I thought it might be interesting to share a pre run blog rather than just writing about running after the run. (For my academic friends and readers – I am in no way work avoiding, no, not at all, not even a little bit. No!)

I have just put the kettle on for yet more coffee but then remembered that we are going running after work so turned the kettle off again and filled my big bottle of water up instead. I am utterly rubbish at drinking water throughout the day. Always have been. Little and often doesn’t work – it takes discipline and willpower. Anyway, here I am sitting at my desk trying to remember to drink water so that I don’t start the run dehydrated… I don’t want to run.

I can think about it in the abstract – it would be lovely to go for a run along the canal and see if the heron is about, maybe even the kingfisher. It will be lovely to tick another run off the list…bla bla bla. The reality is I am already trying to think of excuses. So far I have:

• too busy – loads of stuff I need to get done. I could really do with spending a few hours just filing emails
• My legs are sore from the uphill run the other day (but they’re not really)
• My calf muscle is a bit sore (it’s not, it is just a little tight)
• We could do yoga instead (thus invalidating excuse number 1 on this list)
• We could go for a run in the morning instead (actually we are going running tomorrow, too)
• We need to spray our sheep against flies (yes we do – doesn’t impact on running though)

No doubt I will think of a few more before I get home. I have spoken to a few people recently who enjoy running and they complain about not finding the time and desperately trying to squeeze in a run here or there. Hm. I’m not sure what to make of that. I can’t imagine desperately trying to find time to squeeze in a run!

Anyway, I don’t want to go for a run. I don’t want to get all hot and sweaty. I don’t want to be reminded that the half marathon is in 10 weeks and I am rather a long way off being anywhere near ready. I don’t want to be conscious of the fact that Kath is a far better runner than I am and would be smashing our times if she was doing this on her own. I don’t want to run. There.

Don’t worry, I am not actually having a bad day. I will (probably) go running and it will (probably) be fine. I have this little battle every time. I had it the first time I put my trainers on to set out on the first run in the training programme and for every run since. This is what goes on in my head – sometimes very much consciously, sometimes just in the background. It’s just running – maybe – but actually it is so much more than that. It’s a big deal for me and as I keep going through this training programme I am beginning to realise how big that deal actually is. It’s a battle and I don’t do losing!