Tag: running

What to wear and reading Runner’s World

Jess Guth1 Comment

I found something to wear for today’s run (uneventful, 35 mins, 12.31 minutes per mile pace. 2.79 miles, tight calf muscle). It’s a compromise. I braved my lycra 3/4 length pants. Then I went looking for a top. I have loads of t-shirts but I’m fussy when it comes to running. It needs to be comfy, it needs to be long so it covers my backside but not too huge so it’s all baggy and sack like.  It needs to be light and ideally no sleeves. Ok I don’t have anything that meets all those criteria. Then I remembered a t-shirt I ordered a while ago because it made me laugh:

Running T-shirtGiven the slogan I can cope with the fact that it actually doesn’t cover my bum and sort of sits on the widest part of my hips. It’s cotton but not really heavy and it is comfy. That did mean that my wobbly thighs were on full view – sorry about that people of Riddlesden.

Kath has bought Runner’s World magazine on and off for as long as I can remember really and I’ve never so much as glanced at them until recently. Now there is a magazine that isn’t for me – pictures of fit skinny people in lycra and features on how to run yor fasted 10km ever… Urgh. Then there was the issue ages and ages ago which had a recipe for Courgette/Chocolate buns in – hm maybe it is worth a look after all. No, that recipe was pretty much it. In a rather classic work avoidance moment the other day I picked up 3 past issues and started flicking through them and today I sprawled out in the sun with the latest issue . Some of it is quite interesting actually – the science stuff appeals to me. What is clear though is that so much advice about running is contradictory. One expert says one thing, another the exact opposite. Sometimes the Dos are the Dos and sometimes they’re the Don’ts and vice versa. Runners agree on very little other than their love of running.

There were some things, some basics if you like, that people did seem to agree on: Regular running is good for you, Eating right is important particularly for long distance runners (but no agreement on what ‘right’ is), rest is also important (how much, when etc – no agreement) and running is the best thing ever. Well I accept the first – science shows me that, the second is also sensible and must partly be about what works for you, the third I can wholeheartedly embrace – rest is awesome, the fourth I have issues with. I do not love running, it is not the best thing ever, I do not feel free, happy or whatever when running (mostly I feel like there’s still a bloody long way to go or I’ve already gone a bloody long way and must be nearly there). That proves that then – I am really not a runner!

What (not?) to wear?

Jess Guth2 Comments

We went for another run today. We’re slowly moving up to running 45 minutes during the week rather than the 30 minutes. So today we headed out for 35 minutes. It was ok actually. One little ‘you stupid woman what are you doing’ moment during the 7th running section (still 2 mins running  and 30 sec walking) but we managed to take out a couple of runs in the second half. Pace of 12.14 minutes per mile; 2.86 miles. Still struggling with teetering on the edge of depression but I’ve been thinking of my black dog as a puppy today so I think I’m making progress

It’s been warm today and warm brings with it the need to think about clothes. Not something I do much of. I know what real runners wear, we have several issues of Runners World lying around. So just to be clear, short (lycra, cycling, running, whatever) shorts and a top that is basically no more than a sports bra are not an option. Not now, not ever. That’s just not me. But what is me? What should I wear for running? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t self-conscious. I am. I’m too heavy, I’d like to/need to loose maybe 3 stone ish. I’m currently a comfortable size 18 (UK) or an uncomfortable 16. I’ve got curves in the wrong as well as the right places. Running is a big deal so I need to feel confident as well as comfortable or I just won’t go.

Today I wore just some standard (Cotton traders I suspect) jog pants and a no sleeves top which is stretchy and therefore a little clingy. The tops was ok. The pants are too thick and heavy for this weather. So alternatives? I have some Roots 3/4 jog pants but they’re also too thick really. Comfy as anything but too thick. I have a pair of 3/4 length running pants from Gap – they’re tight lycra-ish and I am not sure about wearing them with the kind of top I wore today – I’d have to be feeling very brave. I have worn them with  normal cotton T-shirts but they are quite thick and the few t-shirts I have from previous races are clingy and not that comfortable. Hm. I may need to go and buy some 3/4 length tracksuit bottoms that aren’t  thick and heavy. (I do have a pair that I loved but I can’t get my backside in them at the moment!) I hate shopping for sports stuff – I can just hear the ‘really, you’re buying these for running? Of course you are!’ I can see the sales staff rolling their eyes. I may have to just be too hot until my backside has shrunk enough to fit into the pants I have – by which time it will be cold and a moot point anyway.

Running to feel better – no really.

Jess Guth1 Comment

I seem to have managed to keep the worst of my depression at bay. Let’s keep the black dog metaphor going – I have shut that stupid black mutt out but it is still hanging around outside. For only the second time in my academic career (which now spans well over 10 years) I have withdrawn from a conference. I was due to fly out to Sweden tomorrow but I just couldn’t get my head round flying out there on my own, I couldn’t get my head round exploring somewhere I’d never been before and I couldn’t get me head round giving two papers and putting my research out there for comment. I’ve cancelled. I shall miss seeing some great colleagues and friends but I need to look after myself.

Running and yoga seem to be becoming a part of that. I went to work today and mostly it was ok. I had my little panic this morning but mostly I just got on with things once I got to work. It was just much more of an effort that usual. I had to force the focus that usually comes naturally. I was tired on the way home, really tired. I wanted to get home and run though. Well no, that’s not quite true. I wanted to have that post-run feeling. The only way to get that is to run. 30 minutes along the canal in 2 min run/30 secs walk intervals was what we had planned. I felt reasonably happy about that having managed nearly 6 miles on Sunday using that same ratio. I pushed. Maybe for the first time since we started the running I consciously pushed the pace a little. Usually I just try keep going. I let Kath worry about pace and just follow her lead and she keeps an eye on how I’m doing and speeds up (oh come on, who are we kidding – slows down) accordingly. But today I pushed and I kept pushing all the way to the end. Pace: 12 minutes per mile exactly. Distance: 2.5 miles. Well that silly fat black labrador that seems to be the symbol for depression  in my mind can’t take that pace. I’d left that behind after the second run section. The problem is, it finds its way back ‘home’ and just hangs around waiting for me to unwittingly leave the door open.

The yoga is useful too. It’s helping and I’m getting better at it. I’ll write about that in more detail another time though.

Sunday weigh-in, 5.75 miles and running faster than your ‘black dog’

Jess Guth3 Comments

I woke up this morning with a feeling I haven’t had for years. That feeling of teetering on the edge of depression, of my mental health not being where it should be; the wanting to stay in bed and hide, the barely being able to get up. My black dog was pushing at the door (for some reason I picture my symbolic black dog as a fat black labrador). But there was good news that was worth getting up for – our friends’ baby was born over night and all are doing well. So now I was up, I might as well stay up. I remembered it was Sunday and got an the scales. +1.5 pounds. Hmph (though fully deserved and expected). The plan was to move to the next longer run on the programme, skipping some of the 30 minute ones and moving through to the longer runs more quickly. I had a banana and then we did 15 minutes of yoga.

We set off for our run, heading along the canal towards Bingley for a change. Run/walk ratio continues to be 2mins/30 secs. The first two runs were awful. I couldn’t breathe, my legs felt like led, everything felt like an effort and, if I’m honest, I just didn’t want to do it. It’s hard to describe the battle that went on in my head. Not only did I have the usual ‘ you’re not a runner’, ‘what do you think you’re doing’ and ‘really, you want to run do you?’ going on, I also had a more general crisis. I had a really dark cloud hanging over me which made everything so hard. – the black labrador hanging on to the back of my top and pulling me back. But that wasn’t everything, I also had a tiny little voice, a very quiet voice initially that was trying to be determined not to be ill, not to give in, not to allow the black dog into the room. That voice got louder as we kept going. I had a major wobble just before 2.5 miles where I informed Kath that I couldn’t do ‘it’. I have no idea what ‘it’ was but I was sure that I couldn’t do it. She took no notice of me and just told me that I could and kept going. As she is right about most things I just had to believe her and keep going with her.

The running was hard, I was grateful for every walk break but as I kept going the little determined voice got louder and as we passed 5 miles it got a little bit giddy and almost shouted ‘you can do this’. There was no reply. There was no response saying ‘don’t be stupid’, there was silence. A silence I’m not used to when running. Is this the empty mind, clearing head kind of silence that real runners talk about?  I enjoyed the last half a mile. I actually enjoyed it. I felt like giggling (except I didn’t have enough breath for that), I’d just pictured a big black dog as the symbol of depression running along behind us on the canal desperately trying to keep up with us, tongue hanging out, panting, getting slower and slower and eventually, probably around 4 miles giving up. I win. I ran 5.75 miles today. I woke up not well but I came back from running feeling confident that I will go to bed much better.

So 5.75 miles. Pace of 13.15 minutes per mile. An hour 16 minutes and 10 seconds. However slow that might seem to you, as long as I’m outrunning my black dog it’s fast enough for me. Oh and when I got back on the scales after the run I’d actually lost half a pound since last week. I haven’t changed the weight in the log because that felt like cheating but it felt good.

Calf niggles, eating crap and running in the sun

Jess Guth2 Comments

I was looking forward to a run after work on Tuesday – that never happens! I walked up the hill from the bus stop, got changed and we set off. For the first time since my injury we set off from home rather than heading for the canal bank. The first stretch is a slight downhill. Great. Then a bit uphill, fine apart from the huge gust of wind that nearly knocked us over but certainly took our breath away. As we turned the corner and started on the next little downhill section I felt my right calf complain a little. I finished that 2 minute run, walked and then set off on the next run, it niggled some more. The next walk came quickly and we set off to run again and the niggle turned into a twinge and I stopped. It was so frustrating. We’d been running a consistent pace of just over 12 minutes per mile and I felt strong even on the uphill bits. My calf however is not yet ready for hills!

No running Wednesday, instead I curled up on the beanbag (no sofa still), drank a glass of red wine and tried not to think about the utter crap I’d eaten during the day. It started well with porridge (finally found some in sachets that isn’t too sweet) but then went down hill from there with sarnies from work and chips and biscuits and stupid amounts of coffee to get me through the 13 hour day I did. Oh well Thursday was meant to be another day altogether…

So today I didn’t have to be at work early. We did half an hour of yoga (balance for beginners – or in my case unbalanced) and had pancakes and a big bowl of fruit salad. Then I made my way to Leeds. Things fell apart at lunch with crisps, chocolate, more sarnies, more crisps…  Not holding out much hope for the Sunday weigh-in this week. After a day in Leeds I was ready for home and after being stuck on a commuter train packed like sardines I wanted to be outside. I wanted space and I actually sort of wanted to run. We went along the canal for 30 minutes in our 2minute/30 seconds patters. It’s warm. Our average pace was 12.58 minutes per mile. It felt good, I felt ok, my calf muscle is behaving itself. I like running in the sun!