads with street lamps I basically just had the hill to walk up. Today’s run might have been pretty awful but like all runs, it ended and the memory bank of running the loop previously and of getting through previous awful runs was helpful. It didn’t have to be pretty, it just had to be done.

Post Covid Running

Jess GuthLeave a comment

Well I had Covid again and it wasn’t nice. It sparked the 100 Days of Wonder blog series on my other blog so that’s something fun and light to come out of it but running wise – meh.

Honestly I am quite scared to run. What if my lungs just really don’t work? What if getting ready for Dopey is now completely impossible? Well being too scared to run isn’t going to help with that is it! We went for a walk at Bolton Abbey once we’d both tested negative and that was ok but we were soo tired afterwards and maybe we went too soon because we both felt crap again for a few days after.

Then I put off trying to go out for a few days. Then I went to a work thing in Worcester and somehow the idea of a little tourist run was easier to wrap my head around than just a run. I woke up early anyway so it’s not like I had to drag myself out of bed. I stood outside the hotel for ages waiting for my watch to pick up the GPS signal but it didn’t so in the end I just set Strava to track. I ran down the road towards the Cathedral. It was still dark so it wasn’t your usual tourist sightseeing run. I ran in intervals but skipped the odd one here and there but also stopped to take pictures.

After the cathedral I went a bit random but was vaguely thinking to head to the river and see just how dark the path would be and make an assessment as to safety at that point. Once I got there, the path was light enough but it seemed deserted. I hesitated for a second but then thought that I was on my own anyway and whether I went down a well lit path along the river or a not well lit narrow street probably made little difference. I saw another runner going the opposite way but that was it. I stopped to say hello to the Kleve Swan (donated by the town Kleve in Germany which is twinned with Worcester) and then made my way back through town and to the hotel. It was only a short 2 miles loop but that was definitely enough for my lungs. It felt positive to be out though.

Today we went to Bolton Abbey again to try a run. My lungs still feel heavy (don’t know how else to describe it really) and I was a bit worried about the slopes. Running on the flat is one thing… We set off, each doing our own thing and Kath soon disappeared out of view. I was struggling mentally. On reflection I was actually physically fine but as I was running my mind raced about worrying about how my lungs felt, how high my heart rate was and was that a niggle in my knee? I struggled to settle down and then I saw a couple walking ahead and for whatever reason I absolutely did not want to have to run past them. Anxiety levels were suddenly sky high. I did another walk and run interval and then I turned round. As soon as I did I settled down a bit. I told myself I could just run/walk back to the car and then stop.

After a little while I started laughing at myself. I turned round because I didn’t want to run past people on a wide footpath. What an idiot. I settled into the running more and forgot to worry about how I felt physically. I then decided that I would do at least 2 miles. That took me just a bit further than the car so I thought I might as well keep going a bit and go to the end of the car park. I ran on the grass and despite the damp creeping into my shoes it felt nice to be on the softer ground. I looped round watching a heron fly off into the distance. when I got close to the car I was still a bit off 3 miles so I kept going a bit, headed over the bridge over the Wharfe and turned back. 3 miles was fine. The lungs are still a bit heavy, it was slow and ploddy and clearly I am having a slightly mad phase but I got out and that’s progress. I waited for Kath to complete her equally positive loop and had a chat with a curious jackdaw.

Solstice Saunter 2024

Jess GuthLeave a comment

Good Morning from the muppet who didn’t really stretch after completing the 5 mile Solstice Saunter yesterday. I’m not too stiff or achey but I didn’t sleep all that well because my body seemed to be working its way along each niggle to try and work out what to do with it – so it felt like I was mostly awake with something or other hurting a bit.

I like the Solstice Saunter. It’s held at Bolton Abbey annually on the day of the Summer Solstice. It’s a 5 mile undulating course which is very familiar because most of it is on our usual Bolton Abbey loop. As an added bonus the medals are always stunning. I was looking for to it. At the back of my mind was that little bit of doubt given that I didn’t exactly find parkrun a breeze and 5 miles on a hilly course is a different thing altogether from 3 miles on mostly flat. But I always wanted to go and do this.

So we set off, probably a bit too early really and got there about an hour before race start. We picked up our numbers, went to the loos, sat by the river for a bit and eventually wandered down to the start. At the start Kath and I split and Kath went further forward (I don’t think she quite went to the ‘nearly quick’ section, the name of which made me laugh). I stayed at the back with the slow jog/fast walk crowd.

We set off in waves and as we did I smiled and noted how the first jog felt nice and easy, good slow place, nothing silly or exciting as so often can happen at the start of a race. I immediately dropped into 30 second run/ 30 second walk intervals. I was around a couple of people running with dogs and neither had particularly good control of the dogs so it was slightly annoying. I thought about dropping back and keeping them in front of me but after a couple of run intervals I had left them firmly behind me and forgot about them. Then for about half a mile I kept going past and then being overtaken by a woman who was running constantly. I would go past on my run and then she would come past on my walk. Eventually though she moved ahead and I was quite happy to let her go. I was a mile in and it wasn’t easy.

Mile 2 has a lot of up in it and I didn’t even try running that. I was already feeling it and I wanted to enjoy it and stay positive so for mile 2 I walked up the hills and ran/walked down. It was a slow mile but quite a nice one. After that mile I was in a sort of bubble. I could just about see the person in front of me and I could just about see a couple of people behind me but basically I was on my own. It was perfect. I ran/walked fairly randomly for the rest of the loop really. I topped briefly at the water station for a conversation about the universe expanding – yep more random.

As I got close to the aqueduct there was a photographer and as I approached I said ‘You’re going to make me run aren’t you’? He insisted he wouldn’t but I did anyway and kept going for a bit once I had passed him. Then there’s another uphill so I marched up that. That was a fairly consistent pattern, power march up, jog down. The route here is up and down and not in a straight line so mostly I couldn’t see anyone. Bliss!

I got to the bottom of nemesis hill and could suddenly see a few people who were closer than I had thought they would be from when I had seen them earlier. I tiny little competitive streak appeared from somewhere deep down. I marched up nemesis hill as I have done so many times and when I got to the top I had gained on the people in front quite significantly even though they were on the downhill. Game on! I jogged down and was now pretty close. I also still had just over half a mile to go though, so let’s not peak too soon. I stayed behind them as they jogged and I ran/walked. With every run I was getting closer and I wasn’t dropping back in my walks. With about a quarter of a mile to go I passed them. At about the same time my left calf starting getting a little crampy on the run segments so I slowed off a little but kept the interval. Then I popped up over the last hill, saw Kath and broke into a job that somehow I kept going to the finish. The field finish was tricky terrain on tired legs and it felt like I just sort of threw myself over the finish line. Yay done.

It was hard. I walked lots and lots. It was slow. But it was a great event and a lovely evening. And just look at the medal!

Good enough is bloody brilliant!

Jess Guth1 Comment

Nearing the end of January and I haven’t run as much this month as I wanted to but I have definitely made progress. As of today I have run just under 20 miles – not far off a 3rd of the entirety of last year’s mileage. I have done some yoga almost every day. Sometimes only 10 minutes and often sabotaged (supported?) by Storm Cat but this is huge progress and I have done a few strength and HIIT sessions. I have lots to feel good about really. And I am trying. There’s that niggling voice in my head that keeps reminding me that I am way behind where I should be given the things I have coming up. A voice that keeps telling me that I am insane to think I can do the Yorkshire 3 Peaks in 90 days. A voice that keeps pointing out the obvious fact that I am still close to the heaviest I have ever been. A voice that will not accept that losing about 6 pounds over the course of a month is fine, good and steady progress and instead insists that the weight loss needs to be faster.

Storm Cat helping with Yoga

But while the voice is there, it is less forceful than it sometimes is. Yesterday I eventually managed to get out in the afternoon. I had all sorts of plans when I was still sitting on the sofa. I was going to run the 2 miles down the hill and along the canal a bit before turning round and running 2 miles back including the hill. But as I set off it soon became very clear that my lungs were not playing. I couldn’t get air in, I was puffed after just a couple of 30 second running intervals and the idea of taking a walk break out was ludicrous. It was tempting to just give up and there was a time where I would have done. But not yesterday. I physically shrugged and said to myself that it would be silly to turn back. I’d done the hardest bit and got out the door and being out was good. Plan A might not be on the cards but doing something is better than doing nothing. So I carried on, I stuck to my 30 seconds runnings followed by 30 seconds walking and gritted my teeth. The voice was there but it never got into monologue mode.

Me after the longest 2 miles ever

My back was niggly (lack of core strength) and I sounded more like a steam train than human but somehow I made it to a mile. ‘So’, I thought to myself ‘If I just do that again, I will have run 2 miles, and 2 miles is good’. On I went, suddenly conscious of the people along the canal, conscious of what I looked and sounded like, the assumptions people would make. The voice got louder and at about 1.5 miles I nearly stopped and walked home. I was, rarely for me, running with music so instead of stopping I just turned the volume up and focused on the lyrics to push the voice out of my head and then, suddenly there we were, 2 miles done. Everything seemed to hurt, I felt slightly dizzy and I couldn’t get air into my lungs fast enough. I started walking home and I recovered. I was fine. I did it. Perhaps not plan A but I was out and moving. Good enough.

This morning we went to Bolton Abbey and right up until we set off I was looking forward to it. I like running at Bolton Abbey. I like running through the wooded bits, I like the paths – not really trail so my scaredy-cat brain doesn’t need to worry about mud and slippery and all the silly things it worries about – but not tarmac either. I like listening to the birds, looking out for herons (none today) and the otters which continue to be elusive. I like listening to the musings of the river that sometimes whispers in confidence and sometimes shouts in anger but mostly just tells her own story as she meanders. But Bolton Abbey isn’t flat and I was not at all sure I had it in me today. Plan A was the Barden Bridge loop, Plan B was the Aqueduct loop and Plan C was to run to the Strid and back (actually plan C was to get back in the car and find somewhere for coffee and I wasn’t far off implementing Plan C after having gone for a pee). Kath set off to run the Barden Bridge loop and for a while I could see here ‘Dopey in Training’ shirt make steady progress ahead of me. She looked comfortable (she later said she wasn’t and it took her ages to settle) and that made me smile.

I walked the first 3 minutes to get moving and then I started running 30 second intervals. I was struggling physically from the go. Lungs struggled and my back was sore. I was in real danger of spiralling into negativity and just giving up. But I was wearing my new Dopey in training shirt. Kath bought it for us for my birthday, we designed it together and it came the other day. I couldn’t give up on its debut. I needed to give it a proper inaugural outing! I thought about what doing the short proud could look like today. Well so much of Dopey and certainly the training is actually just getting it done. It isn’t always pretty and more does it have to be. It’s about getting in the right mental place to just grind it out. So doing the shirt proud today meant doing the distance today, no excuses, even if it meant walking lots. I walked up the path by the Strid noting that Plan C was conquered – I was not turning round now. I ran down the hill and managed a few more proper 30/30 intervals along the flat. I was coming up on the aqueduct. The loop would still be 3.5 ish miles, that’s good. I’ve been struggling so doing that would be progress, right? Maybe – but that’s not what I set out to do today. Remember: The distance. Today. No excuses. Dopey. Proud. Nothing was seriously hurting, nothing was getting worse. I was tired, I was huffing and puffing but I was fine.

I carried on. I saw Kath on the other side of the river still looking good. I waved. I smiled and dropped back into running intervals. I’d walked a fair bit but I was doing ok. I hot two miles and in spite of being a chunk slower even than yesterday, it hadn’t felt too bad. I crossed Barden Bridge, I tried to stick to the 30/30 intervals on the flat and once past the aqueduct again I walked the slopes, ran the downhill and did a bit of both on the flat. Nemesis hill doesn’t seem so bad just walking and I ran down the other side. Back on the flat I tried to drop back into 30/30 but my calves were cramping so I jogged/hopped /walked from random landmark to random landmark. Through the last gate, onto the bridge and I could see Kath sitting with a coffee at the Cavendish Pavilion. I jogged to her and was done.

The running itself was pretty awful but it was a great run. I got a little bit better at doing hard. I reminded myself that the little niggly voice is not in control. January has not been perfect but it has been good enough and good enough is bloody brilliant!