Tag: running

Taking Stock

Jess Guth1 Comment

Three years ago I went for my first ever solo run. You know, like actually running on my own. I did not want to do it. As you can see in the blog posts from that time, running on my own was an impossibly big deal. I felt self-conscious, out of place and like I really didn’t know what I was doing. Things have changed. I still very much love running with Kath. I like the quiet togetherness just gently plodding along side by side brings (even if she’s gently plodding and I’m working quite hard); I value the encouragement and support Kath gives me and I undoubtedly work harder a lot of time when she is with me – whether that’s on speed work or just keeping going for longer. But I have also learned to love running on my own. I now sometimes crave the me time and the headspace that brings, I like the way it allows me to get totally lost in my thoughts without reference to anything else and I like how #MyRunMyRules applies completely without qualification to the runs I do on my own. The other thing I really like about doing my own things is that Kath also does her own thing and seeing her improve and listening to her after a run is really motivating and inspiring. I’ll never run her times but I can damn well try and not let the gap widen further. Seeing her knock 20 seconds off a 5km time spurs me on to try and do the same off mine. I’m also just really proud of her, It’s not been an easy journey from a totally wrecked shoulder, back, hip and ankle to seriously contemplating the possibility of an ultra. She’s her own brand of superwoman.

This time in 2015 it is also probably true that I had no idea what I was doing. I have learned a lot about running in 3 years. I’d only been running for about 6 months. I had no idea what worked for me and what didn’t, no idea about fuelling and nutrition, stretching, building a training plan, no idea about training physically or mentally. My easy pace was a walk, my tempo pace barely more than a walk, I hadn’t a clue about what race pace might be and absolutely no idea what it might feel like to actually be able to run at different paces and have some control over what was going on. Since those early days I have read a lot, I have looked at countless training programmes, I have laughed and cried at descriptions of different workouts, different paces, different plans for different distances. I have studied information about nutrition, read sports science articles as well as the summaries in magazines and have, in the process confused and unconfused myself more times than is sensible. Slowly, very slowly I am beginning to feel like I have some control over what is going on here. I am beginning to realise that I don’t just have two speeds – walk and run- but that I can control pace, that I can push harder over shorter and take it easy for longer distances (and not just by using run/walk for longer distances and not for shorter). I am beginning to understand what an easy run feels like, what race pace might feel like and what my flat out sprint is. I better understand what to eat and when, how much I need to drink, what I should really stay away from. I know more and knowing more is a good thing for me. My brain needs to understand, and it’s beginning to and with that comes a better understanding of my limits and how to break through my impossible.

I hopped on the scales for my Sunday Weigh In this morning.  I am almost exactly the same weight that I was 3 years ago – which is about half a stone lighter than I was a couple of months ago. I’d still like to lose at least a stone before Dopey. It will just make running these stupid distances easier. I also know that I have a relatively short window to achieve that because long distance running is actually not that great for weight loss. Mostly staying off the booze is undoubtedly helping and then it is finding the balance between fuelling sufficiently, allowing some treats because what’s the point of running if you can’t have cake and not overdoing it. We’ll see – I know that once we get into consistent double figure miles I’ll be constantly hungry so it’s about what I eat rather than about how much, limiting amount doesn’t really work – I just flake out on the running. Last time the high mileage caused broccoli cravings and peanut butter cravings (luckily not together) – if  I get the same this time I can probably work with that!

So what’s the point of this post? Well I often think I have not made any progress at all. On the days where I struggle to run a mile without walking or where I feel like there is no way I can keep going for 45 minutes or do the miles the plan dictates, I often think this is all pointless and I’ll never improve. It is worth taking stock every now and again to think about how far I have come. I now routinely run on my own, I feel like I belong out there, I feel far less self-conscious in running gear, I have much more of a sense of what I am doing, what I should be doing and what it should feel like. I’m not much faster but I am more consistent, I can’t go much further but I can do so more comfortably and more consistently. I have come a bloody long way.  Just remind me every now and again.

I still have this silly cold but I think I will be able to pick up the training plan this week. 45 minutes on Tuesday and Thursday – although I won’t have time Thursday so will do Tuesday and Wednesday if I can and then the weekend runs which are 4 miles Saturday and 13 on Sunday. I’ll keep you posted

Happy Running.

 

Sneezy and Dopey

Jess Guth1 Comment

SnowWhite-Sneezy-3I’m curled up in bed feeling miserable. It’s quarter to twelve. But it’s been quarter to twelve for weeks, so long in fact that I can’t remember how long ago the alarm clock stopped. I have no idea what time it really is. Afternoon sometime. Kath is out for a run. I’m not. I have what feels like razor blades in my throat and tiny creatures with pickaxes attacking my tonsils (why do I imagine them like minions?), my ears feel vaguely painful and muffled like I’m under water, I’ve got an annoying pathetic cough and a nose that can’t decide if it is blocked solid or setting a new record for most snot expelled in a 24 hour period. Yes, I have a cold, yes I am being dramatic, pathetic and far more miserable than is really warranted but I am totally crap at being unwell. I could just ride it out with raspberry sorbet, hot chocolate and crap TV but instead this is a disaster.

This was not the plan at all! You see after the Great North Run (which I’ll tell you about when feeling less meh) I was looking forward to a relatively easy but active week with Yoga on Monday (wow, legs, ouch much) and then a run on Tuesday to stretch the legs (it worked, it was a fabulous 4 miles) and then another run on Wednesday (never made it out, sore throat was kicking in, I was quite late back and soooooo tired), London on Thursday with walking routes planned rather than tube (never made it to London though thanks to a rather high temperature, almost no sleep and those little creatures with pickaxes), a run on Friday (hahahaha – barely made it off the sofa and someone gave the pickaxe creatures caffeine and sugar or whatever makes them work double time and steal your voice) and today I was meant to be going to the first ever Cliffe Castle parkrun, our new local parkrun which is close enough to run/walk there and which I am actually quite excited about. Well, given that a move from one room to another results in a coughing fit that lasts so long that by the time it’s over I’ve forgotten why I moved, even walking 5km wasn’t really going to work.

I am not happy. I know in the scheme of things resting and getting better is important images-3and won’t derail my training but in my head the GNR is now out of the way which means Dopey training has started and now I’ve missed my Wednesday race pace run, my Thursday (which I was going to do on Friday) 45 minute run and my Saturday 3 miles run. I know, I know. It’s fine. It’s early in training, there’s plenty of time, rest is important, getting better is important. BUT I’ve missed Dopey training runs. I’m struggling with that.

So excuse me for a day or two while I wallow.

Happy running.

 

 

Regents Canal conference running

Jess Guth1 Comment

IMG_2249[2]I am on my way home from a 4 day conference  – I’m tired but in a good way. I took my running stuff because I wanted to keep my legs ticking over prior to the Great North Run on Sunday. I arrived on Tuesday and settled into the conference thing. I have blogged about the conference itself in daily posts which you can read on my other blog if you’re interested. On Wednesday morning I headed out. The running here was just for fun, no pressure, no drills, no specific focus and I also left my run/walk intervals set. I headed out along Regent’s Canal towards Victoria park which I then when into at the top (?) end after about a mile and a bit along the canal. I did a loop in the park and then headed back along the canal for a 2.6 ish mile total. It was enjoyable. I said hello to the first couple of runners and got no response. Then I remembered that this is normal for London but somehow I couldn’t stop greeting my fellow human beings. I passed a total of 17 runners and said hello or hi to all of them and not a single one even acknowledged my existence, no smile, no nod never mind actual words. Wow!

Thursday I was going to run but then couldn’t be bothered in the morning. I just didn’t feel like going. I thought I might go in the long gap I had in the programme around lunch but then I got talking and forgot all about that. The same happened at the end of the day.  This morning I woke up really early and felt creaky. I did a bit of yoga in my room and then headed out again. This time I entered the park earlier – at about three quarters of a mile, looped round there a bit and then headed back for a total of roughly 2 miles. I could tell I was tired and that my brain wanted to get back to the work I was presenting this IMG_2250[1]morning but it was also good to get out and move and I felt much better when I got back.

So, last couple of runs before the big one at the weekend. I’m not really sure I’m really ready but all I can do now is trust the training I have done, believe I can do the distance based on some pretty convincing evidence that I can do the distance and then go and enjoy it. Let’s hope I do a better job of putting my socks on though.

Interesting Light
Sleepy Swans

See you on the other side!

New Shoe Run

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IMG_2186I bought some new Brooks road shoes a little while ago but hadn’t tried them out yet because most of my routes since then have involved trails. Today I finally wanted to see what they were like. Kath came with me on a 4 mile loop. The shoes were good. I am still struggling. The pup is still on form and making things more difficult than they really need to be. But that aside, I ran 4 miles. I am getting faster overall, average pace was 12.23 minute miles today and I was not trying to go faster than usual. On the flat it felt comfortable and while I did not run all the hills, I ran some and walked on my terms.

I need to wear the shoes a few more times before I do a full review but overall I am happy with them and with that that run, even if the pup insists I should have tried harder, run faster, not walked the hills and overall just done better.

Not long to the Great North Run now. The plan for the coming week is simply to have a couple of easy runs, stretch and hydrate and fuel well. Simple.

 

500 Miles and Running with the Black Pup

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IMG_2178It has been a funny old week. Well actually it hasn’t, or at least I haven’t been able to find anything funny about it. It’s probably been hilarious. The foggy tiredness started to descend on Sunday evening; a vague darkness settling, clinging, making itself at home. The black pup had, somehow unnoticed, crept into the room. She was asleep in the corner and I was cross I hadn’t seen her coming in. I went to bed. Maybe she wasn’t really there, maybe I was just tired (‘nah, I’m here, you know that kinda tired, it’s me).

Monday. Bank Holiday Monday. Monday was supposed to be long run and sort our shit out day. We were due to do 11 miles. I wasn’t too keen on the idea of getting up but eventually did and put my running kit on and then froze. I was rooted to the spot. There was no way I was going OUTSIDE. I mean seriously – like OUTSIDE? Freezing had nothing to do with running or the distance. I was quite happy about the idea of plodding along for 11 miles with my run/walk intervals, it was actually quite appealing but it would mean LEAVING THE HOUSE. Fuck no. The pup lifted her head: ‘Hi!’

I spent most of the morning on the sofa while Kath went and did the food shop and after a little while I started to want to run. When Kath got back I got changed and considered the possibility of leaving the house. Hm. The pup looked up again ‘Hi! You going out? Nah you’re not really are you’. I hesitated, she might be right. I hovered in the kitchen a little. Kath opened the door and gently nudged me out of it. I stood there for a minute or two and if Kath hadn’t been between me and the door I probably would have run back in. Instead we set off gently jogging down the street and I settled into a steady rhythm. I kept running for the entire 3.75 miles and then we walked up the hill home stopping for blackberries here and there. It was a definite win. It wasn’t 11 miles but it was a run. The pup was sulky and she was zapping all my energy. IMG_2177

Tuesday I worked from home and the plan was to run from Bolton Abbey to Burnsall after work. I was looking forward to it. I had an ok day. The pup was in the room and she lifted her head every now and again but generally kept quiet. She was there though. She was making me tired. We set off to go on our run. The route is stunning and I was looking forward to it. The run/walk intervals were set to 2 minutes run and 30 seconds walk. We set off. I felt tired and creaky but I was sure I’d settle.  I’m not quite sure when the negative chatter started. The puppy was bouncing along enjoying her time out and pointing out that I was feeling creaky. ‘Tight calf muscles?’ she would giggle periodically ‘comes from being unfit that’. The first mile was soooo slow. At least that’s what I thought. ‘Wow so slow?’. I tried to reason – lots of the route had been uphill, it was undulating generally… the pace was actually fine but I couldn’t shake the negativity. With every step it got worse.

IMG_2172I knew I was physically fine. Logically I knew that. I also knew that I was running well within myself, I knew the route was gorgeous, I knew…. but I couldn’t make myself believe it. By just under 4 miles I felt dead on my feet. It all felt totally pointless. The pup was bouncing round in circles – ‘you can’t do it, you can’t do it’. I decided to pull out of the Great North Run. I decided to bin long distance running. We stopped for a minute or two and I took a few deep breaths and kicked the pup. She growled but took off  and I got my act together for a bit and kept going. By just over 4 miles she’d caught up and she was on form: ‘Can’t do it, can you? Soooo slow, you won’t make the cut off time. Wow, it’s a wonder that butt can move at all – have you seen the size of it?’ She was relentless. I was tired and I gave up. I was pretty sure that was it, no more running because it just makes me miserable. I wondered if I could sell my Dopey registration. We sat by the river for a few minutes.

Then we slowly started walking back. The pup found it all hilarious and bounced around mocking me. I felt silly. I wanted to try running a little more so we ran/walked a bit – sometimes sticking to the intervals, sometimes just going by feel. I tried to think rationally and logically about the run  – prompted by some questions from Kath. Analysing it hushed the puppy a bit, she’s not keen on the science brain. Why did this run go so wrong mentally. Why could I not silence or at least quieten the negative chatter? Well, partly I think I had no plan. I assumed that because I had abandoned the idea of a long run on Monday that Tuesday would be the triumphant return to the distance. I had unrealistic expectations about pace based on the previous week’s 9 miles on the flat andIMG_2182 when that just didn’t happen (and it was never going to) I had no plan B and because of the depression absolutely no mental energy to stop the negativity and self doubt. I need a Plan B and C and possibly D. What I should have been working with was that Plan A was to cover the distance at a strong pace using the intervals, maybe Plan B could have been to cover the distance using the intervals as set – whatever the pace; Plan C to cover the distance adding extra walks where needed…. If I hadn’t built up the run quite so much in my mind and had articulated (at least to myself) the possibility of other plans or other ways of running it, I may have had a chance. Maybe not, it may simply be that the puppy was too much for me on that day. In the end I still covered 8.8 miles and in the end it was within Disney Pace (16 minute mile is the pace requirement for the Disney races – it was 15 something or other). That should be a win. It felt like total failure.

Back at the car I felt like I had been hit by a truck. I felt dead on my feet and everything hurt. I felt like I could sleep for months. Back at home though I couldn’t settle and I didn’t sleep well. Wednesday I worked on a workbook for one of my modules (frustrating, templates, urgh) and then drove to Nottingham for a gorgeous few hours with my friend Bex. It was just what I needed and I think maybe the pup stayed here in West Yorkshire. I think maybe Bex terrifies her a bit so she left me alone for the day and it was nice, it felt like maybe the darkness was lifting a little, feeling less clingy. By the time I got back it wasn’t long before I went to bed. Thursday I worked from home again and I vaguely wondered about a run but I couldn’t shake the tiredness and the non-specific ache. We’d booked a yoga class in the evening and I spent most of the late afternoon looking for an IMG_2167excuse not to go. But we went. I was again creaky and not at all bendy or strong but it was good to have to leave the house and to spend some time focusing on nothing but trying to get into and hold the poses. Black pups aren’t allowed into the gym.

This morning I actually got shit done. Kath had an appointment at Bolton Abbey and I went with her and while she was there I went for a run. I was dubious. I wasn’t sure I was mentally any stronger than Tuesday. But I had a different plan. I knew I had about an hour and I had 3 possible routes. The shortest would only be about a mile or so but I decided that if I wasn’t enjoying it or I wanted to stop then that mile would be fabulous. The next loop would probably be about 4 and a half and the longer would add another mile onto that. I had also decided to leave the run/walk intervals as they were and see – my ‘rule’ was that with every beep I would consider changing the pace – that way I could run for longer than the two minutes or walk for longer or whatever but on every beep I would need to think about whether to change. I also decided I might take some photos (dotted through this post for you) and that I was absolutely not thinking about pace. In fact this wasn’t a run at all. It was an outing, it was an opportunity to move and be outside and enjoy myself. If running happened then that was great but, I told the pup quite firmly, we were most definitely not going for a run. ‘Yeah, that’s because you can’t’ she said but she seemed to lose interest.

IMG_2181I set off on the first running interval  – all good. Then another, all good. Then I walked up a long sloping hill. Then I ran down the other side. And that’s how I continued – walking up, shuffling down, running on the flat, stopping for pictures. I didn’t stop after the mile loop, I kept going. I was doing our usual loop now but the wrong way round – I didn’t want any markers that might give me an indication that I was slower than usual. I didn’t want those visual clues to derail the positive of being out. I kept going. I went for the middle loop so crossed the Wharfe at the aqueduct and worked with the same pattern of run walk roughly to the beeps but sometimes running more and sometimes walking more. I chose the top path from the Strid and made good progress walking the up hill bits. Then there was a slight downhill and I started running and it suddenly felt different.  It felt effortless. I only had 100 metres or so before I had to stop to cross a little bridge behind a couple walking their dogs. They let me past but then their dogs came with me so I had to return them. I felt sure the effortlessness must have been an illusion.

I set off running again. Nope, there it was again. Wow, running is easy. Everything IMG_2183
aligned. I was breathing easy, all the creakiness had gone, there was no heaviness in my legs, I was running easy and just for the hell of it. I think I picked up the pace a bit and I just kept going and it felt amazing and joyful and free and light. That last half mile is, I think what we run for – for those occasions when it all comes together and running feels more like flying. Then I was back at the Pavilion and slightly irritated by people getting in my way. I got coffee and waited for Kath and then I got work shit done while she went for a run. It was a good morning.

The pup is here though. She’s lounging about and every now and again lifts her head to say something less than nice or helpful. She’s making me tired – that relentless sort of tiredness. The darkness feels less clingy and I am slowly slowly regaining my sense of humour about some things. It will take time. The pup isn’t one to just pop in for a cuppa and then bugger off again. She’ll linger. After today though I feel more confident that she is actually sort of under control. Like a sprained ankle, I know she’s there and she is stopping me from functioning fully but really is not stopping me from doing that much. I just need to rest more and be kind to myself and be aware of her.

Today’s run also took me through 500 miles for the year so far. I’m now just over 501 miles. I am really proud of this. I managed 500 miles last year – on New Years Eve and exactly bang on so I have now officially done better than last year! I won’t make the 1000 of the #run1000Miles Challenge but that’s ok. I’m running more consistently than I was and I am fitter and stronger than I was – whether the black pup agrees or not!

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