Airports and strange ideas

I’ve been quiet – sorry. It has been a crazy crazy crazy week. Work was not fun at all but I can’t and don’t really want to go into that here. Then I was quite excited to be heading to Warsaw on Friday to teach a unit on an English Law course for Polish Lawyers. Well Friday was just a travel nightmare. My first flight was delayed by 3 hours, I missed my connection, I was rebooked and that flight was 3 hours delayed. I didn’t get to Warsaw in time to teach in the evening… The teaching on Saturday was great – a long day which was then followed with a little legal/political/historical walking tour of Warsaw and dinner with my host. I am now back at Warsaw airport waiting for yet another delayed flight….

While I have been sitting here watching people go by I have had several rather unfamiliar and totally strange ideas and thoughts – all about running. The first was a compeltely sudden ‘I wish I could go for a run’ thought. I have never had that before. I have never actually really wanted to go for a run. Mostly I look forward to the sense of achievement afterwards and am indifferent about the actual doing of it at best.  Sometimes I look forward to it in the abstract when I know I have to go later and I try and trick myself into thinking that I really want to do it. Often I don’t want to go and have to remind myself why I’m doing this but today, sitting here I actually want to run just for the sake of running. Weird.

I woke up this morning with a stinking cold. My eyes and nose are constantly streaming so running wouldn’t be a good idea anyway. That is a perfect excuse, right? Well I am actuall kind of gutted. We have the Scarborough 10km race coming up next weekend and so I wondered if maybe I am gutted because I am concerned about the training for that etc but as I sit here and let my slightly foggy brain drift, I really don’t think that’s it. I think I miss running. I haven’t been since Tuesday, nearly a week. I actually think I miss it and that is not something I ever ever ever expected to feel. I always hoped that I might manage to keep running after the marathon but I always thought it was something that was more about discipline and just doing it and one day maybe not acually hating it. Now I wonder whether I might actually just keep going because maybe, just maybe there is something about it I actually do enjoy.

I have also been reflecting on my running. I never think that I am doing anything special at all. I always think I am stupidly slow and crap at it. However, the reaction people have when I talk to them about running suggests otherwise. People seem impressed. I guess most people do not run long distance. And maybe it’s time I gave this wobbly, slightly creaky body of mine a bit more credit. It can do stuff most people never even attempt. I’m not sure how I feel about that, it’s a strange thought.

Running is also having an impact on body image and how I look at myself and others. No that’s not quite right actually. I just don’t bother with the mirror. I used to cringe a bit sometimes looking in the mirror and think I really ought to shift a few pounds (and a few more). I don’t remember the last time I’ve done that. I just don’t give my shape or look a second thought really. Of course I still have my self conscious moments but they’re slightly different. I may need the fog to clear from my brain before I can articulate that better.

Kath tried a little run while I was away. She said just 1 minute runs and just home from our sheep but the knee held up. I am quite excited about the prospect of having my running partner back. It would be amazing to have her with me at Scarborough and I like the idea of just taking it really easy and taking in the stunning sea-front as we go round. Fingers crossed. Kath has also been notified that she hasn’t got a place for the London Marathon. I presume I haven’t either but I haven’t been told yet. I’d like to have something lined up post Florida to make sure we keep running. So I have just spent the best part of an hour sitting here looking at races for next spring/early summer. Any sugestions? I have looked at the Hamburg marathon but am a little scared at the cut off time there. I have also looked at Edinburgh – Maybe the half? I am looking at races! That’s just crazy.

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