Author: Jess Guth

Dr Jess Guth is a Legal Academic. She blogs at jessguth.com She also doesn't really run - reallynotarunner.com

Disneyland Paris races

Jess Guth2 Comments

c971001771Ok, so maybe it is time. Maybe there is enough distance between me and the Disneyland Paris half marathon. Maybe I have regained my sense of humour about the trip. The travel to Paris was pretty miserable. The flight was delayed because a passenger had to be taken off the plane because she was too drunk. As a result we missed the train and then because of the amazingly rude and unhelpful staff at the train station we missed the next one, too. Then we had to rush getting to the expo and that was just not as slick as we were used to from Florida – we had to queue at 6 different places and then a 7th to get th8419e742-9fca-4ba0-8c12-490574265153e photo pass.

The party on the Friday evening was also a bit rubbish but we had a little wander round the
theme park and Kath went on a roller coaster but basically I think we were grumpy. When the alarm went off on Saturday morning we were both tempted to just not run the 5k and stay in bed instead. We hadn’t slept. But we pulled on our gear, headed downstairs in the hotel for the breakfast they put on and then walked to the start area. We waited a little while but they seemed to send us off in waves in pretty quick succession. I am so glad we got out of bed because I had a great time on the 5k. We ran it all slowly and I spent the entire time looking around in wonder. It was just fun and the magic and sparkle was most definitely back. Towards the end we dived in for a picture with spiderman. There wasn’t a queue so we thought, why the hell not. Up until then we’d just 2ce2f72a-6aad-4915-8420-19914ef7ecb4been taking it all in, didn’t feel like we wanted to stop for pictures really. Loved that race! And loved the selfie with Paula Radcliffe after, too. Not sharing that as I didn’t ask her if I could.

After the 5k we went for breakfast, the proper version, and then spent a bit of time in the parks. We were tired though so had a little nap in the afternoon before heading for the Wild West show. I quite enjoyed that actually – I loved watching the horsemanship. The food was pretty average though. We had the runners’ menu which was basically a stuffed chicken breast and lots of sloppy rice.

When I got up on Sunday morning I felt nervous as hell. I knew I wasn’t ready. We went for breakfast again  – with our porridge pots this time – I barely got half of mine down. We went back to 3b16696e-7cbb-4867-a606-7bbc4eac40b8the room to use the loo before heading over to the start area. My tummy felt a bit dodgy – nerves, I figured. As I pulled my pants up againI noticed that I had a hole in them along the seam of the inner thigh. I quickly changed them and put the ones I’d worn for te 5k on again. Then we headed off. We seemed to stand around for a very long time. Once we did set off it became very clear that I was going to need to use the loo as soon as we got to one.

That theme basically continued and every time we stopped for the loo I felt a little better for a little bit and it was ok and then pressure built up again and I felt very uncomfortable for most of the 13.1 miles. I barely did any running at all really. Actually the route was quite nice although it was a good job it was dry – there were areas that would have been very slippery and/or muddy if it had rained. Some bits were also quite narrow which might have caused some of the faster runners problems. By the time we got there, there weren’t that many people around any more! As we turned the corner into the finishing area Chariots of Fire music started playing so I got my act together and ran the last bit. It was miserable. I do not need to have that many toilet stops during a half marathon ever again. My tummy finally started feeling normal again when we got home on Monday.

So there you have it- I finished it because I wanted the bling and because there was no way I had paid the stupid amount of money we paid for the trip and not come home with the medals. The next one will be better!

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We spent time in the parks after, getting a little competitive blasting evil aliens and showing off our medals – and stopping at every bloody toilet in the parks.

In other news – 3 miles in the bag today. It was ok, surprisingly warm for October.

There once was a hill…

Jess Guth2 Comments

…that Jess couldn’t run. More of that later. As you know running has been a bit crappy. I’ve struggled. It’s been hard and I have been mostly miserable about it. So when the alarm went off this morning I was less than impressed. Kath got me a cup of tea and then I very reluctantly went and made some porridge. Eventually I agreed to do a bit go yoga and then we set off and drove to Bolton Abbey for our run. I was worried. Last time I went out I could barely run a quarter of a mile without wanting to curl up and cry.

But today was different. Today running felt like poetry, a bit like slightly clumsy, schoolgirl sort of poetry but poetry nonetheless. Everything fit together as my breathing settled almost immidiately and my legs just moved me gently and steadily forwards. It was hard, really hard but it didn’t matter. I never wanted to stop, I never felt like I needed to stop even when my legs felt like jelly and my lungs were burning. We were running 2 minute/ 1 minute intervals. My Dopey Challenge intervals, my safe intervals.

We set off from the Cavendish Pavilion and wound our way up the first slope and then
down trying to keep pace with a couple of ducks paddling img_1912their way up the wharfe. For company we had a little wren, coal tits, blue tits, great tits and lots we could hear but not see. Somewhere in the background was a cow mooing away. I was still trying to take in the autumn colours, the greens turning into reds and yellows when we were at the Strid. I managed to run right up to the rocky sort of steps before walking – I don’t manage that hill very often but I felt strong, I was aware of the tightness in my thighs as I pushed up the slope. My legs wanted to stop but I didn’t. We made our way back down to the edge of the Wharfe and instead of crossing at the aqueduct we carried on to Barden bridge.

I loved running along at the edge of the river watching a dipper or two and a few ducks going about their business. We crossed the bridge and dropped down onto the river bank on the other side making our way back towards the Strid. I still felt good, I was enjoying every second. I don’t think the running was easier than it has been, I just think I was enjoying being out so it didn’t matter and because it didn’t matter I wasn’t worrying about running, I wasn’t thinking about running. I was just doing it. As we passed the aqueduct I began to feel a sense of foreboding. This next section is hilly, it’s constantly up and down. If I was going to unravel it would be here. And then there is THE HILL. I lost confidence for a second and was suddenly aware of my breathing and my feet falling heavily on the ground.

Then we turned a corner and an absolutely stunning view of the Wharfe spread out in front of me and I forgot that I was concerned about whether I would make it. We took the hills as they fell in our 2 minute runs. I felt good. Up and down and up and down and round the corners surrounded by little birds in the autumnal trees and then we turned to our left and there it was. THE HILL. I have never run up it. On several training runs it has had me in tears. On one Dopey training run I barely made it up the hill walking. Our 2 minute run started just before THE HILL begins with a few metres of gentle slope. I set off. I fixed my gaze on the first tree by the path on my right. That’s the furthest I have ever managed to run. I got there. Shortly after that Kath said ‘How about we walk from here?’ but I barely heard her. My eyes were fixed on the next tree. I might make that. And as I passed that tree I suddenly realised that I was going to run it all. The path levels off for just a few steps before rising for the last push. I took a deep breath, ignored my screaming lungs and jelly legs and pushed. I got to the top, I ran up THE HILL. And I didn’t just stop, I kept going until the 2 minutes were up. As the next running interval started my legs still felt a bit wobbly so I staggered my way down hill but I felt amazing. I ran up my bastard nemesis hill.

img_1914We carried on and instead of cutting across the bridge back to the cafe we carried on towards the priory ruins. The first stretch is along the river and for a brilliant 15 seconds or so we were caught up in a group of goldfinches playing. As we left them behind (or maybe they left us) we headed back up hill. My legs were tired and with every hill I could feel my muscles protesting but we kept going. There are more ups than downs on this section and I didn’t make it to the top of the last big pull. I got more than half way though and after a short little walk I ran to the top. Then we enjoyed the spectacular views across the ruins as we made our way down to the stepping stones and bridge, looped round the back of the church and then headed back down towards the car park across a field. As we left the field and started our slow jog along the car park a heron flew in and landed on a big stone in the river. I waved at him, acknowledging his presence. A heron – a sign of a good run!

So the loop was just under 6.5miles. We ran it in about 1 hour 37 minutes –  so if we want to talk times, this is quite slow, even for me. I have done the same distance with some hills quite a bit faster but the thing is, I don’t care. I had such a lovely time out there today and that’s what running is about. This is why I drag my butt out even when I don’t want to, it’s why I didn’t stop on the canal the other day, it’s why I am getting better at running through tantrums because every now and again I am lucky enough to have a run like the one I had today.

Crappy Running

Jess Guth5 Comments

Ugh I am struggling with the running thing at the moment. I did go on Tuesday  – it was hilly and not pretty but I went. I also went today – supposedly for some speed work. We haven’t done any for ages so thought we’d try 4 x 400 metres with 2 minute rest in-between. We jogged down to the canal as a warm up and that was actually quite nice apart from the steep downhill bit where I suddenly panicked about falling and decided to walk.

As we set off for the first 400 metre ‘sprint’ (hahahahaha) I got a really sharp pain in my tummy that spread from bottom right and had me doubled over for a few seconds. It eased. I wanted to go home, no that’s not quite right. I wanted to be home. Instead though we re-set the watch and tried again. We went off slower this time but still pushing the pace but with only about 100 metres to go my resolve and will power crumbled and I just gave up and stopped. I cried, I swore and then we finished that interval. I finished the 4 x 400 metres but not as speed work – just putting one foot in front of the other without having a total meltdown was hard enough. We changed the route so it was actually quite hilly and we could feed our sheep on the way round.

So it all feels like the running is unravelling. I am getting slower and the distance I can do seems to be getting shorter but I’m just trying really hard to keep the faith, keep trusting the training and grinding out these horrible runs. The next planned run is Saturday – a longer run on a hilly  but stunning route. Bizarrely I am looking forward to it. Or maybe I’m looking forward to having done it, to having a positive story to tell at last, to stop being a disappointment. I’m going to try 2 minute/ 1 minute intervals because they seem safe, they’re my Dopey intervals. FFS I did Dopey, I can run 400 metres. I can. Except when I can’t.

I have been running…

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…usually not blogging means I’m not running but I actually have been. Not much, not fast, not far but I have been. I did the sheep loop backwards on Thursday and I did it faster than ever before. I am still finding it hard, really hard but I am trying to give myself less of a hard time and focus on things I do actually enjoy about running. I like being outside and I like having run. I like being physically tired at the end of the day… I think one of the reasons I am finding it hard is because I am now running in the afternoon/evening more often. I am running after work more often and I am generally more tired before I even start. I’ve always been better with morning runs but we’ll see. I’m not hating the running even if it seems I hate each individual run (weirdly, that makes sense to me!). Anyway, I must go back to holiday planning. Our California trip is scarily close and there is still loads of stuff to sort – I did finally remember to order our Dollars today though – so wish I’d done this a few months ago! We’re running tomorrow so I’ll try and post after that.

No rainbows, no unicorns but a run or two

Jess Guth7 Comments

I have been struggling with running lately. Maybe I’ve been struggling with running since the London Marathon, or even since Dopey. I’m not sure. I have had very few good runs – you know those where even the hard bits feel like they’re ok and you’ll get through them. Instead every step of every run recently has felt HARD. Even the Disneyland Paris 5k (I will blog about those races when we finally get our race photos!) which I really did enjoy and which was a lot of fun was HARD. I haven’t found that easy running rhythm for months. I’ve got slower, too.

I signed up to the Too Fat to Run Scream if you want to go faster programme – which is just as well because I need something to get me out the door at the moment. I know I have the next half marathon coming up really quite soon but to be honest I don’t want to think about it too much, I’ll freak out. So the Scream thingy – it requires a commitment of 3 runs a week and it required the running of a baseline 5k in the week ending today. Instructions for next week will arrive tomorrow. Hm. At the moment I’d be happy with just ‘going’; ‘going faster’ seems so very unlikely. I’ve told you about the first disastrous run post half marathon in the last post… I actually just wanted to pack it all in but of course I need some perspective – ideally not mine. I had run a half marathon just 2 days before; it was the first week of teaching, I repeat, the first week of teaching – it’s a wonder I was functioning sufficiently to put trainers on and really lots has been going on on planet Jess recently… As several people pointed out, I should really give myself a break. I did – until Friday.

So Friday was run 2 of week 1. It wasn’t straightforward. I was at work. I teach from 9-11 and from 3-5. It would be late by the time I got home and the chances of me finding excuses were through the roof – so we agreed we’d run separately. Me in the gym at work and Kath at home. Me-in-the-gym-at-work. What?! You mean like the sort of gym where other people go? Where gym bunnies live? Hm. I packed my bag and when I got to work thought about this some more. Me, in the gym? I thought I’d go a lunchtime and then realised that this would be a pretty popular time slot. Popular with people. So I took my stuff the the class I teach and then headed straight for the gym after the class. As it was the intro session I’d finished a little early and was in the gym (only 2 others there – yay), changed and ready to go at 10.58. I jumped on a bike for a couple of minutes just to warm up a little and then I found a treadmill that was as far away from anyone else using a treadmill as possible.

After a little bit of faffing with settings etc I found a rhythm. It was too hard going and I was really conscious of sweat pouring off me but I just kept plodding, I had to slow a bit and then a bit more but I never walked. I just kept watching the ‘kids’ outside the university building I could see out of the window. After what seemed like forever I got to 5k and stopped. 40.21. It felt like I’d run much faster but I hadn’t. The gym had also filled up rather alarmingly. I hadn’t noticed. I think if it had been that full when I arrived I would have run away! Anyway, run 2 was a hot and sweaty ploddy affair but I got it done and set a treadmill baseline in the process.

Run 3 week 1 – today. We needed to do a longer run today to keep the half marathon training going but we were also conscious of how tired we’ve been. So we planned to run the roughly 4 miles from our house to my friend’s house to feed her cats, have a little break there and then run back to the bottom of our hill taking us to around 7 miles. I thought I could also use the way there to set an outside running 5k baseline. Well it was another of those HARD runs. The first mile is almost all down hill and we set off quite speedy for us and clocked an 11minute mile. We should have set off slower! Anyway we got ourselves to 5k in what we think was 38.05  – that’s what the Garmin said at the time although the data on strava now shows it was 37.29. So as the aim is to go faster I will take the quicker baseline and work on beating that. We did have a couple of walk breaks. The way back was really tough and we walked a fair bit but still, done.

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Walking up the hill to get home was horrible. My lower back kept sort of cramping but everything has settled down now I’ve had a bath and some food. More yoga as we go through the rest of the afternoon and evening and I think it’ll be fine. So here are my Scream if you want to go faster stats (I’ve rounded a bit!):

Outside baseline: 37.29         Outside target: 35 minutes

Treadmill baseline: 40.21     Treadmill target: 38 minutes