Tag: 5km

Didn’t enjoy that

Jess GuthLeave a comment

Thursday I found out that my application for a promotion has been accepted (effective 1st September) so instead of running we went out for a meal. We were going to run on Friday morning but didn’t. Can’t remember why. We were meant to go at lunch time but we’d got food all wrong and both felt flakey so didn’t. So we set out to do a short loop in the evening. We left just after 8pm.

Well the run was uneventful. I didn’t find it physically that hard, mentally it was fine. There’s just nothing to say about it. I just didn’t enjoy it. I’ve never felt like this about a run before. I’ve hated it because it’s been hard, I’ve really struggled physically, I’ve really struggled mentally, I’ve enjoyed some and I always enjoy having run. But not yesterday. I felt ok before going and then just flat, a bit ‘meh’ while running and flat after. It felt a bit like going to a bad lecture. Not bored exactly but just bit flat and grumpy and disillusioned with life, love and the universe.

It’s a new one and I hope one that isn’t repeated all that often. Today I have stuffed my face with cake, tomorrow I shall run again.

I don’t remember the beginning

Jess Guth2 Comments

I have had several conversations (face to face or virtual) recently about starting running and about my running journey and about how the hell I got to be someone who can run several miles without walking and who isn’t scared of taking on distance. I hadn’t really realised I was no longer scared of distance. I noticed at Endure24 that I felt like I had a right to be there whereas at a 5k or 10k road race I’d feel like an impostor and I’d feel apologetic for my lack of speed. At some point on this journey I must have realised I can do distance – it may involve lots of walking and it will never be fast but I will get there.

But how did I get here? I can trot out advice about starting running that is sort of based on my experience but only sort of because to be honest, I don’t really remember. I remember starting (at various points in my life but particularly around January 2015) a fairly typical couch to 5k programme. I’ve never finished one. The last iteration I hated. I felt miserable before a run, during a run and mostly also after a run. I wanted to do it to get fitter and shift the substantial extra weight but I hated it. Instead of giving up I looked for something else. I tried Jeff Galloway’s method of run/walk. Somehow this really helped. I don’t know what my first intervals were – I want to say 30 seconds running, 30 seconds walking but from nothing that actually sounds like quite a lot of running. I think if you’re going from no running at all even 10 seconds and then walking the rest of the minute is great.

So why did this work for me? Less pressure I guess. There wasn’t this constant ‘next time you’ve got to run for longer’ feeling. It was always – ‘you’re going out for 30 minutes and doing your thing’. I soon found that I was running faster, walking faster and overall going further in the 30 minutes. At some point I must have upped the running and played with intervals but I don’t remember how incremental this was or what we did – some of this may of course be in the early blog posts (haven’t gone back to look – I’m interested in me not really remembering). I remember for quite a while working with 3 minute running and either 30 seconds or 1 minute walking but then beginning to struggle with that as the distances increased and settling on what became my favourite of 2 minutes running and 1 minute walking. It’s what I come back to now when I am struggling – whether mentally or physically.

More recently, and I think this is a strange and tentative new found running confidence, I have wanted to run more consistently without walk breaks. It’s not that I don’t like run/walk or think it’s cheating – it’s not and I’m often faster doing run/walk than running consistently – it’s just that it feels like that’s next in my journey. I also feel like I want to be less regimented. I do often still walk a bit even on shorter runs but I run more by feel now. I use landmarks to determine my intervals and somehow that feels more relaxed than being ruled by the beep of a watch.

So do I have advice for anyone starting out? Yeah I do – it’s bloody hard and you have to try and enjoy it and the way to enjoy it is to rid your head of unrealistic expectations. Running for 30 seconds or even 20 or 10 sounds like nothing but it isn’t nothing. It’s a very very big something. Go out for 30 minutes and take each minute as it comes. Depending on your level of general fitness try running 10 seconds, 20, 30 or even 40 and then walk the rest of the minute. If you can do that comfortably for each of the 30 minutes, try upping the running bit next time. See how you go. Don’t feel like you have to keep increasing the running portion. Settle in at an interval you like and go with that for a bit. Don’t get too competitive,enjoy being outside, learn to look around, learn to smile while you’re running, give yourself permission to stop to look at something interesting. It’s not about getting through it or getting to the end of your 30 minutes having covered as much distance as possible – it’s about learning to love running and doing it for you. The rest will follow if you want it to – but it’s taken me this long to figure out that maybe I don’t care if it doesn’t. I like stopping and watching a heron on the canal bank and I like it far more than seeing a fast time on my garmin at the end of my run.

Training Plans and an Uphill Waddle

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I went for a run. It’s run day on the training plan and I actually went for a run. Lately, you see, I have done anything but what it says on whatever plan I’ve been supposedly following. When it said long run I’ve gone short, when it said hills, I’ve just sworn, when it said short run I didn’t go, when it said rest I went long… chaos basically which is fine. In fact I quite like chaos, it adds a surprise element to life.

It’s quite hard to make any real training progress with chaos though, particularly when you’re like me and chaos basically means you don’t do the hard stuff. A little order was called for, not regimented ‘you must do this’ sort of stuff but just following a basic framework. It’s Tuesday and Tuesdays is 45 minute run day. Some Tuesdays have  45 minutes with stuff (like surges or hill repeats etc) but not this one, this one was just ‘easy’. The notion of ‘easy’ running amuses me. Easy pace is basically walking! Anyway. I got home after a good day and couldn’t really be bothered. I hadn’t drunk enough water, drunk too much coffee, eaten too much for lunch and it was hot. But nonetheless I set off.

I kept reminding myself to go slow in the sun and not worry about pace – just plod out the 45 minutes. Enjoy, look around… I puffed my way up the hill then towards the wood, past our Dino and up the slope into the wood. I nearly walked on the slope – I suspect I would have been quicker if I had walked. Down the golf course and along the canal. Bloody hell this was hard. One foot in front of the other. I wanted to stop at the bridge but I wasn’t anywhere near 45 minutes yet. So on I went. Somewhere between the next two bridges I decided that I would plod out 5km and then try and march up the hill home. It’s a steep hill. Almost immediately after I made that decision I started doubting whether I’d make the 5km. I did but it felt like wading through treacle. I was surprised when Strava told me I got a personal best on that last section. It also tells me it was 5km in 39 minutes dead.

Anyway, for the walk home – I went the most direct route – directly up in an almost straight line up a little snicket. I was hot, bothered, slightly dizzy in places and thought I was going to puke. I felt like I kept marching, stopping, marching, stopping but it was probably more like waddle, stop, waddle, stop. I got home. I had ticked the required 45 minutes off the list  – there is some order.

I collapsed on the living room floor and just stayed there a few minutes contemplating life (actually just sweating so much I was surprised not to have left a noticeable wet patch – can your eyeballs sweat?). Then slowly I got myself together and did some fairly random post run yoga – I couldn’t be bothered to get my mat or the iPad to follow an actual sequence so I did my own. My hamstrings are little bitches and totally intent on making my life miserable so they need a good stretch to keep them in check: ‘half monkey’ seems to really work for me for that. I thought my hips had been a bit tight but alternating ‘bridge’ and ‘happy baby’ a few times sorted that. Then I went in search of water (wasn’t hard, Kath had given me a full glass as I walked through the door). In spite of the uphill waddle I now felt pretty good about that outing.

I haven’t really done enough yoga today – I’m trying to do more but let’s take the small victories – I did manage 20 minute morning yoga yesterday which always sounds like such a lovely thing but the morning one on my yoga app is actually quite tough and after moving from downward dog to plank for what felt like the 150th time (ok, 3rd), my arms didn’t work anymore and I face planted. I have therefore settled on a new ambition in life: being able to do that sequence without putting my nose in danger. I also did strength exercises much to the cats’ amusement/bemusement. Ernest stared at me intently as I side-stepped with a resistance band. Actually maybe he just got a bit excited every time I got near the food bowls. Anyway, it’s only Tuesday and I already feel pretty good about exercise for the week. Tomorrow is strength yoga day. Next run on Thursday.

 

Mexico Running

Jess Guth1 Comment

Last week I was lucky enough to attend a conference in Mexico City. I took my running IMG_6369gear – as I often do when I go away for work. More often than not the running gear stays in my bag but not this time. I arrived Monday evening and after a pretty good sleep hit the gym on Tuesday early morning. I got on the treadmill, saw that I could have a 5k trail on my screen and settled in for a very very slow 5k. I thought it would be nice to stretch my legs but was aware of being slightly tired and it being warm – even in the gym. So off I set, aiming for a pace of about 13 to 13 and a half minutes per mile. It felt like hell. I couldn’t breathe, sweat was pouring off me and I was nowhere near the pace. I was at about 14 and a half. I walked a little bit and tried again. At 1.2 miles I gave up and did 5k on the bike instead, slowly and grumpily. It began to dawn on me, altitude. That’s why I couldn’t breathe. I know Mexico City isn’t THAT high but it is still noticeable.

I didn’t really notice altitude generally although I’d been slightly dizzy when I first arrived  but I put that down to tiredness. I also noticed that I was out of breath more quickly going up stairs or walking fast. Anyway, Wednesday morning I tried again – armed with a little more knowledge and understanding of why I found it so hard. I did a little better. I went slow and plodded my way to 2.2 miles. I was going to try for the 5km again but my knee started to niggle a little and then the treadmill programme stopped at 30 minutes with a 5 minute cool down and I didn’t bother re-setting. Instead I switched to the cross-trainer and did another 30 minutes on that. I was a sweaty mess. In the afternoon I went for a long walk and didn’t notice the altitude – I noticed pollution and heat.

IMG_6361Thursday I had a rest day but I did walk a fair bit too. Friday morning was the biggy. The conference fun run. A 5km, non timed early morning run. Secretly I’ve always wondered what it would be like to run one of these conference runs. I’ve never even considered joining them. I don’t know what possessed me to do it this time. I’d agonised over it but all my Facebook support groups were very much of the opinion that I should go. So on Friday morning I pulled on my 2016 London Marathon Finisher’s T-shirt – as if it somehow gave me the right to be there – pulled my pants and trainers on and headed to the lobby. There were two people there already, disappointingly they looked like runners. Such a silly thing to say but as I stepped out of the lift I thought ‘Fuck, proper runners’.  Soon we were joined by a few more people – a serious half marathoner, an ultra marathoner, other experienced and speedy looking people- but it stayed a small group. Great. I desperately wanted the ‘Fat Lass at the Back’ gear because that was really the only way to describe the scenario – everyone was thinner and faster. I nearly made my excuses. But I was already up and dressed for a run, I might was well set off with everyone and go for a run anyway. I chatted with a couple of people – fairly serious runners all round really – there was talk of taking it easy at around 30 minute pace. Yeah right, I nearly (but not quite) ran a sub 30 minute 5k once at the height of Dopey training and that nearly killed me.

So we set off. It was clear immediately that the pace was too fast for me. After an initial IMG_6363pang of disappointment and feeling crapy about it, I was actually ok with that. I dropped back and settled into my own pace and watched, vaguely amused, as the rest of the pack disappeared off into the distance. I nearly caught them a couple of times as they’d stopped for traffic lights but they were soon off again. After a little while I noticed that one of the couples had dropped back a bit from the main group and the woman was walking a bit on and off. Eventually I caught up with her and asked her how she was doing. I vaguely thought about pushing past her – maybe I could run the 5km at my pace without walking – but that didn’t seem right and anyway, I wouldn’t mind a little walk. Well, it turns out that she too was struggling with the pace and that she was from West Yorkshire too. We run/walked and chatted our way round the rest of the course with her partner running ahead and waiting on and off – and I really enjoyed it. The rest of the group waited at the entrance to the park but that was really the last time we saw them. By the time we got to the hotel they’d all disappeared.

So, the fun run. My thoughts. In so many ways it was exactly the way I imagined it and why I have never ever joined before – and probably won’t again. The pace is too fast, the people are all ‘yeah we’ll take it really slow, it’s just fun’ when they actually don’t mean that. They also don’t mean that they’ll stick with the slowest person. They wouldn’t have had one or two people drop back to run with me. The only reason I wasn’t on my own was because Jenny was happy to put up with me when I caught up with her. It was too small a group to really split into sub-groups so having a faster and a slower pack just IMG_6366wouldn’t work. I enjoyed the run. I also would have enjoyed it had I done it on my own – but I was ready for that and resigned to it. However, I’m a long way along my running journey now and I’ve accepted that I am slow and will often be at the back. I am generally ok with that and I still found it incredibly hard to not get disheartened as everyone jogged off away from me. It took a few deep breaths and I swallowed some tears and reminded myself that this was my run and they didn’t matter. Once I got that in my head it was fine but that’s not that easy a place to get to. All the things I had always feared about conference fun runs came true: everyone was thinner, everyone was sporty, everyone was faster, nobody waited…

So why did I go. Well I always presumed that runners would laugh at me and be dismissive – but I have had so much support from the Too Fat to Run? community and Clubhouse lovelies there that I do now firmly believe that my substantially sized arse has a right to be out there doing its thing. More importantly though, I have also got amazing support and encouragement from another FB group – the Trail Running Magazine’s Run1000 miles Challenge. There are some amazing, inspirational and phenomenal runners in that group and they don’t seem to care that I am fat and slow. They cheer my achievements and celebrate my successes with me, however small and they made me re-think my perception of runners. They’re not laughing. They’re telling me to go out there and do it. They’re lovely. Somehow I had started to think that most runners are lovely and  that my fear of conference fun runs is mostly based on my own prejudice of runners. So I went. I think maybe I was a little disappointed at the end of the run. I’m not really sure what I expected – certainly not for everyone to wait until I’d made it back or cheer or tell me how well I’d done (I would have found that patronising and embarrassing) but maybe I did expect someone to be there in the lobby making sure all runners got back safe. Maybe I did expect one or two to say ‘hi, how was that? Bit warm out there isn’t it?’ Maybe I expected to be able to say ‘Wow, you must have sped up a fair bit that last mile, I couldn’t even see you’. Instead, I said bye to my  two new friends and went for a shower and then some breakfast.

I did it. I enjoyed it but I enjoyed it because I decided I would do my run and would let the fun run go do its thing. I also enjoyed it because I met two lovely people on the way. I don’t think I’ll be a conference fun run regular – other than maybe to use them as an incentive or excuse to get my butt out of bed and go for a run, my run, with my rules and my paceIMG_6370

First ever parkrun

Jess GuthLeave a comment

We registered for parkrun in October 2015 and we’ve never been. Until today. Finally we got our butts to parkrun. We live pretty much in the middle between Skipton and Bradford so we needed to choose. We chose Bradford on the basis that it is 3 laps rather than 4. Yes I know they are all the same distance but number of laps makes a difference!

We took the car this time, not being sure about timings and where exactly we needed to be or when for the start etc, factoring in the unreliable bus times seemed a step too far. I was unjustifiably nervous as it was! We were early but that gave us time to figure things out, look at the route map, be told how it all worked and then walk to the start. We couldn’t really hear the instructions etc given at the beginning but at pretty much bang on 9am we were off. The course is 3 laps and starts off in a flat straight line, then does a little squiggle round Cartwright Hall and then turns left downhill and left again to go flat/downhill along the length of the park. Then, after another left turn, comes what appears to be affectionately known as the teeny tiny hill. Yeah right. Then you’re back at the start.

I haven’t run with people since the abandoned half marathon in November. Running with people increases anxiety levels. Increased anxiety levels mean I worry about everything. So when I looked at my watch about 100 metres in and saw that we were running at 11 minute mile pace I panicked thinking we were going way to fast for me to be able to sustain it. I felt fine until that point and suspect I would have naturally slowed off a little and found my pace but in my little panic I then couldn’t breathe and threw everything out. I settled a bit on the downhill and flat and on lap one I ran teeny tiny hill – I just then couldn’t keep running so had a walk break at the top.

I’ve really noticed that I have got mentally tougher recently – running rather than run/walking the 3.1 and 4 miles earlier this week are examples of that but I am mentally much weaker when things are ‘different’. I suspect I didn’t really need to walk after the hill. I suspect I could have run the hill on laps 2 and 3 and I suspect I could run a bit faster but I didn’t have it in me mentally to push today. I’m not disappointed and I did enjoy it – I’m just making an observation about me and my running behaviour really. My goal was to finish in under 40 minutes. I had decided that under 40 minutes would be major success. I’d also decided that it might not be a bad idea to have a plan B and C in case plan A was, for whatever reason, not going to work today. So Plan B was to complete in under 45 minutes and Plan C was just to complete. So I am delighted, in fact a sort of happy dance warranting excited, to have come in at 39.44.

After the finish we got a coffee from the coffee van to share (I’m a coffee snob, the coffee wasn’t great but it was coffee I guess) and sat on a bench watching the remaining runners come in and a little wagtail be busy on the lawn in front of us. Then we drove back. I’m glad we went and I felt comfortable and confident enough that I think if we go again soon I’d be happy for Kath to run her own 5k and for me to plod and run mine. It was great to have her there with me today but I think it would still feel like doing parkrun together even if we didn’t actually run together! I’ll just have to try not to let her lap me!