Tag: run

Getting back into things

Jess GuthLeave a comment

Getting back into things is hard. I’d love to tell you that we had an amazing run at Bolton Abbey this morning, that it felt effortless and easy, that everything came together and that I loved every single second, every single light, fast step. But that’s obviously bollocks.

I hated it.

From the very first step I hated it. I was out of breath before we’d even made the first slope. I never really settled down. It went something like this. The ‘Me’ segments were of course all in my head other than where it says (out loud).

Me: Two minute running is a long time!

Me: can’t breathe

Me: walking’s good, I can walk

Me: how can I be this tired after 2 x 2 minutes?

Me: Oh FFS

Me: Don’t like it

Me: urgh

Kath: Look a woodpecker

Me (out loud): hmph

Me: Wow not even half way, nowhere near half way

Me: I’m sure something hurts

Me: downhill, yay

Me: Wanna stop

Me: Might ask Kath

Kath: Make sure you’re taking it all in, it’s such a gorgeous day

Me: Fuck off

Me (out loud): Yeah

The Aqueduct comes into sight…

Me: Yay, half way but oh fuck stairs

Me (out loud): I’m really struggling

Kath: Do you want to walk a bit longer

Me(out loud): no

Me: yes yes yes yes yes yes yes but fuck off and stop being so bloody reasonable and nice

Me: there’s that bastarding hill soon

Me: oh look there it is, the fucker

Kath: do you want to try this in sections?

Me (out loud): yes

Me: I don’t want to f-ing try it at all, I’ll just curl up and cry here thanks

Me: I’m going to puke

Me: or pass out

We manage the hill and the downhill and the end is suddenly in sight

Kath: Coffee and bacon sarnie at the end?

Me (out loud): Yes please

Me: Race Ya!

So yes, I hated it but I have enjoyed having done it ever since we finished. It was a hard won 3.34 miles at a painfully slow place but it’s a start (again) and Kath was right, it was a gorgeous morning to be out.

It’s like learning to walk – but worse

Jess Guth1 Comment

I was thinking about calling this post ‘Starting again, again, again’ but that’s just getting silly. After that fairly positive run on the 17th March I didn’t manage another one until yesterday. We got caught up in a horrible lambing season which you can read about at our sheep blog. Yesterday the last ewe lambed and the relief was just huge. Once everything looked ok, I slept for an hour and a half and then we decided to have a little run. We drove to the sheep, checked they were all ok and then set off from there. We started on our usual route but then instead of carrying on and down the golf course, we turned left down a little woodland trail. And when I say down, I mean down. The first little bit is a fairly steep downhill and it’s covered in leaves and little twigs and branches (and some bigger ones). I so did not like that.

That steep bit was only really short though and then it levels out more – still essentially downhill but not steep – undulating maybe. I walked a fair bit of the trail and slowly negotiated the tree roots and the streams. I nearly face planted once as a stone gave way but that was the extent of the drama. Even though I’d only done about half a mile of trail I could feel different muscles working and I felt a bit tired. It was great to be out though and once we’d pretty much completed the loop I declared that my 1 mile reboot run and sent Kath on her way for lap 2.

Today I wanted to have another go at the trail. We set off from home and ran/walked to the start of the trail. Kath set off down and I froze and panicked. I actually stood at the top of the trail crying and Kath had to come and get me. I wasn’t going to write that bit – feel a bit of an idiot about that but there we are. I made it down (obviously) and then tentatively tried to run a bit more that yesterday. I didn’t fall and managed to bounce through a couple of sections quite effectively. But wow, running on proper trails like this rather than on the fairly easy going and more even paths I have been running on is a whole new thing. It’s fascinating really. I wasn’t huffing and puffing at all. In fact I was fine with all the normal things I struggle with when running. Presumably the enforced slower pace on the trail helps with that but once we stopped my legs felt a whole different sort of tired. I definitely used slightly different muscles and much more core muscles. Also, once I got over myself I didn’t have time to worry about whether I could or couldn’t do it and whether I was or wasn’t a crap runner because I was too concentrated on where to put my foot and how best to bounce through the next series of tree roots.

Kath really helped. After every little section she’d stop and wait for me and give me a hug  when I got there and then we’d set off again. I felt more sure footed than yesterday for most of it and I am looking forward to having another go. I have to admit to finding this really hard though. I just don’t really trust myself or my feet to get this right. I don’t really know why. It really does feel like I’ve got to learn to walk but this time I don’t have the fearlessness of a toddler. I think I often make it harder for myself because I can’t get my mind to let go and commit. Then, because I go tentatively, I don’t have momentum on my side so can’t actually bounce through sections effectively which then ends up making it more technical and difficult than it really needed to be. I do think I could do it instinctively but my brain isn’t quite prepared to let me try yet. It still wants reassurance that nothing bad will happen. I’ll keep practicing.

After the trail section ended we walked a little bit, then jogged along the road and walked up the hill and then home. We did a total of 2.56 miles- no idea at what pace but I don’t care either. It was lovely to be out and this was about pushing myself in another way, not just using pace or distance

Starting again, again

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I haven’t been out since the aborted run the other day. Partly that’s because things got a little busy with lambing. If you want to know more about that, head over to our blog at Riddlesden Jacobs.

It is always hard to actually make myself go out and run but it’s worse when I am tired and lambing means tired. We work in sort of shifts – with Kath dealing with early mornings and me dealing with the late night stuff. Kath has been able to take time off work this year which helps massively but doing the midnight check means I am more tired than usual even with sleeping a little later than normal – I’m just not used to the late nights. Anyway, I thought I might get a gym session in yesterday at work but I felt really tired and sluggish and I was being quite productive with work stuff so just kept going with that. Today though I wanted to get the running thing back on track. I didn’t want it enough to actually do anything about it.

This afternoon Kath suggested going for a run and I just thought ‘what the hell’. Off we went. Just to the sheep where we stopped to check and feed them and then back home. Just a small total of 1.7 miles but I ran it all. I didn’t stop on the hills. I also felt back to normal. So now I think I am just unfit and need to build pace and distance back up but the virus I think might finally be out of my system. Once we got back and I’d got my breath back I also felt far less tired. It was actually nice to be out in the rain although I really want the rain to go away because it’s about the worst weather possible for lambs.

Happy running

 

And I nearly ran again

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The beauty of working at home – when that afternoon slump hits I can put on my trainers and run it off. Well that’s the theory. Of course with the afternoon slump also comes the ‘I can’t possibly run I am waaaaaayyyyyyy tooooooooooooo tiiiiiireeeed’ feeling. But when I can make myself go it really does help. That was the plan for today then.

I’ve been a bit sluggish today all day, bit dozy and tired but nothing too odd for a Monday. Anyway, Kath has taken time off work to be around for lambing so we set off to run together.I didn’t feel quite right from the first steps really. Can’t quite describe it, just off. I figured it was just a case of mind over matter and I’d settle in but I didn’t. It wasn’t so much like running through treacle like it can be when you have tired legs, I felt wobbly. It felt a bit like running on an uneven and shifting surface. I also felt slightly sick. I thought about this carefully during the walk break, gave myself a talking to and set off again for the next run but it was exactly the same. I stopped. It didn’t feel very sensible to keep going. Kath offered to walk back home with me but that would just be silly. I was perfectly fine as long as I didn’t try and run. So she went on and I walked home.

I don’t know if I am just tired from 3 days of back to back running after having that lurgy or whether I was a bit dehydrated or what but whatever message my body was trying to give, it’s been received. No running today. Got it. Part of me is a little grumpy about that because I was looking forward to the having run feeling but a porridge bar and a cuppa on the sofa aren’t so bad either. It’s easy to forget that rest is also important but it is, so I shall rest today and see how things are tomorrow!

And I ran again

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Yep, 3rd day in a row. It’s been a funny old day. I got up feeling positive and quite energetic but my legs were really tight. I’m sure my hamstrings were 2 inches shorter than they were yesterday. We had cereal and fruit for breakfast and did some planning for our Disney trip in September and a bit of tidying up and pottering about. Then we went for Sunday lunch at Kath’s mum’s. We talked about Disney plans some more and made some reservations etc. Then we checked on the sheep (all fine) and then came home. Once home I felt a bit flat. I didn’t quite know what to do with myself. There was some work stuff that needs doing but I’m trying really hard to not let work interfere with weekends. We’ve seen what comes of that and it’s not pretty.

So I had a bit of a battle with myself. I was on the sofa. Getting off the sofa is really hard. I’d been on it for a while faffing on the computer, half heartedly looking at some work stuff, planning tomorrow’s work day. But I felt a bit lost. I was thinking about all sorts of stuff but in particular of a friend who currently has her son in hospital fighting anorexia. It’s not my story to tell, so I won’t say any more but I suddenly thought that if an 11 year old can somehow find the strength to battle his deamons in the way this kid is then I can ask for help to get off this damn sofa and go and run. I asked Kath if she’d take me. She’d already been once this morning and I wasn’t sure she wanted to go again or indeed whether I could run after a full Sunday dinner complete with chocolate pudding and vanilla ice cream. She agreed.

We got changed and did some yoga to try and get my legs loosened a bit and then we set off on a slow plod. We used intervals all the way and actually it was ok. It was a little slower than the same route yesterday but also more consistent and I got a little further up the hills. In all honesty, a Sunday dinner is not good running fuel – at least not if you have pudding. I felt like I was seconds away from a stitch from hell all the way round and at times I felt more than a little sick but complaining wasn’t an option. Today running wasn’t about me. It was about a kid in a hospital bed fighting like hell. Of course me running doesn’t make any difference to him, it’s somewhat of a hollow gesture and part of me can’t help feeling that it’s all a bit selfish on my part. After all him being there made me get my butt out the door. Thinking about him made me not quit on the hills but that’s not about him, that’s about me. It changed my perspective and made me shout at myself. I can hear myself now: ‘Just suck it up sunshine, you’ve nothing to complain about’.

So somehow my 3.1 miles seem so pathetic in the face of other people’s battles but my friend, her son and their family are in my thoughts and I’m sending strength and maybe me (and many others in our little running family) putting one foot in front of the other with him in mind is a show of support and solidarity from which they can draw some comfort and hope.