I did ten miles today. The first seven were good, the last three not so much. But I did it.
More when I have more time – but given the last few posts I wanted to share that I actually got my butt out there and did it.
I did ten miles today. The first seven were good, the last three not so much. But I did it.
More when I have more time – but given the last few posts I wanted to share that I actually got my butt out there and did it.
So yesterday I couldn’t be bothered. I couldn’t much be bothered today either. And neither could Kath. And then we didn’t click about anything this morning – we got snappy and a bit tearful and then we got a grip. Having to train for London is, we agreed, taking the fun out of running. Neither of us wants to not do London though so actually we are just going to have to get a grip and get over ourselves.
Neither of us was in a good place to attempt our long run so we postponed that and went for a walk at Bolton Abbey instead. The day got better. Kath went for a short run to our sheep and back. I didn’t, couldn’t be bothered. I was messing around on Facebook and saw this:

So can we just stop a sec and let that sink in. A year ago I was half way through the couch to 5k programme. A year ago I could not run or even run/walk 5k. So yes, I’ve been struggling and it all seems a bit pointless but that mantra about focusing on how far you’ve come rather than how far you’ve left to go…Well, just point me back at this post every now and again because
I have come a bloody long way, I have done bloody well and I should be proud of what I have achieved. So let’s just all pause for a sec and focus on that rather than worrying about what I’m not doing. Let’s just see where celebrating the success takes us.

Am I falling out of love with running? Actually, if I’m honest I was never really in love with running. I am struggling to find the motivation. I have only been out once this week and actually that was a great run – we went uphill and it was hard, proper hard, but I got further up the hill before stopping than I ever have before and I ran back down faster than I ever have before. I had that slightly smug achey feeling for a couple of days after and the run completely cleared my head.
But yesterday I couldn’t be bothered and today I can’t be bothered. It’s all odd because I am looking forward to the long run at the weekend. It’s the runs during the week that I just can’t motivate myself to do. It’s the routine ones I am struggling with.
I just read my first post on this blog – it talked about honesty and telling it like it is. So here it is: I can’t be bothered. Today I am not excited about running the London Marathon. Not because I don’t think I can do it or whatever, just because I can’t be bothered. I know that if I went out and ran I’d feel better, but I can’t be bothered. Today, right now, I couldn’t care less about running or about how it makes me feel better or what an achievement it is, how far I’ve come or any of that. I just can’t be bothered, with any of it.
Sorry.
Alright alright, I know. Who the heck am I to give any kind of advice about running a marathon. Well that’s exactly what I thought but in the online running Club I joined (The Clubhouse – it will re-open for new members in April with a new look and programme including expert input, challenges etc – looking forward to it) there are a few of us training for marathons and a few people doing their first marathon. One lovely lady was having a marathon sized and shaped panic this morning and it made me reflect on how I feel about London looming. In 10 weeks it will all be over so how do I feel?
I am mostly calm. I am worried about the patchy training. I am a little concerned about the next training run which is a ‘get the train to Leeds and run home’ kind of a deal but I realised that I am totally calm about the event itself. So here’s what I know and what is keeping my calm
I haven’t blogged for a while. I’ve been grumpy about running, then about not running and then about running again. I’m just not feeling it. I had a horrendous cold and after not running at all for a while finally managed to get myself out for 45 minutes at the start of this week. It was slow and it was awful and I skillfully managed to avoid going again on Thursday and again on Friday morning. Yep, the queen of excuses is back. Today I ran out of excuses. I knew I had to go. I need to get my running sparkle back. I have a marathon in 10 weeks for fucks sake – just get your fat arse out there and run.
So, we got back from feeding our sheep and moving our ram to another field and Kath just said we should go immediately, no sitting down, having half a bagle, sitting a bit to digest that and then go (or think of an excuse) – no, just go. I couldn’t think of a plausible reason to say no. So we went. We did 6 x 1 mile with 5 minute walking inbetween. So the idea is that you run the mile a bit faster than your normal long run pace (or run/walk) so for me that means that I try and run the full mile without walking. No run/walk intervals today, just me and one fucking long mile six fucking times. Here’s how it went
Mile 1: Fuck off, just fuck off
Mile 2: Downhill, I hate running downhill, I hate running actually
Mile 3:This is not fucking funny
Beginning of Mile 4: Ok, ok breathe, you’re ok
End of Mile 4: Seriously now, fuck off
Beginning of Mile 5: I HATE running
Middle of Mile 5: Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
End of Mile 5: I’m miserable, I am actually really fucking miserable
Start of Mile 6: Last one, come on, last one, yay, last one – fuck a mile’s a long way
3/4 of a mile left: FUCK
1/2 mile left: This mile is fucking endless
1/4 mile left: I’m gonna puke
Finish: I seriously might puke
2 minutes after finish: Haven’t puked – have to walk up hill
Top of hill: Can I cry now?
Home: I am not ever doing that again, it’s just fucking stupid
After hot bath and food: That wasn’t too bad, when are we running tomorrow?
So I am sort of glad that I went. My lungs are still full of crap and I am caughing it all up as a type (nice!). Now it is just about getting my head right and getting back in the routine of two 45 minute weekly runs and the long weekend runs. Let’s just not think about the really long one coming up next weekend. Let’s just pretend that’s weeks away!