6.23.58

That number will forever be my marathon PB. I am done with that distance but I am also an official London Marathon finisher. I have to say, writing that feels pretty good. So here is how it went.

Today seems to have started in another life time. After a pretty bad night’s sleep we got sorted, did some yoga and set off. The tube and DLR ride took about 30 mins, the walk to the assembly area another 15 or so. We went to the loos, sat for a bit and then handed in our bags, then we sat a bit more. We entered the starting pens about 9.45 and soon we were moving forwards and then we were off, just like that we were running the London Marathon.

The first 5 miles were fabulous, we kept going with the flow for a while and then stopped at the loos just before mile 1. The early loo stop strategy had really worked for us during Dopey so we adopted it here. Then we went on. I got to just before mile 6 and suddenly felt really poorly. I couldn’t really explain but it felt like I was going to pass out. It wasn’t poor fuelling or hydration, I know from training runs that feels different. I actually thought I was going to have to stop there and then. I took an extra walk break and then we were at the Cutty Sark and the crowds lifted me a bit and I could keep going. I did have to put in extra walks though. Again the thought I might not make it crossed my mind.

Just before mile ten was the Too Fat to Run cheering station and I needed that. I got a big hug and lots of high fives and then we were gone. I was ok for a mile or so and then the funny feeling came back. Not quite dizzy, not quite nausea, not quite anything  but most definitly not quite right. Kath said she thought I should stop. I didn’t want to. We pushed on. We walked most of Tower Bridge, I’d wanted to run it but I just couldn’t. Half way came. There were other runners going the opposite way on the other side of the road, they were at 22 ish miles and I longed to be there and wondered if I would be, didn’t seem likely.

At 14 miles I was ready to quit. I just didn’t feel right. I don’t know why I didn’t stop, too stubborn maybe. I just kept walking and crying, I did a lot of crying around mile 14.   We agreed we’d keep walking for a bit and see if I could continue. So we did, we walked, we walked fast, as fast as we could and every now and again I managed a little jog, just to the next traffic lights, just to the km or mile marker, just to the bus stop. Every bit of me was screaming to stop but that’s how we ticked off the miles, one after the other, 15, 16,17 and then we saw 18 and I’d decided I wanted to finish. I felt better in myself, no longer not quite right but just fatigued and my hips, lower back and thighs had had enough, but 19 miles came and so did 20 and then it began to seem possible.

I walked most of the Dopey marathon and that was miserable. This wasn’t really miserable, we had a few giggles along the way and I tried to take it all in. The crowds were fantastic and hearing people call out your name helps massively. So no, not miserable but also not quite what I’d had in mind. I didn’t want to be in this much pain and this knackered at 20 miles. But then maybe I should have got my arse of the sofa and trained more…

21 came, then 22, 23 seemed to take forever but it did come as did 24. Just over two miles left running along slowly but running quite often now, the Thames on my left, the familiar views, the embankment, 25 miles. As well as my lower back, hips and thighs my right ankle has now had enough and my left calf is seriously unhappy and still, somehow I jog more in the last mile than I have the previous 12. Somehow, I make it, somehow I run across the finish line. And cry, and then giggle and then do both at the same time.

All the time Kath has been by my side, talking to me. I know she’s in pain, she must be if my back is this bad but she keeps pushing me on, keeps reminding me that we are Dopey and that together we can do anything. She’ll never get the credit I do for running the marathon because she won’t shout about it as much but really she ran it for us both today. She broke through her pain barrier and mine and kept us putting one foot in front of the other.

Could I have done better today? I could have trained better but as things stood going into the marathon, no I couldn’t have. I had nothing left, I didn’t hold anything back. I left everything I had out there on the streets of London and I am bloody proud that we finished, finished running across the line.

We were meant to go to an after party for the Ron Pickering Memorial Fund but neither of us felt very well and it took us ages just to walk to get our bags. We wanted to come back to the hotel, stretch, have a bath, eat etc. So we did. I’d love to tell you I’m out celebrating but I’ve had a little bottle of peroni, gallons of water and I’m ready for bed!

So not the greatest marathon ever but if you think slogging it out and not giving up counts for something, you can still support me here: My page: http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/jessguth

thank you.

The night before

Tomorrow I run a marathon. It’s my second marathon. It’s probably my last marathon. It doesn’t feel like my second. It feels like it’s the first. But maybe not. It feels like the first because I don’t feel like it is possible that I have run this distance before. But I know I have.

Over the last few days I have been nervous, terrified, grumpy and tearful. Today I feel settled. There isn’t any other way to describe it. Settled. What ever happens, happens.  It’s irrelevant whether I am ready or not. It doesn’t matter that training hasn’t been ideal. This thing is happening and it is happening tomorrow. I’m sure the nerves will come back tomorrow. I am sure I will once again be terrified but for now I’m settled.

We travelled down to London this morning. Everything went smoothly and after dropping our bags at the hotel we headed over to the Expo. Maybe we were just grumpy but the organisation seemed so much more chaotic than the Expo at Disney. In spite of having more space it felt cramped, it felt like we were being herded through, it was difficult to really look at anything and I was underwhelmed by the official marathon merchandise. We got our numbers and timing chips and got out. Maybe it’s just that if you’ve done one Expo you’ve done em all. Maybe my anxiety levels were just up because of the number of people. Others certainly seemed to enjoy it.

Then we had a quick photo for the Clubhouse – the online running club I’m part of – and it was great to briefly meet some of the people I feel like I know but have never met other than on Facebook. I’ll write more about the Clubhouse and the Too Fat to Run community soon but do check out the Fat Girls’ Guide to Running blog – which has just won the best blog award at the running awards.u

Since then we’ve been taking it easy. We had some food and watched something about Lego on tv (I wasn’t really concentrating so can’t tell you anything more about the programme). Our kit bags are sorted with a change of clothes, our kit is laid out and ready, our race numbers are pinned on and timing chips attached. We are well hydrated, we’ve had a bath…

Even writing this I still feel settled. Tomorrow I’m running a marathon. Thank you for all your support!

 

 

 

 

So I was right, I can’t run.

Yesterday I went for a little jog, you know to keep the legs moving. I ran 1.25 miles, some of it was muddy, some of it hills but it was only 1.25 miles and it was at 14 minutes per mile pace. That in itself doesn’t really matter. Slow is fine but I felt like I was dying out there. It was so hard, my lungs were burning and my legs were protesting. See, I can’t run.

After the initial ‘what the hell’ yesterday I stopped worrying about it and just thought it is just one of those funny things. I was tired after work, hungry and probably quite dehydrated. It was good to actually just get out and do a little bit. I was fine with that.

I’m not fine with that now. Nowhere near fine. How is it possible to feel that crap after 1.25 miles. What’s that all about. I’m never going to make it to 26.2. Aaargh. Ok I know I need to snap out of it. I know I need to trust the miles in my legs, the fact that I’ll be rested and properly fuelled and hydrated on the day, not to mention the adrenalin the occasion will bring. But FFS, 1.25 miles whatever the pace, I should not feel like my lungs are going to explode. It’s going to be a very very long 26.2 miles and the sofa and chocolate biscuit are ever more tempting.

Please share your taper nightmares with me here – it’ll make me feel better!

More marathon jitters

So first of all the response to my calls for sponsorship over the last couple of days has been fabulous – thank you all. If you’d  like to add your support please do here http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/jessguth It sounds really cheesy but seeing people sponsor me does actually help calm the nerves – it means people believe I can do this thing – or at least they hope I can.

So today I feel a little bit different but not much. I am still in ‘I can’t do this’ mode because I just don’t think I can but I am also having more classic marathon jitters. My thought process about getting to work this morning might explain. This all happens in my head before you worry too much:

  1. I am getting up now
  2. Why? It’s safe in bed
  3. No, I am getting up now
  4. Ok but don’t fall down the stairs
  5. I’ve never fallen down the stairs, ever
  6. Yes but you might…
  7. I’m going to get the bus to work
  8. Really?
  9. Yes, why?
  10. You’ll have to walk to the bus stop
  11. Well, yes…
  12. Downhill
  13. Yes
  14. You might slip and fall and break your leg and not be able to do the marathon
  15. Hooray, or not, maybe not, ok I’ll drive
  16. No, no don’t drive you might crash
  17. ok I’ll walk, then bus
  18. ok but walk the long way round and don’t go on the slippery bits
  19. And don’t get on the bus if the driver looks dodgy
  20. ?????

I got to the bus stop in one piece – funnily enough and this went on in my brain:

  1. Your hamstring is tight
  2. Yes
  3. You’re injured
  4. No, I’m just a bit tight, didn’t do any yoga
  5. You’re injured
  6. No
  7. YOU ARE INJURED
  8. No, no I’m fine
  9. GO HOME YOU ARE INJURED
  10. No I’m fine
  11. NO – OH BUT DON’T GO HOME – THAT’S UPHILL
  12. Shut up I’m getting on the bus

I’m at work, I’m fine but I am  in full blown marathon paranoia. if it hasn’t already tarted the roller-coaster of emotions starts here. I’ll let you know what tomorrow brings!