I think most of my running posts have been relatively positive recently and it’s tempting to just write about the successes and good runs or the ones where it went wrong and then we fixed it and it was ok. But when I started I said I’d share my running journey – all of it. The good and the bad so it’s time for a not so upbeat post. Today has so far just been frustrating.

It was a gorgeous morning but it took me forever to wake up fully and drag my butt out of bed. We wanted to do a 10 mile-ish loop on Ilkley Moor, got organised and set off. I didn’t even make half a mile. Stunning as it was, I couldn’t breathe. I was trying to work out if I was panicking about something, just finding it really really hard or something else. I settled on something else. I actually felt quite strong and I was looking forward to the views from the moor. I wasn’t aware of panicking or even worrying about anything really. It got worse as we came past freshly cut grass and I think the pollen count must be high and then grass cutting will have disturbed lots of grass pollen in particular. It felt like I couldn’t get air into my lungs at all. I turned back. As I walked back the views were glorious and it made me smile and a little bit grumpy at the same time.

I tried again this afternoon. I set off thinking I would do a 4.5 mile ish loop taking it slowly. It felt impossibly hard from the start and I kept thinking I would settle in. I wanted to drop down to the canal thinking that the ducklings might cheer me on and I waned to see if there were cygnets but at the first bridge there was traffic chaos so I kept going along the road, at the next bridge there was a boat coming trough so I huffed and puffed my way up the gently sloping road. I thought about walking, I thought about turning round but kept going and finally dropped down to the canal bank. I thought I’d settle and get my breath back but it didn’t happen. It looked busy ahead. I gave up. My legs felt dead and I still couldn’t get enough air. I walked home – very slowly. I was proper grumpy until I saw this little fella – he made me laugh.

2.5 miles is better than nothing. I may try again this evening – I haven’t had a late evening run for ages – or I may just be grumpy about running for a bit.