Tag: run

Running for Mind in 2019

Jess Guth1 Comment

I don’t know about you but I have, for at least the second year running, not really managed a Christmas wind down. The first semester has once again been brutal, I finished work on Friday with a mountain of stuff still left on the to-do list and I feel like I have dragged myself to the end of the term just sort of hanging on. Running has been lovely for headspace and to give me some time to not think and let my brain do its thing and it has been good to work physically somewhere near as hard as I’ve been working mentally. But I can’t say I’ve managed to unwind yet. The second Dopey Challenge Simulation which we finished yesterday shows, I think, just how wiped out I am. I went to bed just after 9pm last night and slept until 8am and then had another 2 hour kip at lunch time. I could go back to bed now (it’s not even 6pm).

But slowly I am beginning to feel Christmass-y. The silly music is on, I’ve had a mince pie or two, the fridge is full of Christmas (and birthday) food, the tree looks lovely and I’ve just lit some candles. Dad is here, arrangements are made for Christmas Day and I have a plan for my birthday (read – do nothing). I’m starting to feel calmer and a little more settled and a little more like I might be able to ignore the work list. I realise that I am one of the lucky ones though. Overall the Christmas break is a good time, a time I like and a time for reflection, cuddles, being together and a good measure of silliness. It’s a time to help my mental health re-balance.

I am pleased to see more recognition on social media that Christmas can be really tough for people for all sorts of reasons so this post has two purposes (yes I know I’ve taken while to get to this point):

  • To remind you that it is absolutely ok not to be ok. You don’t have to be jolly and loud and extrovert and festive. You do whatever you need and remember that there are people you can reach out to. Mind has some links/numbers for us on their website.
  • To let you know that Kath and I will be running the London Marathon for Mind and to ask for your support. We’ve had some really lovely and generous sponsorship already and we really appreciate it.

I’ve been lucky I guess. I’ve never needed Mind’s services as such. I’ve had one amazing doctor and a therapist who is incredible and ‘gets me’. I’m making progress and have far more good days than bad days. Sometimes I can even laugh at the bad days. I’m mostly in a good place and certainly feel like I understand my mental health and ill-health more now. Mind helps with this journey for so many people directly through support services and indirectly by providing information and education. I really want them to be able to keep doing what they do because one day that phone number, that online community or that information leaflet might be a lifeline for any of us. So when Kath was offered a place to run the London Marathon for Mind, I jumped at the chance to link my ballot place and also officially run for them.

Running will be my life-line over the next couple of weeks. I get irritated with the Christmas thing and people and the forced, fake cheerfulness all around and don’t even get me started on New Year and resolutions and the huge damage the fitness and diet industry will inflict in January. Running will be my me-time and headspace. It will make Christmas positive and fun because this is how I roll (sometimes literally) and as I run I often think back to the days when getting out of bed was impossible – running is a win, a huge one. So the Dopey Challenge which starts on 10th January and the London Marathon in April are for those of you who are currently facing your own impossible. If any of you can support mine and Kath’s efforts and sponsor us, you can do so here. I know it sounds cliched but it really does mean a lot to be able to do this!

Thank you!


Dopey Simulation 2

Jess Guth2 Comments

That’s that then. Dopey Simulation 2 is done. The plan was 45 minutes, 5 mile walk, 12 mile walk and 20 miles. We started Wednesday rather than Thursday so we could have tomorrow with Dad, who is staying with us for Christmas, rather than being out for ages both weekend days. Wednesday was fine. I had a PhD meeting over lunch but close to home so once I’d walked home from that I got changed and headed out. I was still too full really but it didn’t matter too much. I plodded along gently and that was that.

Hm, road shoes

Thursday I was tired and feeling very end-of-term-y. We’d also had dinner with a friend and had gone to bed much later than we normally would. My heart wasn’t in it but I got the 5 miles done. I ran the first three and then walked a mile to see if I could do it within Disney pace. I could. I ran walked mile 5 with a lot of walking and then walked the last bit home. Miles done, not really feeling it though. General underlying wanting to curl up and do nothing sort of tiredness.

River Aire at Beckfoot

Friday. 12 miles. I was definitely not keen on doing this one. We got up, did our Christmas food shop and then I got sorted to head out. I went along the road to Bingley. It was soooooo busy with cars that I was making far better progress towards Bingley than they were but couldn’t get my head around going beyond Bingley. That just seemed too far. Instead I dropped down into Myrtle Park and was going to loop round that. As I was plodding down the hill in the park I remembered the route we did a while back when the 15 miler nearly broke me. I liked the idea of picking up that route for a while. so crossed the bridge over the angry looking River Aire and plodded on. I was wearing road shoes which perhaps wasn’t ideal for the first stretch of this but it was worth it. It was lovely to get off the road for even just a short stretch. I marched up Beckfoot Lane and then jogged back down into Bingley and headed back along the road. The traffic was still not really moving. I had in my head that I needed to buy some soup stuff for Ernie-cat and I remembered that we hadn’t bought any Guinness for Kath but that she might like some so I was going to run to the shop and then walk back. I did that but I miscalculated distances and as a result only did 11 miles, not 12. I decided that was enough though and overall felt pretty happy with the outing.

Ernie-cat post run cuddles

Today – 20 miles planned. We are both tired. Not so much physically or from the previous runs but just generally and particularly mentally. Our hearts really weren’t in this one. We couldn’t settle at all. We’d got up at 5am to have porridge and then left just after 6am. We made our way along the road towards Saltaire where we looped onto the canal and headed back towards home. It was uneventful, we put in early additional walks and tried to pretend we weren’t both feeling really crap. The noise of lorries and busses coming past was making us both wince so I started shouting out random Disney characters at the top of my voice every time one came past. It made us laugh a bit and while it obviously didn’t drown out the noise it did somehow help. We ran/walked to mile 8 where we saw a Kingfisher just at the bottom of Dowley Gap Locks. Then we walked (within Disney pace) til mile 11 and then ran/walked again to about 12.5. At that point Kath left me to head home. She’d had enough physically and mentally.

Where the meltdown wasn’t

I needed to go on a little just for my own peace of mind and to know that I’ve done enough for Dopey. I kept walking within pace and pushed to 14 miles. I often have a complete meltdown when I go further than half marathon distance and that meltdown often comes between 14 and 15 miles so I felt like I needed to go further. I planned to push to 16 miles, then turn and head back and go back the long way round which should take me to 20. However at just over 14 miles I really started feeling the cold and the rain was now soaking through my jacket. I turned and walked back. At 15 miles I briefly stopped to mark the point at which this time I did not have a meltdown and to record a quick Happy Birthday video for my friend Jo. I liked the idea of doing something positive at that point. I walked on. At nearly 16 miles I bumped into Kath’s mum, chatted a few minutes and then walked on. I’d seized up a bit so didn’t get going properly again and my last mile ended up just over 16 minute mile (it was mostly uphill). So just over 17 miles will have to do. Just getting out was a win today so 17 miles is more than I could have hoped for really.

The rest of the training plan has only single figure numbers on it. The taper starts here. Proper rest day tomorrow and maybe Christmas eve too and then come the last few runs and the taper crazies. I think the longest run left is 7 miles. That feels doable now. Dopey feels doable. It hasn’t all gone to plan but I think it’s been enough. What we need now is rest. We’re ready. I trust the training.

Happy Running.

750 miles

Jess GuthLeave a comment

So my running successes and celebrations are a bit like buses! Nothing for some time and then everything happens at once. There was the longest run of the year last weekend and since then it just keeps on coming. Yesterday I shared the news about being a #Run1000Miles ambassador – the excitement of that is not wearing off.

What I didn’t tell you yesterday is that I was supposed to run 45 minutes but just couldn’t be bothered. I was tired and my feet were still really sore from the 20 miles. Not blisters sort of sore but impact, pounding too much road sort of sore. So I went out today instead. I wasn’t massively looking forward to going out, it was soooo cold (not really it just felt like it). I got changed and set off. I had my phone in my back pocket and it seemed to be pulling my pants down so I faffed with that and moved it to me jacket pocket. My pants were still falling down though so I spent more time faffing with trying to tie them tighter – I kept running though.

I got the first mile beep and took a sneaky peek at the time – under 12 minute mile pace which surprised me a little because I didn’t feel like I was going fast. I just kept running , dropped down onto the canal towpath and got lost in just running. I don’t remember thinking about anything. Then my watch suddenly beeped for mile 2 and I glanced. ‘Oh good’ I thought and then ‘what’ and then I looked again. ‘oh’. Mile 2 was 10.38 pace. I was confused. I kept running thinking that maybe I should just slow down a little. By about 2.5 miles it was actually beginning to feel quite hard. But somehow I couldn’t slow down and just kept running. I hit 5k just before I was turning off to go back up the hill so it was sort of perfect. Mile 3 was 10.33 minute/mile pace. I walked up the hill. I covered 3.65 miles. I was confused. I had just run 5k faster, 2 minutes faster, than my previous fastest. 

I got home and popped the mileage into my spreadsheet. I have cracked 750 miles. So in one day I ran fast and cracked the target I set for 2018. I have had a celebratory cup of tea and  piece of chocolate. 

Happy Running

20 Miles

Jess Guth5 Comments

At one point this post was going to be called ‘I hate running’ and it was going to consist of just that one simple sentence. But let’s start at the beginning. Because of various bits and pieces like the hilly Simon’s Seat adventure or the run we cut short last weekend, the most distance I have covered has been 17 miles. It wasn’t entirely successful either. According the the plan I should have been at 23 miles now but even with the modified plan I should be at 20. I wasn’t. I now am. That’s the good news.

We decided that we would put in a 20 miler today. No back to back running or anything, just a 20 miler instead of the 6 on the plan. We both felt ok and not still tired from last week. We decided to run Sunday rather than Saturday because the weather forecast looked better and it turned out to be the right call – Saturday was windy and wet, today was lovely, sunny and dry. We woke up at 5.30, had a cup of tea and a bagel with butter (much better than with peanut butter – fuelling is the same I think but the peanut butter repeats). Then we slowly got up and organised and set off.

We ran down the hill the long way round and when we reached the bottom road we dropped into 2 minute running and 30 second walking intervals. We had decided to go along the road to mix things up a little – it was early so there was almost no traffic and it gave us a little more light than the canal towpath would have done while we were waiting for daylight to take hold properly. It was all fine. We ticked off Crossflatts, Bingley, Nabwood and then Saltaire where we dropped down onto the canal. It was all fine without any problems at all until about 6 miles. At 6 miles I had a little niggle in my right hip, tightness more than a niggle really. It never went away again but it wasn’t too distracting

We went along the canal to 8 miles, saw a kingfisher just beyond Salts Mill and then turned round to avoid the section in Shipley which just isn’t that nice. Somewhere around 9 miles I got  quite a sharp pain in my right foot, just below the ball of my foot. I ignored it to ten miles and then we walked an extra interval and I stretched my feet and then my hamstrings. The pain was still there but it wasn’t too bad so we kept going. We saw a heron at the bottom of 5 Rise Locks. Miles 11 and 12 weren’t easy but ok and Kath suggested that to re-set a little and make sure that the doubts that were creeping in didn’t take hold, we could walk up the hill at Morton Lane and then go back down Swine Lane and continue along the canal. That made sense to me so we did that. 

Half marathon covered and onwards. I was struggling with the two minutes. My hips had set tight and my foot hurt. I wasn’t doing that well mentally, too much negativity. After another mile and a bit of struggling through 2 minute running intervals we changed it to 1 minute runs. That felt a little better. Now coming to 15 miles and for a couple of intervals it felt like I was going ok. We had to go past a series of options for going home and it was so tempting to sod the miles, walk up the hill and soak those aching legs, hips and feet in a hot bath. I lost it. 

We walked on and I tried not to cry. I stopped and we had a brief chat and Kath wanted to know what was going on. I didn’t really know. I just knew that I wasn’t sure I could keep putting one foot in front of the other. We walked on a bit and then I asked Kath if she’d walk the rest of the road with me towards the ‘bottom road’ so that I could reset and then we could maybe pick up run walk again. As we walked I was trying to breathe and not cry and then Kath said that she knew it would sound harsh but that I either needed to get my head together or we needed to head home because walking along like I was wasn’t healthy. At that moment I felt utterly abandoned. I was trying so hard to get my head together and my breathing was getting better and I had just asked for help which I don’t find easy. It felt like a complete betrayal. I told her she just didn’t get it and I never wanted to run with her again and walked off in the opposite direction (Yep, I do drama well!). She called after me to stop being pathetic which just felt like more evidence that I shouldn’t even bother trying with this running thing. As we agreed on later, as far as running meltdown tantrums go, this was one of my better ones.

Anyway, we figured it out (and continue to) and I repeated my plea for help and we kept going. We ran for 1 minute and walked for 30 seconds and somehow made it through 16 miles, then 17 and eventually 18. There were some additional walk breaks but we kept moving. 19 miles came and  we were now closing in on the last canal bridge I would have to see today. I was willing it to come and it did and I continuously ran the last bit to it and then we walked the hill home. 20.38 miles in the bag. We had a Tailwind Rebuild recovery drink and then did 15 minutes of yoga before having some food. Then we had a bath. I am tired. I genuinely enjoyed the first 10ish miles. I feel confident about the first three Dopey runs. Half marathon distance is ok. I’m not sure how I feel about the 26.2. I’ll do it. I hope I can enjoy it, or at least more of it than this run would suggest and I hope I can do it without taking my emotions out on Kath.

The best thing about having done it? Well obviously hot chocolate from my moomin mug curled up on the sofa with our Ernie-cat. 

In other news – Sunday weigh in. I have lost roughly 5 pounds since I last posted about it I think and the 2 pounds since last week just nicely drop me into the next stone bracket. Ernie cat is continuing to put on weight so we’re all going in the right direction

Rainbows into gorgeous nothingness

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I am as always late to the party. Kath ordered me some rainbow laces last year and today, after they have been lying around in our hallway for over 12 months I finally got round to putting them into a pair of my road running trainers. It was of course a displacement activity – I’ve been unfocused all day. I have felt crappy. The beginnings of a cold I mentioned the other day is still here and I have my period and it’s getting towards the end of term, it’s dark and cold…

So I just wasn’t feeling it at all. Running just seemed like such an idiotic thing to be doing on a day like today. Just not something I would do. But then I had just spent a stupidly long time getting my rainbow laces into my shoes. So I decided I would go anyway – the plan just has 45 minutes on it and I didn’t even have to run it all… 

So off I went descending into the fog. We’ve been above it for most of the day as you can see in the pictures and it’s just been hanging in the Aire valley. I plodded the first mile assessing any residual stiffness from the weekend – nothing – and then settled into the second mile.

The canal was an eery sort of stunning. Visibility was very very low and ahead of me all I could really see was a silver sort of nothingness. Stunning, inviting and just very slightly unsettling. I was going comfortably fast but the slight sick-y feeling I’ve had all day lingered and when I started feeling really uncomfortable just before two miles I decided to run to 2 miles and then walk home. I pushed the pace a little and finished mile two in 11.29.

I walked back the way I came for a bit enjoying the silence fog brings and wondering how long it would take for me to be able to see the bridge I’d just run passed again. It seemed like it should be right there but it wasn’t, not for a long time, just gorgeous silver quiet nothingness. A bit further on, where the fog was being pierced by lights from the houses, I bumped into one of my mum’s neighbours walking her dog. We walked a little stretch together chatting before I headed up the hill home. 

I’m glad that’s done, ticked off and I can now spend the rest of the evening sitting on the sofa eating more than my share of Terence the Turtle jelly sweets I had in my advent calendar this morning.