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Going arse over tit – with an audience

Jess Guth6 Comments

Those of you who have been following the blog for a while will know I run in complete fear of falling over. I have no real idea why – I never have fallen over while running – well until our last run that is…

It was just a run like any other. Not a new route, no extreme off-roading, not a tree root in sight. I was probably at about 2.8 miles of what ended up a 3.5 mile run (in 45 mins). It’s really the first proper run since the marathon and since faffing about making excuses. It was the first run of our new training programme. I was finding it quite tough but manageable. As we approached one of the canal bridges there was a group of women runners gathering at the bridge. It was obviously a meeting point/waiting point for a running club. Well for someone who doesn’t really care what other people think I found them stupidly intimidating. They all looked like proper runners to me. They were all in lycra and pink fluorescent jackets and I really wasn’t looking forward to running past them.

Well I needn’t have worried – I didn’t run past them so much as flung myself past them. I have no idea what happened but all of a sudden I saw the ground coming at me and my little legs were trying to move fast enough to stop the inevitable happening and then it happened. My left knee, hands and right shin hit the floor. It’s safe to say I don’t bounce like I used to! If I’d fallen on the other side of the canal tow path I may have been tempted to roll into the canal to hide my embarrassment but that wasn’t an option, there was nothing for it, I hauled my arse back up and just kept running. In my head the women were all falling about laughing at me, none of the were of course, they showed concern and several asked if I was ok – only making the embarrassment worse.

I just kept running for that interval- everything was stinging – my hands, my knee, my shin, my ankle, the tears in my eyes… The walk break came and I assessed the damage to my hands – not too bad, little scrape. I also tried really hard not to cry. Yep, I’m a wimp. Then the next running interval came and and we were off again. Kath kept talking to me, reassuring me that all was fine and nobody had laughed at me. I completed the run, walked home and then we went out. My knee is grazed and bruised, my shin is too although there is less evidence of that and I have a bruise on my ankle too.

It’s now two days after the ‘event’ and I still feel like a bit of an idiot. My knee, shin and ankle are sore, worse than yesterday, and much worse than they should be. What happened to the days when you got a brightly coloured bruise that was a bit tender for a few days but nothing more? It feels achey and generally rubbish and I think I am walking funny because my hip has been niggling, too. I’d like those bouncy days back please.

Anyway, I’ll live but going arse over tit in front of a whole bunch of people is not an experience I want to repeat. Haven’t run since, likely to go tomorrow and I just hope this hasn’t turned me into even more of a wimp and if I’m honest I’m not sure if I am more worried about falling or people seeing me fall!

Hope your running has been more successful this week!

The Clubhouse

Jess GuthLeave a comment

I started this post last weekend but then got busy with other stuff so I thought I’d finish it today. I wasn’t running that day. I was sitting in the summer house trying to get some work things finished and learning how to cope with my new MacBook Air. Facebook tells me that lots of ladies from the Clubhouse were running races that day and that others were battling the warm weather on their training runs. So the Clubhouse. I thought I’d tell you about it and about the Too Fat to Run  (TFTR) Community/Group/Whatever you want to call it in more detail than I have before.

I am probably about the last person you might expect to join a running club. I am also about the last person you’d expect to join an online group of any kind and I am probably also one of the least likely women to like the idea of joining a women only group. Let’s face it, we can be bitchy and competitive and dramatic and mostly I really can’t be bothered with that shit. I’m also not the most sympathetic and I get irritated by other people’s dramas quite easily. I also don’t really care what other people think most of the time so it is difficult to see what I might get out of such groups or what I might contribute. The Clubhouse is an online, women only running club – so exactly what I would usually roll my eyes at and what I certainly wouldn’t pay to join, except that I did.

So how did the Clubhouse and my engagement with TFTR turn out to be so amazingly positive? Back in November when I felt totally lost and I was struggling to get off the sofa, Facebook showed me a suggested page for Countdown to Christmas run by Julie Creffield who is behind TFTR. It was fairly cheap and I thought it might give me a positive focus through December and it did.Daily challenges kept me doing something and it was fun to interact with people and laugh about our attempts at some of the challenges and celebrate our successes in others. It felt like being part of something at a time when I wasn’t really sure where I was going with anything. I read about the Clubhouse and I wondered whether it might be fun. I signed up on a whim really. I’m glad I did but I still find it really hard to articulate why.

The Clubhouse is a pretty simple premise – you pay a monthly fee (or pay all in one go for the year as I did) and get access to a closed online Facebook group in which Julie provides a sort of coaching thing which is also hard to capture in words. There are monthly themes (May =retreat) with challenges set to go with it, there are opportunities to ask questions – generally of course but also at specified points each week, there’s a discount on merchandise and the other things Julie does, there’s a closed section of the website with resources – running plans etc. You do actually get a lot for your money including tips on running and fitness from Julie which are specific to you. The Facebook group is the most valuable. I interact with someone on there daily. Ok, I hear you, I could do that on the open Too Fat to Run page too but it’s not the same. For a start the main page is public, the group is private and the page has too many followers to create the feel of a supportive group and network – it’s too anonymous (eventhough it is public – I know what I mean!). Ok, I could set up a closed group and invite all my running friends to join that – oh wait I don’t have many running friends… I have some friends who run but it is not running that has brought us together as friends and somehow there are things about running – particularly running as the fatty that I am that I’m not sure I want to share with people I actually know in other ways – not in a personal sort of closed facebook group kind of way (yes, weird given that I will happily blog about it all).

So the Clubhouse works for me because I am not a sociable runner and therefore don’t talk running with a group of likeminded runners on a regular basis – an actual running club fills me with dread (although I will go one day just to try a session, it’s good to be a little scared, right?!?) but I do have this slightly odd need to share my running stories, fears, disasters and successes with people who ‘get it’. The Clubhouse brings together a group of women who get it. The ‘it’ is slightly different for all of us I think. We are all at different stages of our running lives and our lives generally, we have different views on everything, including running and health and fitness but so far, surprisingly for a group of women, I have found it to be supportive, encouraging and totally non-judgmental. I like hearing the stories as much as I like sharing mine. The funny thing is, I’m not sure I would in ‘real’ life. Online is good. Others in the Clubhouse do meet up and make more of an effort to meet up at races etc, I’m not sure that’s what I need from the Clubhouse, what I need is instant unquestioning support right there when I need it and for that it works (don’t ask for much do I ?!?)

There are other things about the Too Fat to Run community I really like – there’s a blog, monthly virtual One Big Fat Run – a 5k run on the last Sunday of the month. You can even buy a medal in the shop if you run for the bling (more on that another time!). I like my Too Fat to Run t-shirts because whenever I wear them I get brilliant people watching opportunities  – people don’t quite know how to react when they see me walking or running along with ‘Too Fat to Run?’ in big letters across my front and I wish I’d had something like the 5 weeks to 5k programme when I started out because it is so much better than the programmes I tried to get through and work with. And if you like having a nosey at what other people are doing there is always the Runner of the Month feature (I’m January and blogged about that here).

It might not be for everyone and maybe it won’t be for me in the long term, who knows, things change but for now I really value the support I get from a whole bunch of women I’ve never met (save for a few who I have met briefly before and even more briefly during the London Marathon). If you want to begin to get a sense of what it’s all about have a look at the main Too Fat to Run Facebook Page.

Happy Running

 

Abbey running

Jess GuthLeave a comment

I need to get back into the habit of running regularly and for fun not because I feel like I have to but because I want to. After the little run the other day I slept better than I have in ages and I woke up actually feeling like I had had a good rest. Now that the pressure of having to achieve a distance is gone, I really hope the bits I enjoy about running (so really everything about it other than the actual doing it) will become more obvious to me again.

This morning we had planned a little plod round our Bolton Abbey Loop – I’ve blogged about that loop before so I won’t go over it again. Well we got there a bit early and the gates were still shut but he had seen that the top car park closer to the actual Abbey was open so we drove back to that and parked there. Now normally I am not good with plans changing at the last minute. It’s odd, I’m generally quite flexible and laid back about stuff like that but not when it comes to running! Oh no, don’t you dare mess with what I thought was going to happen on a run – be that route, pace, distance, number of other people, intervals. Just don’t. So different car park meant different plan. Hm.

No drama – different route was fine, it was fun. It was an adventure. Different didn’t matter today. We had no watch, no garmin so no idea how far we actually went or at what pace or whatever. I could probably work it out but I can’t be bothered, it’s not important. We started off making our way down towards the Abbey and then the bridge over the wharfe by the stepping stones. The scenery was really quite spectacular. It was a gorgeous morning. we continued on that side of the wharfe until we got to the bridge by the Cavendish Pavillion cafe. We didn’t run it all – are you crazy have you seen some of the hills? We took a few little walk breaks and other than the one to walk up the really steep slope they were really more about not pushing and just enjoying and about watching birds, ducklings and over enthusiastic dogs. We then crossed the bridge and plodded our way back along the wharfe alongside the car park and across the field back up to the road. Again we walked the steep bit. Once at the top we tootled down into the Abbey grounds again back to where we had started. All in all a lovely 35 minutes. We’d chatted and giggled all the way round, I hadn’t really pushed myself at all but it still felt like we’d had a good little workout.

We got changed in the toilets and then drove to Keelham Farm Shop in Skipton for breakfast. 2 good runs in a row – whatever next!

A mile and a bit

Jess Guth1 Comment

I went for a little run today. To be fair it was about time. The ‘I’ve just run a marathon’ excuse was really only good for one week. Then I managed all sorts of excuses – Monday I decided I’d still stick with the marathon excuse, Tuesday Kath was back quite late and we convinced ourselves we were way too  hungry to run and then eat and then it would be too late to run, Wednesday we went to Leeds, went shopping (I may or may not have ordered a MacBook and bought some new trainers) and out for tea and of course couldn’t possibly run when we got back and as for running in the morning, well no, just no.

In fact we were meant to run this morning but I couldn’t be bothered to get up, so didn’t until just gone 7am and then it was too late…bla bla. We could’ve gone. I vaguely entertained the idea of running at lunch time but then walked to the polling station and voted instead (I could have run there!). So this afternoon, I’d actually finally had enough of excuses and was happy to pull my trainers on and run. I got changed and we put a 10 minute yoga for runners on during which Kath informed me I had a hole in my pants – right on my hip, looks like a moth got at them or maybe I caught them when I zipped up my bag or something. Annoying because I’ve ony worn them once before and I don’t think it’ll stitch – anyway…

We walked to feed our sheep (we were carrying a bottle for the lamb we’re still feeding and you can’t run without it squirting everywhere) and then set off from the sheep field just to finish out little loop. We ran maybe a mile and a half, a little less maybe. We had two little walk breaks along the canal – I don’t think we really needed them but we wanted them and they coincided with looking at ducklings and lambs. As it turned out it was quite a fast pace for us (11.5 ish minutes per mile) and it felt really nice to be out and stretching my legs. My right hip is a little niggly now but nothing major. Bizzarely my feet were quite sore running, never had that before and they are fine again now.

I think I’d fallen out with running a bit before the marathon – since Dopey it has all felt a bit pressured and it’s been another thing I had to do and fit it. It didn’t feel like I was doing it for me anymore and it didn’t feel like me time. Because of that I think I’ve not really had the clarity that running can bring and I don’t think I really realised that until I got back today. Today I had it. Even though it was just a very short little run I came back feeling positive and energised and my brain worked almost in the way that I know it can when I am fully functioning. I’m not going to push it, I’m turning off shortly and having a bath before reading a little and getting an early night.

I think I’m relieved, yes I think that’s it. I think I’ve been worrying that I wouldn’t be able to put the pixie dust back into running, that it had all got a little bit serious and that it would end up being just a thing I have to do to keep vaguely healthy. Don’t get me wrong, I still mostly hate running – the actually doing it – but today I just disliked the actual running and not everything around it. I loved being out, I loved seeing wildlife and nature, I loved the sense of ‘oh my legs do actually still move’ and I sort of enjoyed pushing to the top of the hill and not stopping and I certianly enjoyed having done it. It’s not all rainbows and unicorns but I think there may be a little pixie dust.

The night before

Jess Guth3 Comments

Tomorrow I run a marathon. It’s my second marathon. It’s probably my last marathon. It doesn’t feel like my second. It feels like it’s the first. But maybe not. It feels like the first because I don’t feel like it is possible that I have run this distance before. But I know I have.

Over the last few days I have been nervous, terrified, grumpy and tearful. Today I feel settled. There isn’t any other way to describe it. Settled. What ever happens, happens.  It’s irrelevant whether I am ready or not. It doesn’t matter that training hasn’t been ideal. This thing is happening and it is happening tomorrow. I’m sure the nerves will come back tomorrow. I am sure I will once again be terrified but for now I’m settled.

We travelled down to London this morning. Everything went smoothly and after dropping our bags at the hotel we headed over to the Expo. Maybe we were just grumpy but the organisation seemed so much more chaotic than the Expo at Disney. In spite of having more space it felt cramped, it felt like we were being herded through, it was difficult to really look at anything and I was underwhelmed by the official marathon merchandise. We got our numbers and timing chips and got out. Maybe it’s just that if you’ve done one Expo you’ve done em all. Maybe my anxiety levels were just up because of the number of people. Others certainly seemed to enjoy it.

Then we had a quick photo for the Clubhouse – the online running club I’m part of – and it was great to briefly meet some of the people I feel like I know but have never met other than on Facebook. I’ll write more about the Clubhouse and the Too Fat to Run community soon but do check out the Fat Girls’ Guide to Running blog – which has just won the best blog award at the running awards.u

Since then we’ve been taking it easy. We had some food and watched something about Lego on tv (I wasn’t really concentrating so can’t tell you anything more about the programme). Our kit bags are sorted with a change of clothes, our kit is laid out and ready, our race numbers are pinned on and timing chips attached. We are well hydrated, we’ve had a bath…

Even writing this I still feel settled. Tomorrow I’m running a marathon. Thank you for all your support!