I’ve put on a pound and a half. I’m not too grumpy about that. I had a couple of pints, cake, two meals out and pizza. I am pleased it’s only a pound and a half really. I’m grumpy because I’m impatient and I want to be making progress and this is supposed to get easier. Instead I seem to be struggling more than ever with 45 minute runs and 3 milers on our ‘easy’ week and just the idea of running generally.

So Tuesday we had a good postive run which I blogged about in the last post. The next run was supposed to be Thursday but I was curl-up-in-a-ball-and-cry tired so we postponed the run until Friday. Kath had suggested upping the running to 3 minutes (with a 30 second rest still) and that seemed sensible. the 2.5 minutes running had been going really well. So Friday was a decent run. We went at a slow pace just to see what the 3 minutes would be like and actually I didn’t find that harder than 2.5 minutes. I did wonder though whether it would start to tell if we picked up the pace.

Saturday was our planned 3 miles and we also still had a 45 minute from the other week to catch up on. We had planned to go to Bolton Abbey and run the 45 mins on Saturday and then do the 3 miles Sunday (today) but the Kath had a disturbed night and the kitten woke her up at 4.30am ish so by the time I got up she was tired and hungry.

We went out for breakfast instead and postponed the run until the afternoon. We decided to try the 3 miles. We nearly didn’t go. We’d watched the Challenge Cup Final and has pizza, we were both tired and it would have been easy to put it off. We did get our backsides out of the house though and went to run along the canal – a simply 1.5 miles one way and then back. It was horrible. I felt sluggish, then I felt sick, my left knee felt uncomfortable and my right leg felt a bit weird. 11 and a half minutes per mile pace and to be fair I did feel more awake and positive after having done it. It also highlighted that pizza and salad are not at all good for pre-run food. It was just over two hours between eating and running but I won’t be having pizza and salad before running again!

So this morning. The cats were being rowdy again so we were both awake early. We did 15 minutes of flexibility yoga (I didn’t bend at all this morning) and then went to set off from home for our ‘past the sheep’ loop. My right leg felt weird. I can’t really explain it. It feels sort of tight and weak at the same time. Like it needs stretching out but also like it might give way. It’s not pain as such, it’s just unpleasant and unnerving. We set off for the seocnd run interval and I nearly fell over. I have a sort of slightly odd tension in the right side of my butt and it sort of carries down my right leg.

It is hard to explain how I felt walking back home. It’s always me that pulls out of a run, it’s always me that lets us down. I am so worried that I have basically reached my limit, that plodding round for 45 minutes 3 times a week is my level and that if I push beyond that with a longer run I basically just break. For a minute there I just wanted to give it all up. Why bother with something that I am never going to be good at?  I’m going to try more yoga and stretching throughout the day and see where I am this afternoon. I’d really like to do the run and get rid of the gap on the training plan. It’s only 29 days to go to the Nottingham Half Marathon. I need to get my act together and keep it together – and ideally not break.